Mga Sumasampalataya

Dec 31, 2010

BEST OF 2010

And so another year is about to end in a few hours.

But before I give out the best of 2010, I’d like to first thank everyone who made this year a good year for Gillboard. When I outed myself a few months ago, I thought that I would lose some blog readers because of it. I did lose a few, but surprisingly I gained more friends.

I did not expect that, and I appreciate all the support.

So a big THANK YOU goes out to all the people who still visit me and read, comment and interact outside of this medium. I love you all (in a not so romantic way).

On to our awards, here are my choices for the best of 2010:

: Slumdog Millionaire
2010 wasn’t a good year for movies. There were a lot of duds and a lot of hyped movies that did not deliver. But there was really one film that I looked forward to. And I’m glad it delivered and exceeded my really high expectations. Buzz, Woody and the rest of Andy’s toys have one more adventure, and it’s their best yet. Toy Story 3 was for me one of the best films I’ve seen ever. I like films that make me smile after seeing it, but with this one, I was happy. I cried. I mean who wouldn’t. The last few minutes of the film was just heartbreaking as it is triumphant.
RUNNER-UP: Inception, How To Train Your Dragon, Kick Ass

You Changed My Life
John Lloyd’s been on my list three years running. I think I’m already a fan (man-boobs and all). It was a three way close fight for this title. One was about my birthday, the second is a shoe-in (Here Comes the Bride) which was hilarious and the third one was the winner, My Amnesia Girl. Toni Gonzaga and JLC have chemistry and they should do more. I know I hated the ending for this film, but damn, it was a great movie. No, this is not a rip-off of 50 First Dates. It’s a different story altogether. One that may not be common but is kinda logical (my kasintahan’s gonna burn me for saying this). Anyway, the tandem is fresh, the pick-up lines may not be original but were perfectly delivered by the duo. I loved this film.
RUNNER-UP: I Miss You Like Crazy, Here Comes The Bride

Assassin’s Creed 2
Compared to 09, there were a lot of great games that came out this year. Well, not really. It’s only this year that I got my Playstation 3, so I only got to play most quality games recently. I only listed down 4 titles because these were the ones that took up one quarter of my year. But the best game of 2010 for me is Mass Effect 2. This in my opinion is one of the most engaging games of all time. Imagine, if you played the first game and kept your file, it’s going to read all the decisions you made and carried it over to your story. You have a cast of well-developed characters, hundreds of planets to explore and tons of missions to finish. And through it all you have to keep all your relationships intact, for when the time comes you go on your suicide mission you wouldn’t want one of your team members to die. I’ve played it twice, and it broke my heart to see some of them died. I’m playing it the third time hoping I’ll keep them all.
RUNNER-UP: Fallout: New Vegas, Red Dead Redemption

I was hooked on only two shows this year. The one a gem of a new series based on the comic book by Robert Kirkman. And the other, is one hell of a serial killer series. It was a tight race, but I’m going with the numbers. At the end of it all, The Walking Dead was only 6 episodes long. Not long enough to really get me excited. Dexter on the other hand had 12 for Season 5. The story of a forensics expert by day and serial killer by night won me over this year. Each episode was brilliant and the best part is that it gets better and better each week. I recommend you to see this if you haven’t. It’s one of the smartest tv series on air right now. And it’s one of the best. I am banging my head on the table for not recommending this in the past.
RUNNER-UP: The Walking Dead

Pinoy Big Brother Double Up
It sucks that I work on the night shift as I don’t get to see any of our local teleseryes. So this year it’s a difficult category. I’m left with talent shows, variety shows, Juanita Banana and Sabel. My choice is based on what made me laugh out loud, and that goes to Showtime. I know the talents haven’t been as stellar as when it started, but man Vice Ganda’s antics do not grow old. She’s really hilarious. I actually want to be a part of the madlang people (I hope someone nice from ABS-CBN reads this and gives me complementary passes). I want to experience how it is to be an audience member. Maybe show off my talent. Lolz
RUNNER-UP: Pilipinas Got Talent

Norman Osborn’s Dark Reign
The Big Two didn’t really have a lot to offer in 2010. They did have their share of events, but they haven’t been really well received. But there was one event that I really got hooked on in 2010. The Thanos Imperative. The Cancerverse has ripped a hole in the universe. It’s a parallel world where nothing dies. Where Death is Dead. It’s slowly coming out of the hole to eat up our universe. Our only hope lies in Thanos, the mad titan. This is the best event I have read this year, I’d even go so far as saying this is the best since Joss Whedon took over the X-Men franchise. Every issue was a solid effort from it’s creators Dan Abnett, Andy Lanning and Miguel Sepulveda. It’s a story that’s so big it involve the whole Marvel cosmic universe, and it was great. I actually shed a tear when I flipped to the last page of the series’ ending.
RUNNER-UP: The Deaths of Nightcrawler and Cable

Invincible Iron Man
The Walking Dead may not have won this year’s award for Best TV Show, but it’s printed counterpart is a runaway winner for me. I am six years late in reading Robert Kirkman and Charlie Adlard’s post apocalyptic opus. This time I made sure that I am not left behind. I’ve actually caught up. 79 issues of this series, I read in a month’s time. Best damn comics I’ve read in years. The last year saw Rick Grimes and company living in a walled community and determining how to create a society free of rules and norms, it may have had less zombies this year, but the end of issue 79 promises to give us a return to form. A herd of zombies is about to destroy Rick’s community. I can’t wait for 2011 to begin!!!
RUNNER-UP: Invincible Iron Man, Unwritten

The Man Who Can’t Be Moved (The Script)
Call me jologs. Call me whatever you like. But I sang to the tune of Justin Bieber’s Baby all year long. It’s not a great song. Not by a mile. But dammit you’re lying if you tell me you don’t know this song. I sang this song at work. I sang this in the bus. While I’m taking a shower. I sang this to my Kasintahan. I sang this song all year long. Don’t tell me you didn’t.
RUNNER-UP: Club Can’t Handle Me

Goodbye Corazon Aquino
It’s two years in a row for the Aquinos. Happy news this time as the Philippines finally elect a new President. And with the change in leadership, we also saw a glimmer of hope for our country. But before that, of course who would forget the circus that is the campaign period of our elections. Jamby Madrigal’s tinapa incedent. Manny Villar’s desperate moves. Joseph Estrada’s betrayal. Jejomar Binay’s surprise win. The campaign period was only a few months, but the things that happened then could fill up news for an entire decade. Kudos to our fellow countrymen for choosing the lesser evil this time. But as always, our eyes are now focused on one man alone. And hopefully it won’t be because of the women who dumped him.
RUNNER-UP: Anything involving Willie Revillame

The Professional Heckler
Nominating someone is hard enough, given the category. I read all of the blogs that were nominated. Most if not all, I’ve acquainted to outside of our respective homes. But how do I choose the winner. Each blogger’s home is his/her personal kingdom. Each story or article came from the heart. They’re sincere. But then I read other people’s blogs because not only do I want to get to know these people, I also want to be entertained. Others entertain through their life’s anecdotes. Others through their travels. Others through jokes. And there are people who entertain just by giving their opinions. My choice for the year did not only do all of those mentioned. He also did it in fewer than thirty sentences, sometimes even less than a hundred words. And so I award the Best Blog of the Year to The Deadbeat Club.
RUNNER-UP: Wickedmouth, The Great Maldito, The Gasoline Dude’s Life
Agree? Disagree? And what are your bests for the year? Let me know.


Dec 29, 2010


Tutal naman hindi lahat ng nagbabasa nito ay nakakakilala sa akin sa personal, naisip kong ilaglag ang sarili ko. Wala lang. Tutal kilala niyo na naman halos ang buong pagkatao ko, at malamang nabasa na ninyo halos lahat ng ililista ko. Isang bagsakan na lang, ilalaglag ko na ang sarili ko dito.

