I've been hearing this question thrown out by alot of people lately, so I think it's just high time that I write about it here. Yeah, this is another one of those 'singles' post, but I'm not emo or anything. I'm still okay with my status. My happiness is not dependent on whether I'm single, in a relationship, married or 'it's complicated'. But this post is not about me. I've talked about myself too much already it's nauseating.
So anyway, earlier I was texting with my friend, and she asked me why she still hasn't found the one. And it made me think... she is a very pretty girl. She's smart, funny and yeah, she's got like more than half of what I think what men are looking for in a woman. But she's still single. I told her, she's still young, there's still alot of time to find the right man. But the question still lingered in my tired and sleepless mind.
Why are some people having a hard time finding the one?
1. YOU'VE GOT HIGH STANDARDS
Maybe you're looking for someone who's a rich, famous, good looking and smart man or a beautiful, athletic, caring and sexy woman. Reality check, it's very rare that anyone's got everything that you're looking for in a partner. They'll always have flaws. And if there is anyone at all like that who exists. Chances are they may not be looking for someone like you. Don't set your standards too high, because in one way or another, the person you're looking for may not exist, and you'll end up with nothing. Try a girl who accepts you for who you are, or a guy who makes you laugh. There's nothing wrong with having an ideal partner. Just make sure that they're real.
2. YOU'RE LOOKING AT THE WRONG PLACES
I highly doubt you'll find the love of your life in the chatroom. If you're a girl looking for a man who'd like to just stay with you at home and endure cheesy movie marathons, you won't find him in a club. If you're a guy looking for a girl who'd rock your world in the bedroom, the church is not the right place to scan for those kinds of women. Maybe I'm wrong, who knows, but the point is, if you're looking for a partner who has the same interests as yours, try to look for them where they could be found. Befriend a fellow blogger. Introduce yourself to people who works out with you. If you find someone interesting in a forum where you share the same hobbies (ie pinoyexchange), send him/her a personal message.
3. YOU'RE JUST WAITING
For guys, and I think I've said this a thousand times before already, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONE LOOKING! People normally say they'll just wait for love. If someone's meant for you, destiny'll find a way for you two to meet. Yeah, that's very much possible... in the movies!!! Think about this, what if you're waiting for the right one to come... and that person's also waiting for you, are you willing to wait for something that's unlikely to come. Sometimes you have to do something else, if waiting is not working. That's how spinsters became what they are.
4. YOU'VE BEEN STUPID
Maybe you've found the right one, you just let him/her go. We've all made mistakes in our lives, and sometimes the consequence of those mistakes is our special someone. There's nothing wrong with that. But don't let that stop you from looking for the right one. I'm a firm believer that if the two of you are really meant to be, no storm or calamity will prevent you two from being together. Let that mistake be a lesson. Charge it to experience so that when the time comes that you two find each other again, you won't make the same mistake. Unless you're really stupid.
5. YOU DON'T LOVE YOURSELF.
I know most of what I'm saying is cliche. But the thing about cliche is, it's being said again and again because it is true. You'll never be happy with anyone else, if first and foremost you don't love yourself. For one, you will never believe that the person you're with loves you for what you are, because you yourself can't accept that you have faults. If you still have that, you'll never be contented. You'll always look for something more. In short, you're not yet ready that's why you still haven't found her or him.
I honestly believe I'm still not ready. I still have a lot of hangups, but I do love myself. I love myself too much, I'm like narcissistic. Nah just kidding. But seriously, at the moment (as in at THIS moment), I'm not really looking.
So anyway, earlier I was texting with my friend, and she asked me why she still hasn't found the one. And it made me think... she is a very pretty girl. She's smart, funny and yeah, she's got like more than half of what I think what men are looking for in a woman. But she's still single. I told her, she's still young, there's still alot of time to find the right man. But the question still lingered in my tired and sleepless mind.
Why are some people having a hard time finding the one?
1. YOU'VE GOT HIGH STANDARDS
Maybe you're looking for someone who's a rich, famous, good looking and smart man or a beautiful, athletic, caring and sexy woman. Reality check, it's very rare that anyone's got everything that you're looking for in a partner. They'll always have flaws. And if there is anyone at all like that who exists. Chances are they may not be looking for someone like you. Don't set your standards too high, because in one way or another, the person you're looking for may not exist, and you'll end up with nothing. Try a girl who accepts you for who you are, or a guy who makes you laugh. There's nothing wrong with having an ideal partner. Just make sure that they're real.
2. YOU'RE LOOKING AT THE WRONG PLACES
I highly doubt you'll find the love of your life in the chatroom. If you're a girl looking for a man who'd like to just stay with you at home and endure cheesy movie marathons, you won't find him in a club. If you're a guy looking for a girl who'd rock your world in the bedroom, the church is not the right place to scan for those kinds of women. Maybe I'm wrong, who knows, but the point is, if you're looking for a partner who has the same interests as yours, try to look for them where they could be found. Befriend a fellow blogger. Introduce yourself to people who works out with you. If you find someone interesting in a forum where you share the same hobbies (ie pinoyexchange), send him/her a personal message.
3. YOU'RE JUST WAITING
For guys, and I think I've said this a thousand times before already, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONE LOOKING! People normally say they'll just wait for love. If someone's meant for you, destiny'll find a way for you two to meet. Yeah, that's very much possible... in the movies!!! Think about this, what if you're waiting for the right one to come... and that person's also waiting for you, are you willing to wait for something that's unlikely to come. Sometimes you have to do something else, if waiting is not working. That's how spinsters became what they are.