Tamad kasi ako magcompose ng post, kaya pinagtiyagaan kong magbackread at kunin lahat ng kalaglag-laglag na mga rebelasyon ko sa blog na ito.
  • Noong bata ako, boses babae akong kumanta. Children's Choir ako at soprano noon. Pero nakick-out ako pagdating ng Grade 5, kasi naging baritone na.
  • Sinubukan ko makipagflirt sa babae nitong taon sa may Starbucks. Nilayuan niya ako, di pa man din ako nagsisimula.
  • Minsan na akong inindian ng mga kadate ko. Ang sakit sa ego.
  • Na-ban ako sa isang building sa Makati. Meron kasi akong naapplyan dati na Marketing job daw (pero ang trabaho talaga ay maglibot sa mga building sa Makati para mag-offer ng discount cards sa isang kainan). Nahuli kami ng guard, kaya kinunan kami ng pichur at naban doon. Di ko tinanggap yung trabaho.
  • Para magpa-impress sa mga kaibigan noon, sinabi kong pinsan ko si Carlos Agassi. Looking back, bad decision kasi jologs siya. Kahit ngayon pag naaalala ko, nandidiri ako sa pinaggagagawa ko.
  • Noong bata ulit ako, may pagkapatay-gutom at klepto ako. Ninanakawan ko ng tikim yung ulam ng kapitbahay ko pag hindi sila nakatingin.
  • Noong single pa ako, pag wala talaga akong magawa, nagdadial pa rin ako ng random numbers sa telepono (hindi cellphone). Umaasang magkakaroon ng kaphonepal. One time, may nadial akong may caller id. Tinawagan ako't nagbantang isusumbong daw ako sa tito niyang NBI.
  • Bobo talaga ako sa Math. Noong Grade 5 ako, kailangan ko pa ng tutor para maintindihan kung paano magconvert ng fraction sa decimals. Hanggang ngayon di ko pa rin naiintindihan.
  • Noong bata pa ako, may pagbabadya na ako sa aking preference. Naaalala kong nagkukwento ang nanay ko na hilig ko daw isuot noon ang bra niya.
  • Nasipa ko yung nurse ko noong nagpatuli ako.

Tama na yan. Wala na talaga akong kahihiyan. Pero, nakakahiya man, lahat yan kailangan pagdaanan para makarating kung nasaan ako ngayon. Kung alam niyo lang kung gaano kataas ang balahibo ko habang sinusulat ang post na ito. Wala na ata akong maipapamukha dito.

Kayo naman, may ilalaglag ba kayo sa sarili niyo?

Dec 28, 2010

IN 2010

1. I met with bloggers that I’ve followed here and in my other home.
2. I started to become more spontaneous
3. I jerked off in the office comfort room
4. I flirted with a girl in Starbucks
5. I outed myself in my straight blog
6. I attempted and miserably failed to close this blog
7. I bought a Playstation 3
8. For the first time I went to a company Christmas Party
9. For the first time in my life, went to Star City
10. I celebrated my birthday thrice
11. I went to church more
12. I had more sex than I ever had in years
13. And it’s just with one person
14. I learned how to download stuff using torrent
15. I went to my high school classmate’s mini reunion and felt out of place
16. I transferred to another team at work for promotion
17. I lost weight
18. I gained more weight than I lost
19. I got myself a funeral plan
20. I chose to get cremated when I die
21. I almost bought a condominium unit near the airport
22. I spent the most amount this year on comics than any other year
23. I got hooked on The Walking Dead (paid 8000 to complete the series)
24. I changed my taste in comic books, more indie and less mainstream books
25. I had a dengue scare
26. For the first time went to a wedding of a good friend
27. I got my heart broken
28. And had those broken pieces fixed.

By the way, the Kid wanted to meet some of my friends online, so we thought since I'll be alone on the second weekend of the year why not have a little get together. It's going to be in my house in Parañaque. If anyone's interested to come, let me know. I just want to prove to him that I do have blog friends. :)

Dec 27, 2010


Q&A portion ng aking mga kamag-anak over the years.

Late 80's - Ano ang gusto mo maging paglaki mo?
1994 - Kelan ka gagraduate ng high school?
1997 - May girlfriend ka na?
1999 - Anong kukunin mong course sa college?
2003 - Saan ka magtatrabaho?
2005 - Magkano ang sweldo mo?
2006 - Kailan mo ipapakilala yung girlfriend mo?
2007 - Kailan ka mag-aasawa?
2008 - Kailan ka mag-aasawa?
2009 - Kailan ka mag-aasawa?
2010 - Kailan mo bibigyan ng apo yang nanay at tatay mo?

Ngayon lang yata ako naging masaya dahil Pasko. I mean yung talagang masaya. Syempre kasi I spent Christmas Day kasama si Kasintahan.

Nagmall-hopping kami para manuod ng pelikula ni AiAi. Kaya lang either puno, sarado or hindi palabas sa sinehan. Nakalimang mall din yata kami nun. Glorietta at Greenbelt (puno), Robinson's Galleria (di kasali sa MMFF), Shangr La (sarado) at nag-end up kami sa SM Sucat (di palabas). Nag-aksaya lang ng pantaxi.

Nanood naman kami ng Dalaw. Predictable. Pero okay naman siya.

Noong isang araw, kachat ko ang Tita ko sa Facebook.

Tita: O Gillboard, kelan ka mag-aasawa?
Gillboard: Naku, matagal pa po.
Tita: Wag ganyan, baka mapag-iwanan ka niyan.
GB: Tita, lalake naman po ako, wala akong hinahabol na oras.
GB: Tsaka masaya naman po ako ngayon.
Tita: Kailan ka pa magkakaanak niyan?
Tita: Gusto mo pag-40 ka na?
Tita: Paano pag 20 na yung anak mo, ilang taon ka na nun?
Tita: 60?
Tita: Baka di mo na maalagaan yang anak mo. Sige ka.
GB: Eh tita, kayo po, kailan kayo mag-aasawa? :)
Tita: is offline

Ang saya lang. Nakalimutan niya atang wala din siyang asawa. Well, nagmana lang ata ako sa kanya. Lesbian kasi siya.

Oo nga pala, sa Jan. 6-11 wala akong magulang (magbabakasyon sila ng Lola ko sa Bohol at Cebu). Gusto ni Kasintahan magparty ako sa bahay sa January 8 Saturday. Sa Parañaque. May sasama kaya sa inyo? SSF at Jayvie, automatically invited kayo!!! Mandatory ang pagsama!!!

Dec 26, 2010


What I got yesterday:

From The Kid: Spent the whole day with me on Christmas Day. And homemade Caldereta.
From Officemate: The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet's Nest by Stieg Larsson
From Balikbayan Neighbor: XXXL Hanes Grandpa Underwear (I'm not big dammit!!!)
From Grandma: CK One Gift Set (150ml CK One, moisturizer, body wash, and sampler)
From Blog Friend: DVD copy of Scream 3
From Myself: Complete Set of The Walking Dead by Robert Kirkman
From Myself: Blu-ray copy of Inception

Seeing what I got, I could not ask for more. Maybe the right sized underwear.

I hope you enjoyed Christmas this year. And advanced Happy New Year to everyone!!!

Dec 24, 2010


Because the year's about to end in a week's time, I thought I should look back on the years that were. Five years ago...

- I was a Team Leader for a call center in Ortigas.
- I was not overweight
- the biggest problem I had was having an agent not coming to work or not performing
- I didn't care how I look, except if our bosses come to the office
- I only blog on friendster
- I still had friendster
- I have never heard the term work-life balance
- my goal was to buy a bottle of cologne at least once every quarter
- my best friends in the world were just my colleagues
- it is an unforgivable sin if I miss on buying a comic book
- I'm not sure if I had sex that whole year five years ago
- there was no one else in my mind but Joy
- I started experiencing quarter life crisis
- living alone away from the comforts of my own home was the last thing on my mind.

Maybe alot's changed five years ago as compared to now. Am I a better person after all these years? I don't know.

There are things that I was better at five years ago.

But there's one thing I am pretty sure of, I have grown up.


Dec 21, 2010


Some things you need to learn about me and Puerto Galera:
  • I have been to PG several times, and I've seen alot of gay people (they say it's the 2nd gay capital of the Philippines, next to Bed), but I've never really seen 'gay' people there. Like those who are not that out. I've only seen the trannies. It's the broken gaydar. I think I need to fix it. Not that I'm going to do anything with the knowledge. But it's nice to know.
  • The food I love to eat whenever I'm in Galera is their kebab. I love their pork kebabs. I love watching while their cooks grill them. I like watching one of the cooks. All sweaty and stuff.
  • Puerto Galera has been the source of alot of me and the kid's arguments. This has been long delayed. The original plan was to go there in October, during his sembreak. But it got pushed and pushed. The last fight we had was last week, because the kid squandered alot of his budget for our trip. Imagine my relief now that finally we got there.
  • December is off peak in Puerto Galera, but there still are a LOT and I mean a lot of good looking foreigners out there. Too bad with them are what my kid calls 'exotics'. I swear one of the women I saw there with a good looking foreigner looked like my neighbor's yaya.
  • When travelling via roro, avoid sitting next to or in front of a kid. They always end up vomiting.
  • If you stay in the water for too long, some fishies will come up to you to feast on dead skin cells on your feet. It's cheaper than what you pay for in the fish spa in Manila Ocean Park.
  • Whenever you go out of town, whether it be a beach, mountain or elsewhere, when you're with friends, it feels great. But when you go out and you're with someone you love, it'll be unforgettable.

11 IN 2011

The end of the year is fast approaching, and during these times, we normally shouldn't dwell on the bad things. 2010 will soon be over and a new year will begin. Here are eleven things I'm looking forward to in 2011.

The Avengers movie is coming. And these are just samplers of what's in store when that huge super hero movie comes in 2012. Did you see the trailer for Thor? It looks kick-ass, right?! I mean come on, it's the God of Thunder for crissake! I must admit Odin's eyepatch looks cartoony, but I don't care. I'm a comic book fan, and I'm so looking forward to this film. While there haven't been anymore details coming out for the Cap movie yet, I'm liking the pictures that are being leaked in the web. And that's one reason to look forward to in these upcoming films.

The last film, as almost perfect as it is, is not complete. And in the summer of 2011, we'll finally see how Voldemort succumbs to the power of Harry and his friends. I have finally reread the last book of the series, and I'm so looking forward to how the final chapters will be adapted on the big screen. Seven months seem like a loooong time for a fan like me. Sigh.

If you haven't heard of this wonderful little show, you must live under a rock. This is 2010's most popular tv show. And if there's one thing that's really disappointing about it, it's that TWD is only 6 episodes long. 10 months is a long wait. Season 2 will start Halloween of the next year. But I'm pretty sure it's going to be worth the wait. I've read the complete series, and I'm telling you there's alot to look forward to. Wilshire Estates, Herschel's Farm, the prison, Michonne, the Governor. And the cast you've seen and loved in the first season, not all of them will survive this post apocalyptic world.

This will be my birthday gift to myself. Hopefully, I'll have this by the start of the year. I've already budgeted for this. The office has been a little strict when it comes to internet at work, so I'll need to have a way for me to connect online whenever I'm working. Yeah, I know I'm shallow. That's the only reason why I want to own one of these sexy looking babies. Oh, and I already have 4 people to add in the Blackberry Instant Messaging service. Let me know if there's more of you out there.

Transformers 3, Gears of War 3, Uncharted 3 and Mass Effect 3. These are just some of the titles that will be coming out in 2011. Right now, I'm already telling you, when I score myself again for next year, I'm pretty sure that my grade in terms of savings will be another major fail. Anyway, back to the topic. All those titles are major releases. Transformers 3 might not be the most anticipated, but still I'm an 80s baby, so anything that's got these robots in disguise, I'm gonna buy. As for the video games. Just damn. Look the trailers up in youtube for these games, and I'm sure when you see them, your jaws will drop too.

I think I'm starting 2011 meeting up some bloggers that I read and read me. I'm personally looking forward to one particular blogger that I have a huge crush on. He said he's not going to be giving 'pasalubong' but finally putting a face on the smileys he puts on his headshots is worth it for me. And then there's also this grand anonymous bloggers meet-up that I got invited to. I'm looking forward to that too. Although I'm hoping it's not going to be held up north because I have work on the designated date and I am from the south. Also one thing to look forward to, are the new bloggers that will be popping up in 2011.

Season 10 is the final season of this show and this will be the season where Clark finally becomes the man of steel. The year when he finally wears the cape. The year The Blur becomes Superman. A few years ago, people were ready to say goodbye to this show when it's original creators left the series. But damn, Smallville just becomes better and better. They've already shown the Justice League and Justice Society, and now they've formed the Suicide Squad. The storyline's becoming really really exciting. I personally can't wait to finally see Darkseid.

Actually there's only one anniversary I'm looking forward to next year. I'm saying this now, because I'm sure that me and my 'kasintahan' will still be together come 24th of May 2011. We actually haven't got any plans yet for that day, and I think we won't be together then (the reason will be a bit later on). But that day is going to be special. Just like every day when I wake up since we became a couple.

Almost everyone I know hate to get old. I'm not. I'm excited to enter my 30's. It's the new 20's. This is the beginning of a man's prime. I have a lot of things planned to celebrate my upcoming birthday. I wanted to be with blog friends, just like last year. But I also want to meet new people. I want to be with my friends. I want to be with my 'kasintahan'. I want to be in Baguio. I want to be a billionaire so frickin' bad so I can do all that I've planned.

I'm just crossing my fingers that the promotion will be confirmed. I'll find out by next month. I'm not expecting. I don't want to be disappointed. But I'd really like for it to happen. I want to get promoted. I want to earn more. I started 2010 depressed, I'm praying the start of 2011 will be the opposite.

This is the reason why I might not be with 'kasintahan' on our anniversary. I'll be in Boracay attending a good friend's wedding. I'm really excited to go to Boracay. It will be my first time going there. I'm excited to do a lot of things. Parasailing. Snorkeling. Island hopping. Sight seeing. Oh yeah, and I'm excited for the wedding too.

Dec 16, 2010


Dec. 15, 2009 22:52:28
Nakatitig sa kalangitan si Aubrey. Pinagmamasdan ang kagandahan ng mga bituin.

Isang bulalakaw.

Pumikit si Aubrey. “Sana akin na lang si Eric,” tahimik niyang hiling.

Dec. 16, 2009
Nakatitig si Aubrey habang kumakain ang kaibigang si Eric. Nakikinig habang maingay na hinihigop ang sabaw. Nakangiti sa mga kwento ng kasama kahit hindi naiintindihan ang sinasabi nito.

Matutupad kaya ang kanyang hiling?

Parang narinig ang kanyang katanungan, tumingin sa kanya ang kaibigan. Kinindatan si Aubrey. Napangiti ang dalaga.

Jan. 18, 2010
Tahimik na nagtatrabaho ang dalaga.

Umupo sa kanyang mesa ang kaibigan.

“Ano ang gagawin mo mamaya?” tanong ng binata.

“Wala naman, what’s on your mind?”

Naglabas ng dalawang ticket si Eric, “concert mamaya ng barkada ko. Gusto mo sumama? Wala akong date?”

“Sure,” sagot ni Aubrey.

Jan. 19, 2010
Sabay umuwi sina Aubrey at Eric.

Magkahawak sila ng kamay.

Feb. 14 , 2010
Dumating si Aubrey sa opisina at nagulat sa isang dosenang pulang rosas na nakapatong sa lamesa.

Galing sa mahal niyang binata.

Apr. 02, 2010
Mahigpit na niyakap ni Aubrey si Eric. Huling araw ng binata sa kumpanyang tinatrabahuan nila. Nakatanggap ito ng mas maayos na trabaho sa isang malaking kumpanya.

Mahigpit ang yakap ng dalaga.

Mamimiss niya si Eric.

Mahal na niya ito.

Hinalikan siya sa pisngi.

“I will still see you,” sabi ni Eric, habang pinupunasan ang mga luha ni Aubrey.

May 1, 2010
“I’m sorry. Can’t make it tonight. Busy with work.” Text ni Eric kay Aubrey.

Sep. 30, 2010
Muling nakita ni Aubrey si Eric habang naglalakad sa mall.

Mag-isa ang binata sa isang mamahaling kainan.

Lumapit ang dalaga upang kamustahin ang lalaking kanyang minimithi.

“Hi,” bati niya.