4. YOU'VE BEEN STUPID
Maybe you've found the right one, you just let him/her go. We've all made mistakes in our lives, and sometimes the consequence of those mistakes is our special someone. There's nothing wrong with that. But don't let that stop you from looking for the right one. I'm a firm believer that if the two of you are really meant to be, no storm or calamity will prevent you two from being together. Let that mistake be a lesson. Charge it to experience so that when the time comes that you two find each other again, you won't make the same mistake. Unless you're really stupid.
5. YOU DON'T LOVE YOURSELF.
I know most of what I'm saying is cliche. But the thing about cliche is, it's being said again and again because it is true. You'll never be happy with anyone else, if first and foremost you don't love yourself. For one, you will never believe that the person you're with loves you for what you are, because you yourself can't accept that you have faults. If you still have that, you'll never be contented. You'll always look for something more. In short, you're not yet ready that's why you still haven't found her or him.
I honestly believe I'm still not ready. I still have a lot of hangups, but I do love myself. I love myself too much, I'm like narcissistic. Nah just kidding. But seriously, at the moment (as in at THIS moment), I'm not really looking.
20 comments:
...natahimik... naka-relate... hayz.... luv ur post!... i think tama kah sa mga sinabi moh.... nde koh alam kung ano ihihirit koh... ganda na nang pagkasabi moh sa post... so yeah... ingatz kah.... GODBLESS! -di
oo nga. madalas napagiiwanan ang mga phikan hehe. :)
ay naman!
wala talaga akong masabi pag ganito tema ng entry mo kundi "very well said" haha!
pwde ka ng pamalit kay joe'd mango..lols! love and relationship 101 ba ito?hehe!
sumang ayon ako lahat sa punto mo dito..pramis! keep posting! ^__*
high standards, true. like one forwarded text message says, you can raise the bar all you want but THE ONE for you will always be an exception.
on cliche, yeah. they're not cliches for nothing. they should be coming from somewhere.
and tama, sometimes, tanga lang tayo. haha. andyan na eh, gagaguhin pa. :P
alam mo natameme ako sa post na ito. panalo itong post mo. tagus-tagusan hanggang sa baga ko. lahat applicable sa akin. kaya siguro ganito ako kalungkot sa buhay. i fantasized for the ideal person na hindi ko alam kung nag-eexist ba siya. nice post btw. ^^; bow ako!
salamat sa greetings! happy new year!!
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sumasangayon ako kay jinjiruks.. at bukod pa sa magaling talaga ang pagkasulat, mapapahiya ang mga mediocre article ng fhm at cosmopolitan.
yung number one mo, dapat talaga walang high standards, baka nga di nag-eexist ang ideal person na ito.
at ang sinabi mo about happiness, hindi ito totally relative whether single or taken..state of the mind pa rin ito.
"Aray!"
yun lang. hehehe.
wow joe d mango is that you???
sa #2 meron akong mga kakilala they ended having european husbands dahil sa chat hehe
minsan unexpected tlga
Looks like I'm guilty on all accounts. Except for 5 though. I love myself. I love myself so much I don't need somebody else to love me.
Anyways, man, I don't read Cap America or Daredevil. I want to though. I just don't have enough budget for comics.
hahaha.. as in at this time naghahanap ka? ng ano?
pag-ibig na nman?
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh... sige sige goodluck sa pag-ibig parekoy!
malapit na ang araw ng ga puso!!!
happy valentines!!!
I am looking for my clone, that is why I can't find my fourth. Hehehe.
Seriously, I'd take all the time in the world to find the one closest to my ideal. Bahala na, pero talagang magpapaka-discriminating ako this time.
i'd say you're in the right path. hindi naman talaga hinahanap ang lab ey. kusa itong dumadapo na parang paruparong bukid na lilipad lipad.
teka lang. tumakas na naman yung bait ko sandali. hihi
nasasabi ko yan dahil hindi ko naman talaga hinanap si sarge. kumain ako sa canteen nung nagtataguan kami. kaya ako ang nahanap niya nung kinakagat na siya ng langgam sa pwet doon sa pinagtaguan niya. and we lived hornily ever after. hehe
enjoy your bachelorhood!!!
I agree with your friend... Ganun din kasi ako...
Pero pwede kang maniwala ka sa sinasabi ni Bob Ong...
"Parang elevator lamang iyan, kapag puno na, hindi na talaga pwede pa..."
Or kay Juan Tamad...
"May time na babalik ang elevator na walang laman..."
Hehe!
Happy New Year Gill!
Lets adventure!
True kahit pano may pressure pag single ka pa. Pero tell your friend, walang mali sa knya.
dapat naman tlga maging choosy, else the relationship wont last probably. bsta sbe mo nga be real.
acdg sa 90.7, ang lalakeng gwapo, mayaman, at mabait, ay isang guni-guni lamang.
Ang next mong topic ay "to be or not to be choosy!"
Alavit! :) Nice one gillboard.
may advice ako sayo. grass always looks greener kapag tinitingnan mo ito sa malayo, kaya huwag kang maingget. :) pero kung gusto mong maging abnormal ang buhay mo, sige pasok ka sa industriya. :)
Hmmm... ako naman based on experience eh kapag lalo kang naghahanap, lalo ding hindi dumadating.
Kaya mas maganda siguro kung huwag na lang maghanap. Not necessarily maghihintay, but just go on with life, and live it to its fullest. Tapos kusa na lang 'yan dadating.
Did I found him?
But I was just being stupid? Yeah, I think so too! (lolzzz)
nice post.. i can relate to it.. dunno why but i think it's because of a past relationship that drained the hell out of me and here i am an epitome of emptiness who doesn't know how to love again..
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