“Aubrey,” gulat na sagot ni Eric. Niyakap ng binata ang dalaga. “It’s been a long time. Kumusta ka na?”

“I’m good. Namiss kita.”

Ngiti lang ang sagot ni Eric.

“Hi.” Tinig ng isang babae mula sa likod ni Aubrey. Isang magandang dalaga.

Tumayo si Eric mula sa kanyang upuan, nilapitan ang dalaga at hinalikan sa labi.

“Lisa, si Aubrey. Dati kong katrabaho. Aubrey, Lisa… girlfriend ko.”

Nawala ang ngiti sa labi ng dalaga. Nagmamadaling nagpaalam.

Lumuluhang natulog si Aubrey.

“Hindi na ako naniniwala sa mga falling star.”

Dec. 15, 2009 22:52:26
“I wish to find my true love,” tahimik na bulong ni Lisa nang makakita ng isang bulalakaw.

Matagal-tagal na rin pala akong hindi nakakagawa ng kwentong kathang isip.

Dec 15, 2010


Engel is not really difficult to please. He’s really easy. So easy, he’s like a man-whore.

These are the things that make him smile.

Army Navy Freedom Fries and Cheese Quesadilla
Krispy Kreme Original Glazed Donut
James Morrison and Jon Mclaughlin songs
Starbucks Venti Iced White Chocolate Mocha
Video Games
A sweet text from The Kid
Any kind of text message from his friends
Oishi Caramel Popcorn and Jack & Jill Piattos
New blog comments (even those from anonymous commentors who disagree with him)

See, he’s not that hard to please. Is he?


I’m not going to be original, I don’t have anything in mind right now, and I’m still ironing out my papers for hopefully my promotion next year (crossing fingers). I got this from Denoy's and Prinsesa Musang's latest posts.

And I’m writing this in English because the posts which I got this from are written that way, I don’t want to ruin the momentum.

1 I like Krispy Kreme

2 I don’t like K-Pop

3 I like comic books

4 I don’t like hearing Mike Enriquez talk or squeal or just him... I don’t like him.

5 I like New Zealand

6 I don’t like fx’s with broken air conditioning

7 I like my job right now

8 I don’t like that my internet connection in the office sucks

9 I like blogging

10 I don’t like dandruff

11 I like hugging

12 I don’t like Kokey

13 I like clean rooms

14 I don’t like cleaning

15 I like my ‘kasintahan’

16 I don’t like math

17 I like iced coffee

18 I don’t like hot coffee

19 I like boxing

20 I don’t like Manny Pacquiao

21 I like the Beatles

22 I don’t like pessimists

23 I like video games

24 I don’t like Mariah Carey

25 I like Piattos

26 I don’t like Season 2 of Glee (still like the music though)

27 I like toys

28 I don’t like spammers

Dec 10, 2010


My gaydar is busted. I don’t think mine ever works. I’m always surprised whenever someone comes out of the closet. Knowing that, I can’t sniff out people like us, unless they’re really out. But sometimes my ears wander, and the things I hear make me suspicious if the people who utter them are really straight or not. Or maybe I’m just malicious.

While in the FX:
Hunky PATTS Student 1: Napanuod ko kagabi si Jewel Mische, ang ganda niya ngayon pre.
PATTS Student 2: Yung sa TV Patrol ba yun? Sa channel 2 na daw siya?
HPS1: Oo. Ewan ko ba, mas maganda talaga siya ngayon.
PS2: Lahat naman ng lumilipat sa 2, gumaganda.
HPS1: Oo nga no, si Karylle. Ka-love team niya ngayon si Gerald
PS2: Ows? Ano na nangyari sa kanila ni Kim Chiu?
HPS1: Hiwalay sila.
PS2: Ah talaga? Sayang naman.
HPS1: Bakit pre, Kimerald ka ba?
PS2: Di no!!! Bea – John Lloyd to. Solid!!!
HPS1: hahaha. Ako Bea – Sarah.

Another instance in the FX:
Girlfriend: Bakit di mo sinasagot yung tawag ko kanina?
Boyfriend: Nanunuod ako ng Glee (this was I think a couple of weeks ago, the wedding episode).

And lastly, a few weeks ago at a colleague’s videoke party:
Cute Guy: (sings Too Many Walls)
Me: Is that guy gay?
Colleague: No. He’s straight. He just likes to sing 80’s songs.
Me: Ahhhhhh. Cool.

I’m confused.

Or disappointed.

Dec 9, 2010


Good vibes ako these days dahil...
  • Malapit nang magPasko at may mga nakuha na akong regalo.
  • Simula December 20, isang linggo akong walang pasok.
  • Sabi sakin ni Kasintahan, "I don't need anything kasi I'm fine with you na as my gift." Makakatipid na ako sa regalo sa kanya this Christmas. :P
  • Nagbalikbayan ang aking Lola mula San Diego. Ibig sabihin madami nanamang masarap na pagkain sa bahay!!!
  • Kahit inaaway ako, meron pa ring nagbabasa at naaapektuhan sa mga sinusulat ko.
  • For the first time in many years, naglagay ng Christmas lights sa bahay namin ang tatay ko.
  • Mukhang mag-iitlog na yung nahuli naming parakeet last month.
  • Dumating na yung gift kong Starbucks Tumbler para sa nanalo sa pacontest ko. Cute. Galing Taiwan.
  • Kahit wala akong pera, mainit naman ang Pasko ko. Yiii cheesy.
  • For the first time ulit, nanalo ako ng GC sa office namin. Mas maganda sana kung yung SLR o kaya yung IPad. Pero sa Sabado na yun.

Ikalat sana natin ang Good Vibes ngayong Kapaskuhan.

Nawa'y lahat tayo'y maging masaya sa mga susunod na bukas!!!

Dec 8, 2010


If there’s one thing that Engel is not comfortable in, it’s dealing with exes. As much as possible he does not want to be dealing with them. They’re bitter. They compete. They remind you of your past mistakes.

Last Sunday, Engel went to Marikina to meet up with his old friends when lo and behold the first person to greet him in the city is the one person he wants to be avoiding. Cedric, the good time guy.

Cedric was the subordinate when Engel was still a Supervisor. They would sneak off in the middle of the shift to make out in his apartment. He was the ex, who was just all about the sex. Well, to be honest, the sex was great. But he also made Engel one of his male mistresses. Engel was number three. So it did not work out. Now, the good time guy is an indie film actor.

He was with number one. When their eyes met, the good time guy’s eyes widened. It could be surprise. Or shock. He certainly did not expect to bump into Engel that day.

Engel can only say hi. And fake a smile.

The ex greeted him. It was an awkward moment. Engel noticed the ex immediately grabbed his current’s hand. The ex mouthed ‘my boyfriend’ to Engel while pointing at the current.

Engel nodded.

Out of nowhere, the ex grabbed his current’s face and gave him a wet one. Then they left.

Okay, Engel thought. That was mature. It immediately reminded him how bad the relationship was. As awesome as the sex was, the relationship was equally bad.

Engel smirked. In his mind, he felt bad for the current. He was old, bald, and Engel is pretty sure that Cedric’s cheating on him. Thank God, Engel’s grown up and chose better.



Can’t live with them.

And they just won’t go away.

But then again, Engel is somebody's ex too.

Dec 6, 2010


Noong nakaraang mga taon, meron akong pakulo dito na tinatawag kong, Battle of the Sexes. Dito pinagsasabong ko kung sino nga ba ang mas magaling, ang mga babae o ang mga lalake? Marami akong natutunan noon, lalo na sa sarili ko. Kung gaano ako kababaw, at kung gaano kadami ang hindi ko nalalaman tungkol sa buhay.

Tutal bagong taon na at bagong henerasyon na ngayon ng mga manunulat ang nagkalat sa world wide web, naisip ko, kung may nagbago nga ba sa paningin ng mga tao tungkol sa ilang aspeto ng mundo. Unahin natin ang blogging.

Nagmature na nga ba ang mga manunulat? Sino ang mas magaling, mga babaeng bloggers o mga lalakeng bloggers?

- Maraming blog na sulat ng mga lalake ang masarap basahin kasi relevant. Maraming makabayan, pero magaan basahin, hindi nakakatamad.
- Karamihan sa mga lalakeng blogger eh creative. Kanya-kanyang gimik sa pagsusulat na hindi nakakasawang balikan.
- Kapag ang lalakeng blogger nagsulat ng post na may puso, talagang maaapektuhan ka. Rare lang ang lalakeng nagsusulat ng may puso.
- Ang lalake kapag nagsusulat, madalas KISS (Keep It Short and Sweet).
- Madalas ang mga blog ng mga lalake nakakatawa. Pantanggal stress.

- Ang kaso lang, ang daming blog na naglipana na clone ni Bob Ong.
- Pag nakakahanap ka ng mga nag-aaway sa blogosperyo... madalas ito'y sa pagitan ng dalawang lalakeng bloggers.
- Hindi mo alam kung sinong lalakeng blogger ang tunay na lalake.
- Ang daming blog ng mga lalake, walang kwenta... ginagawa lang ang blog na business.
- Mga lalakeng blogger ang nagkakalat ng mga tag na post. Minsan wala ring kwenta.
- Kapag ang lalakeng blogger nag-emo, mas malala pa sa mga babae. Yung tipong iaannounce na sila ay suicidal. Eh ang babaw lang naman ng dahilan ng pagiging emo nila.

- Ang mga babaeng blogger, pag nagsusulat nararamdaman mo talaga ang mga emosyon nila.
- Napakacreative ng mga babaeng bloggers, lalo na sa paggawa ng mga tula.
- Hindi man marami, pero kapag ang isang babaeng blogger nagpatawa. Iba. Kakaiba ang comedic timing ng babaeng blogger.
- Marami kang matututunan sa paghandle ng mga relasyon mula sa mga babaeng blogger.
- Generally, ang mga babae, pag nagbablog dahil alam mong matalino sila, at ang mga sinusulat nila, it makes sense. Naiintindihan mo ang punto nila.

- Kaya lang, ang mga babae pag nagsulat NOBELA!!! Ang haba.
- Kung gusto mong madepress, magbasa ka ng blog ng babae, dahil madalas puros reklamo o problema ang sinusulat nila.
- Kung lalakeng blogger ka, mahihirapan kang makarelate sa ibang blog ng babae, dahil puros kakikayan lang ang nakasulat sa mga blog nila.
- Maraming nanay na blogger na ginagawang business ang blog nila. Magpopost ng mga picture ng anak nila, tapos yung sunod na post, yung binebenta nila.
- Kung ang mga lalake ang nagkakalat ng mga tags, ang mga babae kadalasan ang gumagawa nito.

O ayan, general observation ko lang yan. Agree kayo? Disagree? Ipaalam ninyo. Discuss.

Dec 4, 2010


Mangunguna na akong magpost ng year end report card ko. Ayokong makisabay sa ibang magsusulat ng ganito towards the end of the year. Gusto ko ako nangunguna, para di gaya-gaya.

Last year, around this time din ako nagpost ng katulad na artikulo. Sa tingin ko naman, medyo pasado ako this year.

Tingnan natin.

CAREER 85% (2009 - 80%)
Noong isang taon, lumipat ako ng Operating Unit, at nanibago sa pagbabalik call center schedule na kinamuhian ko noong 2003. Sa awa ng Diyos, nakapagadjust na yung katawan ko sa ganitong pamumuhay.

Pero ang dahilan kung bakit tumaas ng bahagya ang score ko dito sa aspeto ng buhay ko ngayong taon ay dahil napromote ako. Unofficially, dalawang beses ako napromote ngayong taon. Pero officially isa lang. Kaya di pa masyadong kanais-nais ang sweldo ko hanggang ngayon.

Lumipat ako ng team, gitna ng taon at bago na ang aking mga responsibilidad. Leaning towards IT ang trabaho ko. Masakit sa ulo. Pero magandang training ground, kung sakaling naisin kong lumipat ng ibang trabaho. Kaakit-akit na ngayon ang CV ko.

Madaming isyu. Hindi naman mawawala sa trabaho yan. Pero ang iniisip ko na lang,may binubungang maganda naman lahat ng ginagawa ko. Kailangan lang talagang habaan ang pasensya ko.

SOCIAL LIFE 79% (2009 – 75%)
In fairness, kahit panggabi na ako ngayon, medyo mas nakaparty naman ako ngayon. Nasusulit lahat ng leave na kinukuha ko sa trabaho di gaya ng dati.

Hindi ko masyadong tinaasan ang grado ko dito, kasi ang nakakalungkot ay kahit may pagkagimikero ako this year, eh hindi ko masyadong nakikita yung barkada ko. May sari-sarili na talaga kaming mga buhay, at mahirap nang magschedule ng mga meet-ups di gaya dati. Tumatanda na talaga kami. Hay.

Anyway, marami na rin akong bagong kaibigan. Dahil nga palipat-lipat na ako ng team (parang pokpok lang ako sa opisina), nakakakilala ng mga bagong teammates. At swerteng gimikero ang bago kong mga kasama. Nakakakain kami sa labas. Nood ng sine. At for the first time, sasama na ako this year sa Christmas Party ng kumpanya. Pitong taon na akong nagtatrabaho, ngayon pa lang akong makakadalo sa isang company Christmas Party (nakapagregister na kasi ako, at may fine pag di ka dumalo).

Meron pang isang dahilan, kaya tumaas ang grado ko sa Social Life. Pero sa ibang kategorya ko na ipapaliwanag.

LOVE LIFE 100% (2009 – 76%)
Hindi ko nanaman siguro kailangang ipaliwanag kung bakit pasado at with flying colors pa ang marka ko dito sa kategoryang ito, ano?

Kinikilig ako. Hihihihi.

Yuck. Ang cheesy.

BLOG LIFE 96% (2009 – 90%)
In fairness sa Gillboard, ngayong 2010 hindi ako nag blog hiatus. Hindi ko rin naman kayang panindigan yun kung sakaling mag-announce nanaman ako na titigil magsulat. Tuwing ginagawa ko yun, lalo lang akong sinisipag magsulat. Tapos ngayong mga araw, dalawang blog pa ang minemaintain ko at pareho silang aktibo. Siguro naman, sapat nang dahilan yun para itaas ang score ko.

At isa pang dahilan kaya mataas ang grado ko dito ay ngayong taon, sangkaterbang mga bloggers ang nakilala ko ng personal. Finally.

Limang taon na akong nagsusulat at nagbabasa sa mundong ito kaya tama lang siguro na makakilala naman ako ng mga naging kaibigan ko dito.

Ngayong taon nakakilala ako ng mahigit 30 bloggers. Sina Ternie, Xtian, Maxwell, Lukayo, Johnny Cursive, Mark, Sensei Jery, Citybuoy, Kane, Darc Diarist, Popoy Inosentes, Chingoy, Ahmer, Gasoline Dude, Wandering Tsinelas, Scud, Jepoy, Maldito, Dorm Boy, Efbee, Beero, Bulagspot, Lethalverses, Sosyalera, RF, Boris at noong Miyerkules, si Raft3r.

Sigurado ako, sa susunod na taon, marami pa akong makikilala.

Dalawang magkaibang mundo ang pinagsusulatan ko, at nakakatuwang marami akong nakilala at tumanggap sa akin sa dalawang mundong ito. Ngayon, masasabi ko nang marami na akong hindi lang online friends, kundi real life friends pa.

Ang mga meet-ups na ito din ang dahilan kung bakit tumaas ang Social Life score ko.

SAVINGS 70% (2009 – 70%)
Wala yatang pag-asa na tumaas ito. Ang hirap talagang mag-ipon.

Subconsciously siguro, iniisip ko hindi naman ako magkakaroon ng pamilya kaya wala akong pinag-iipunan. O sadyang maluho lang talaga ako.

Ngayong taon, nakabili ako ng Playstation 3. Medyo cute na Philips mp3 player na nasira kaagad. Kinumpleto ko ang buong series na The Walking Dead. Bilang tulong na rin sa isang kaibigan, binili ko sa kanya ang binenta niyang sapatos at relos, kahit alam kong tinubuan niya ito ng slight.

At syempre pa, magastos makipagdate. Pero since mahal ko naman siya, sulit naman yun.

Tatanggapin ko na lang siguro na matagal pa bago tumaas ang score ko dito.

HEALTH 70% (2009 – n/a)
Hindi talaga lahat binibigay ni Lord. Marami man akong nakuhang magaganda ngayong taon, meron pa ring ipagkakait sa akin.

Ngayong taon, nagkamigraine ako. Nilagnat. Nagkaroon ng kidney stones. At muntik magkadengue.

Ang healthy healthy ko!!! Kaya hindi ako pumapayat eh.

AVERAGE 83.33% (2009 – 78.2%)
Pasado ako ngayong taon. Pero hindi naman dapat magrelax relax. Yung mga bagsak kong marka, eh bagsak talaga. Susubukan kong itaas ang grado sa mga ito sa 2011.

Sana makatulong ang planner na nakuha ko sa Starbucks kanina. Wala lang. Excited.

Kayo, ano grade niyo ngayong 2010?

Dec 3, 2010


Tis the season of emoness, depression and suicidal tendencies... It’s Christmas once again!!!

This would be the second holiday season I’d be spending as a half of a couple, my first time as an adult. I really have a lot to say about it, but I think the few people who still find time to read my blog, amongst the hundreds of brilliant personal blogs these days, are already getting sick of my posting cheesy write-ups.

If there’s one thing I’m proud about my blogs, it’s that I rarely post emo crap in it. I’m not a big fan of emo posts. Unless I know the writer personally, I have low tolerance on depressing things. I’m a believer that there are better things to do to overcome it than just writing about it.

It’s fine writing one every once in awhile. But NOT. Every. Fucking. Time.

My take on that, is these people don’t know how to appreciate the little good things in life. It’s really pathetic. That’s why I hate it when I write these kinds of posts.

This post was supposed to be about positivity. I got carried away on my intro. When the year started, one of my resolutions for 2010 is to change perspective in some aspects of life. A positive outlook does great things. Pragmatists might find it a big load of crap. But if you truly believe in it, eventually these become truths.

Anyway, I think a great number of people who get depressed during the holiday season are those who are still single. Or the poor. Oh, and at least for this year, the people near Mt. Bulusan. So before I move away again from what I’m supposed to write here’s my point: nothing’s going to happen if you’re too pessimistic. You have to do something.

At the very least change how you view things.

· Say if you’re single, at least you’ll have more budget for yourself.
· Or at least no one’s going to force you to watch that cheesy Filipino film entry in the filmfest.
· And you can flirt with others without worrying of being called a cheating whore. Just a whore.
· For those who don’t have money, think of it this way, at least you can finally start the diet you’ve been promising to start a few years ago.
· Or since you’ll be stuck at home, you can now start bonding with your family.
· Or at least you can make your own gift to give to others, and tell them as simple as it is, it came from the heart.
· If you’re disagreeing with your parents, think of it as an opportunity for you to finally become independent.

Again, my point is to stop sulking and complaining. Do something about it.

Dec 1, 2010


Disyembre na. Aside sa malapit na ang Pasko, ibig sabihin din nito ay malapit nang matapos ang taon.

Isa sa mga pakulo ko dito sa aking mumunting tahanan ay ang magpost ng mga Best of The Year awards. Dahil excited ako, at wala gaanong maisulat. Naisip kong ipost ang mga nominees sa mga categories na pinaparangalan ko.

Ang mga mananalo ay gagawaran ko sa pagtatapos ng taon, bilang huling post ko.

Patikim lang ito. Mga nominado.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows
How To Train Your Dragon
Kick Ass
Scott Pilgrim Vs The World
Toy Story 3

Miss You Like Crazy
My Amnesia Girl

Fallout New Vegas
Halo Reach
Mass Effect 2
Red Dead Redemption

Big Bang Theory
How I Met Your Mother
Shit My Dad Says
The Walking Dead

Juanita Banana
Pilipinas Got Talent
Wala akong naabangang teleserye ngayong taon. :(

Bruce Wayne Returns
Siege of Asgard
The Deaths of Nightcrawler and Cable
The Temptation of Daredevil
The Thanos Imperative
Wolverine Goes to Hell

American Vampire
Invincible Iron Man
The Walking Dead

Club Can’t Handle Me
I Love The Way You Lie
Just The Way You Are
Teenage Dream

Anything Willie Revillame
Congressman Manny Pacquiao
First Ever Automated Philippine Election
Lotto Jackpot Winner of 700+ Million Pesos
President Noynoy Aquino

Dong Ho’s Eskapo
No Spam No Virus No Kiddin’!
Pluma ni Jepoy
Prinsesa’s Anatomy
Sunny Starfish
Teacher’s Pwet
The Deadbeat Club (wag ka magrequest ng ‘and’ dahil alphabetical order ‘to)
The Gasoline Dude’s Life
The Great Maldito

Hindi pa ito final. Di pa tapos ang taon. Malay natin kung may humabol na mga mahuhusay pang mga pelikula, palabas, blogger o kung ano man bago magtapos ang taon. May tatlumpung araw pa ngayong Disyembre.

Kung may nakaligtaan ako, sabihin ninyo, baka yung nakalimutan ko, yun pa yung deserving manalo.

Nov 30, 2010


Last week, because I had too much time to spare and a little budget to spend, I decided to see My Amnesia Girl.

It is a typical Filipino romcom whose ending was ruined because someone thought they didn’t want the ending to be cliché. Anyway, I’m not going to rant about the film because even with the crappy ending, I still liked it.

It’s really not the film that I wanted to talk about. But there was something about the story that made me ponder.

Is there anything or anyone that happened or came to my life that I wanted to forget?

Unlike Irene (Toni Gonzaga), I haven’t been left standing alone on the altar by my groom. But there are certain things in my life that I know I’d have done without.


Embarrassing moments.


Bad decisions.

I’m not young anymore. I’ve made a lot of bad choices, and there are times I’d wish I could forget all of them. The saying that those things make you better persons in the end sometimes you’d think its crap. You know you’d still be a better person even if your paths haven’t crossed.

There are a couple of things I wanted to forget. Stupid people and wrong choices. But I guess I have to live with it.

How about you, is there anything/anyone you want to forget?


Dahil medyo nabawasan ang pagkalalake ko dun sa huling post (na hanggang ngayon ay kinikilig pa rin ako), medyo ililihis ko muna ang aking mga kwento ngayon.

Mabilisan lang. Walang kilig-kilig muna. Baka isipin niyo bading ako. Hehehehe

Noong nakaraang linggo ay anim na araw ang bakasyon ko.

Akala ko makakatipid ako, isang malaking pagkakamali. Mas lalo akong napagastos. Yung akala kong matitipid ko sa isang linggong pahinga, eh ang ginastos ko ay parang nagtrabaho ako ng tatlong linggo.

Madami naman akong napanuod. Eto ang pellet reviews ko.

Saw VII: Bayolente sana, kaya lang di naman pinakita yung mga nakakadiring part. Nambitin lang. Walang kwenta. 6/10

My Amnesia Girl: Maganda sana. Kung hindi lang dinagdagan ng sampung minuto yung ending. Pero nakakakilig siya. Nakakatuwa si JLC at Toni. 8.5/10

Unstoppable: Maingay. Isa lang yung namatay. Pero medyo maganda naman siya kesa Saw. 7.5/10

Takers: The best movie… para matulog. 5.5/10

Noong nakaraang weekend din, ay may nameet akong dalawang low profile bloggers. Wala lang.

Si RF, na balikbayan mula Amerika. Natutuwa ako sa mga kwento niya, at bilib ako sa kanya dahil kinaya niyang mamuhay ng mag-isa malayo sa mga kamag-anak, mga kaibigan, at sa sibilisasyon.

Nakakatuwa dahil ang aliw ng mga kwento niya. Mantakin mong, dun pa siya natutong magbisikleta. Tinuruan siya ng asawa ng boss niya. At pumunta siya sa Amerika para magtrabaho ng night shift. Kunsabagay, kung dito sa Pilipinas yun, malamang dayshift ang trabaho niya.

At ang pinakagusto ko sa meet-up na iyon, ay dahil binigay niya sa akin yung hiningi kong pasalubong sa kanya mula Amerika. Hehehe. Thank you RF sa maagang pamasko!!!

Si Boris naman yung isang nakilala ko noong Sabado na nanggaling pa ng Quezon. Niclaim niya yung kalahati ng napanalunan niya sa pacontest ko (kasi di pa dumarating yung order ko na power balance) kaya free lunch muna. Yung sa ibang mga nanalo, iemail ko kayo or imessage ko sa facebook kung kelan.

Naaliw din ako sa kanya dahil ang pino niyang magtagalog. Yung tipong, ako’y nagagayak na ika’y makilala. Wala nang nagsasalita ng ganyan ngayon. Tapos pinakita niya ang kanyang mga doodles. Pero mas naging interesado ako sa mga kumento sa mga doodles na yun. Sino si monkey?! Yiiiiiiiii.

Tapos kahapon, habang nag-iinternet ako. Lumapit ang nanay ko.

Nanay: Anak, ano yung twitter. Meron daw kasi si Ate ano mo…
Ako: Wag mo sabihin gusto mong mag-open ng twitter?
Nanay: Di naman. Gusto ko lang makita kung ano yun.
Ako: Weh, pasimple ka pa. Wala nga ako nun. Baka bukas lang malaman ko meron ka na niyan.
Nanay: Parang facebook ba yan? Kasi, kung ganun, iopen mo naman ako…
Ako: Ayoko. Wala nga ako nun.
Nanay: Sige na nga, kay ate ano mo na lang ako magpapaturo.

Kinamusta ko kanina si nanay tungkol sa twitter. Ayaw na daw niya. Di siya natuwa dahil wala naman daw mga pictures gaya ng sa facebook. Tamad kasi yun magbasa. Puros pictures lang tinitingnan.

Magpapasko na pala.

Disyembre na bukas.

May regalo na ba kayo sa akin? :P

Nov 27, 2010


Response ko to sa sinulat ni Gillboard nung October 5, 2010 about our relationship. Dahil ayaw nya yung una kong prinopose na entry na “Rationalizing Homosexuality”—kasi medyo malalim yung argumentations—naisipan ko nalang sabihin sa inyo yung naging istorya namin sa mas simple pero nakakakilig na paraan. Naks.

October, 2009 (Last Week)

Noong una ko siyan nakilala, plano kong i-good-time yung kabarkada kong lalaki non kasi stupid sya at alam naming may bahid sya ng kabadingan.

Ganto yung plano:

1. Magpapakilala ako bilang ‘Peter’— yung name ng kabarkada ko.

2. Papa-in-love-in ko si Gillboard gamit yung identity ni ‘Peter’.

3. Papa-meet ko si Peter sa kanya.

4. Tapos ayun, ikakalat ko sa barkada.

Pero iba yung nangyari, kasi ako yung nabakla. Sabi ko pa non, “curious lang ako, pero pano mo nalamang bading ka?” Ganon naman daw lagi yung umpisa non, gagamitin mo yung concept of curiosity para di masyadong obvious na uhaw ka sa impormasyon. Dahil sa loob ng utak mo, di lang yun yung gusto mong malaman.

Buong gabi kaming nag-usap. Kung san-san napunta yung topic. Nag-umpisa sa sexuality, then sa sex, then sa mga balakin sa buhay, then sa pagsabing “baka magustuhan kita”.

Inumpisahan ko yung sumunod na umaga sa pag-aming hindi ako si Peter. Humingi ako ng tawad at binigay naman nya. Worth it kasi syang kaibiganin; at dahil alam kong di tamang manloko ng tao.

October to December (First Week)

Araw-araw kami magkausap non sa cellphone. Trip kong kausap sya habang kinukwento ko yung mga katarantaduhan ko nung high school. Aliw sya pag kumakanta ako sa cellphone, pag-nag-jo-joke ako, at kahit kapag kinukuwento ko kung gano ka-inconvenient ang online enlistment sa school namin.

Medyo weird na isipin pero sa bawat oras na magka-usap kami sa cellphone, parang nagiging masaya ako. Iba yung feeling pag kausap ko si Gillboard. Para ko na syang kuya, hindi tito pala kasi medyo malayo nga agwat ng age namin. PEACE!

Isang araw, sabi nya may bf daw sya. Sabi ko ok. Sabi nya magagalit daw ba ako. Sabi ko hindi bakit naman. Sabi nya ok. Sabi ko ok...

Pero hindi ok. Pero wala rin naman sa lugar kung magalit ako. Steady lang. Freudian yung feeling ko non kasi huhugutin mo sa sub-conscious yung tinge of envy kahit alam mong illogical na gawin yon. Kaya hinayaan ko na. Friends lang naman kami.

Tapos tumakbo yung mga araw at parang walang nag-iba sa closeness namin. Minsan iniisip ko kung may bf ba talaga sya o ginu-good-time lang nya ako. Usually kasi ganto yung usapan:

9:00 am, kagagaling lang ni Gillboard sa trabaho...

Ako: Oh, ano ginawa nyo ngayon?

Sya: Ayun, nagbreakfast lang sa Jollibee then umuwi na.

Ako: Ah, ano pa?

Sya: Wala na.

Pagkatapos non e magkukwento na ko sa mga nangyari sakin sa inuman, sa gimik, sa school, etc. Basta kahit anong maikuwento, ikukwento ko kasi ayokong ma-bore sya.

December, 2009 (Second Week)

Pag kausap ko siya, masaya ako. Pag kasama ko yung gf ko, nabwibwisit ako. Siguro kasi di na rin kami ok nung gf ko. Parang iniintay nalang namin ang confession of sentiments para matuldukan na rin yung ilang buwan na lokohan at tiisan.

Start ng December non nung sinabi niya na break na sila ng bf nya. Hindi ko maintindihan yung pakiramdam ko non habang binabalita nya sakin yung nangyari.

Palyado ako sa Semiotics nung first sem kaya di ko masyadong naintindihan yung message na gustong sabihin ni Gillboard. Nag-break kayo, o tapos? Dapat ba akong matuwa? Matakot? Mainis? Maasar?

Don ko lang napagtantong mas lumalim na nga ang mga pangyayari. Di man nya aminin, alam kong ako ang dahilan ng break-up nila. Ako naman, hindi malaman kung anong emosyon ang akmang hugutin para ibato pabalik sa kanya. Logical na matuwa, kasi alam mong mahal ka na nya, pero may gf ako, at lalaki siya, gaya ko.

Identity crisis yung problema ko. Kasi alam ko kung ano yung tama. Yung tama e yung magmahal ng taong kaiba sa kasarian mo. Kasi ayun yung natural. Yung natural e yung sunurin mo ang iniukit sa sistema mo. At sa pagsunod sa kanaturalan ng pagkatao mo e naitatama mo ang sarili mo.

Naniniwala akong lahat ng bagay na nangyayari sa buhay ng tao e gawa ng mga desisyong pinili nya. At sa pagkakaalam ko, hindi naiiba ang isyu ng sekswalidad don. Kung bakla ka, ayun ay dahil pinili mong maging bakla.

Pero ayokong maging bakla kahit alam kong bakla ako. Kasi alam kong ayun ang tama.

Kaya nung gabing yon nung December, masakit man para sa aming dalawa, pinili kong iwanan sya. Kahit alam kong masakit; at kahit alam kong mahal ko na sya.

January to March, 2010

Sinimulan ko yung taon nang may bagong perspective sa buhay. Masyadong ginusot ni Gillboard yung mga huling buwan ng 2009, kaya ngayon taon, sabi ko sa sarili ko e mag-aayos na ko.

Pero surpresang di naayos ang lahat. Nag-break kami nang tuluyan ng girlfriend ko. At shit, namimiss ko siya! Iba na kasi yung pakiramdam na wala sya. Parang hindi na ako kumpleto.

Kaya nong March bumalik ako bilang isang kaibigan. Kung tatanungin nyo kung binalak kong ma-in-love muli sa kanya, hindi. Simple ang dahilan ko: ayoko na syang saktan.

Ngunit parang di ganon yung nangyari. Na-in-love ako ulit sa kanya. Tanda ko non, kapag nasa smoket ako o nasa korean restaurant at kasama ko ang mga kabarkada ko, bigla ko silang iiwanan para lang makapag-usap kami. Ganon siya ka-espesyal sakin. Masakit kasi di ko yon kayang sabihin sa kanya.

May, 2010 (Third Week)

Matapos ang ilang buwang puno ng usapan, nahanap ko muli ang sarili ko sa parehong dilemma nung isang taon. Pero dahil nga ayoko nang saktan si Gillboard, di ko na binalak pang aminin sa kanya kung gano ko na sya kamahal.

Pero parang mas nasaktan ko pa sya nung mga sumunod na pangyayari. Tuesday ata yun nung naisipan kong uminom kasama yung mga kaibigan ko. Kahit alam kong may final reporting kami sa Philosophy class the next day, e pinili ko pa ring magpakalasing kasi nagpapa-impress ako sa babaeng kasama namin.

May nangyari samin nung babae at napaka-estupidong sa kanya ko unang nakwento ang lahat. Pagkatapos non nag-send sya ng message na nakapagpabago ng pananaw ko sa kanya at sa sarili ko...

Sabi ni Gillboard e tinanong daw sya ng kaibigan nya kung worth daw ba lahat ng pinagdadaanan nya sa akin, sabi nya oo. Apparently, hindi naging worth it ang lahat dahil niloko ko sya.

Dahil nakasanayan ko nang tumakbo matapos makagawa ng gulo, sinabi ko sa kanya isang araw na handa na kong lumayo. Nakakagulat lang na parang alam na rin niya na don magtatapos ang lahat: ako tatakbo at sya madidismaya.

Sabado non nung hindi ako makatiis at tinext ko sya. Ilang araw na rin ang lumipas matapos akong magpaalam sa kanya. Sa mga pagkakataong iyon, wala akong ibang gusto kundi plantsahin ko na lahat ng pagkakamali ko sa kanya. Para at least kung mag-bye-bye na kami e di na sya ganon kaasar sakin.

May 24, 2010

Matapos ang ilang oras ng iyakan at ilang futile attempts para magpaalam, pinili kong manatili sa buhay nya. At tuluyang naging kami.

Noong gabing yon, nalaman kong nakabase ang kaligayahan ng tao sa kung pano nya tatanggapin ang kanyang sarili. At wala nang mas tatama pa sa pagkilos nang naaayon sa pagkatao mo. Sabi nga ni Aquinas: ‘Agere sequitur esse’ o ‘action follows being’.

Pagdating sa pag-ibig, mas importanteng tanggap nyo muna ang sarili nyo bago kayo magmahal. Dahil sa puntong yon nyo lamang nalalaman kung ano ang kaya nyong maibigay para sa kapareha. Kaya nga lagi kong sinasabi kay Gillboard, ang favourite kong quote about love e yung ginagamit sa Philo, kasi yun yung pinakatotoo: “Love is the recognition of otherness”.

Alam kong tama ang desisyon kong mahalin siya dahil pinagbubuti ako ng relasyon namin. Siguro nga dapat ko pa syang pasalamatan dahil mas lalo akong naging mature. At lagi kong sinasabi sa kanyang kasama na sya sa malalaking plano ko sa buhay, at di na magbabago yon.

Kaya naman gusto kong tapusin tong entry na to sa pagsabing siya ang pinakamagandang nangyari sa buhay ko. Natutuwa akong maraming nagmamahal sa taong pinakamamahal ko.

Ayun na. Tapos na. Inuman na!


Kaya mahal ko yung nagsulat niyan. Hay.

Nov 24, 2010


1 - ang binili kong pabango ngayong taon (huhuhu)
2 - ang natitirang active blog ko
4 - episodes na ang pinapalabas sa The Walking Dead (6 episodes lang yun... nood na kayo!!!)
5 - taon ng blogging ni Gillboard
6 - ang bilang ng buwan nina Gibo at Kasintahan (happy monthsary today!!!)
8 - ang bilang ng agwat ng edad namin ni Kasintahan
15 - bilang ng aking mga inaanak ko (8 lang ang makakakuha ng regalo sa Pasko)
16 - titles ng comics na binibili ko buwan-buwan (kelangang bawasan)
20 - edad ni Kasintahan
28 - edad ko
173 - bilang ng nakarating sa blog ko sa pagsearch ng free sex video of tita at pamangking lalaki
220 - bilang ng pera na laman ng wallet ni Gibo
500 - bilang ng post dito sa blog ko
1384 - ang napunta sa blog ko galing sa Asian Porn DVD site
5000 - budget ko para sa mga nanalo sa pacontest ko (kaya sumipot kayo!!! oo ikaw yun Boris :p)
7500 - ginastos ko para makahabol sa The Walking Dead comics
13566 - ang profile views ni gibo
69191 - page views ng gillboard (kalahati nun sa akin)

500 posts. Dapat natutuwa ako. Well, masaya naman ako ngayon. Lalo pa't monthsary namin ngayon (ayaw nga lang icelebrate ni kasintahan... di daw dapat kami nagbibilang).

Nabuburaot lang ako, dahil yung mga pinamili kong panregalo, pinamigay ng nanay ko kung kani-kanino. Bwiset... So yung walong inaanak kong makakatanggap ng regalo sa pasko, anim na lang.

Nov 22, 2010


Merong mga panahon na gusto nating bumalik sa pagkabata. Sino nga ba naman ang ayaw nun? Mababaw pa ang kaligayahan natin. Hindi tayo nadedepress kapag wala tayong pera. Ayos lang na single tayo. Hindi uso yang mga quarter-life at half-life bullshit. At ang pinakamalaking problema lang natin eh kung pano takasan yung pagtulog sa hapon para maglaro sa kalsada.

Pero looking back, marami rin akong ipinagpapasalamat na matanda na ako. Ganito kasi yun, isa akong batang jologs noon. Batang kalye. Basang sisiw pag tag-ulan. Pwedeng bata sa commercial ng Tide kapag may field trip. At hari ng kakengkoyan. In short abnormal na bata.
  • Hindi ako marunong magsuklay.... hanggang high school.
  • Tuwing may lakad outside school, isa lang ang get-up ko... Lolo polo tsaka faded maong.
  • Namumulot ako ng upos ng yosi tapos titikman.
  • Mahilig ako mamulot ng echas ng aso para ipatikim sa mga kalaro.
  • Boses babae ako pag kumakanta... pagnagduduet kami pinsan ko, ako daw si Princess Jasmin, tapos si Aladdin yung ate ko!!!
  • Hangga't di nasisira yung sapatos ko, hindi ako mabibilhan ng bago.
  • Sobrang salbahe ko noong bata ako... lalo na sa mga kuting...
  • Palagi akong una sa pila ng mga pelikulang gaya ng Haba Baba Doo, Puti Puti Pooh, Tong Tatlong Tatay kong Pakitong Kitong, Petrang Kabayo, Roller Boys, at kung ano pang jologs na pelikula noong 90s.
  • Memorize ko ang lahat ng version ng Ikaw Pa Rin (Sai gono iwaki, my one and only...)
  • Dumaan ako sa stage na isang linggong bahag ng igorot lang ang suot ko, wala nang iba.
  • Kamukha ko si Einstein sa grad pic ko noong Grade 6.
  • Nag-aaral ako ng Math!!!
  • Dahil tatanga-tanga, laging sinasalo ng mukha ko ang kamao, goma, at bala ng airsoft ng mga kalaro ko.
  • Lahat ng t-shirt na panlakad ko, hanggang tuhod ang haba. Panlakad ko yung mula Grade 5 hanggang 3rd year high school.
  • Isa akong malaking sinungaling NOONG bata pa ako.
  • Mahilig ako sumama magcaroling sa mga batang 4-6 years old kahit 10 na ako, para ako lagi may pinakamalaking hati ng napagcarolingan.
  • Ipinapangako ako ng nanay ko sa mga anak na babae ng mga amiga niya, na yung iba, sana ngayon ay tinotohanan nila!!!

Meron talagang mga bagay na ayaw ko nang balikan, kahit kailan!!!


Reposting because my mind's on complete shutdown.