Mga Sumasampalataya

Oct 13, 2009

REPOST: WHY YOU HAVEN'T FOUND THE ONE

I've been hearing this question thrown out by a lot of people lately, so I think it's just high time that I write about it here. Yeah, this is another one of those 'singles' post, but I'm not emo or anything. I'm still okay with my status. My happiness is not dependent on whether I'm single, in a relationship, married or 'it's complicated'. But this post is not about me. I've talked about myself too much already it's nauseating.

So anyway, earlier I was texting with my friend, and she asked me why she still hasn't found the one. And it made me think... she is a very pretty girl. She's smart, funny and yeah, she's got like more than half of what I think what men are looking for in a woman. But she's still single. I told her, she's still young, there's still alot of time to find the right man. But the question still lingered in my tired and sleepless mind.

Why are some people having a hard time finding the one?

1. YOU'VE GOT HIGH STANDARDS
Maybe you're looking for someone who's a rich, famous, good looking and smart man or a beautiful, athletic, caring and sexy woman. Reality check, it's very rare that anyone's got everything that you're looking for in a partner. They'll always have flaws. And if there is anyone at all like that who exists. Chances are they may not be looking for someone like you. Don't set your standards too high, because in one way or another, the person you're looking for may not exist, and you'll end up with nothing. Try a girl who accepts you for who you are, or a guy who makes you laugh. There's nothing wrong with having an ideal partner. Just make sure that they're real.

2. YOU'RE LOOKING AT THE WRONG PLACES
I highly doubt you'll find the love of your life in the chatroom. If you're a girl looking for a man who'd like to just stay with you at home and endure cheesy movie marathons, you won't find him in a club. If you're a guy looking for a girl who'd rock your world in the bedroom, the church is not the right place to scan for those kinds of women. Maybe I'm wrong, who knows, but the point is, if you're looking for a partner who has the same interests as yours, try to look for them where they could be found. Befriend a fellow blogger. Introduce yourself to people who works out with you. If you find someone interesting in a forum where you share the same hobbies (ie pinoyexchange), send him/her a personal message.

3. YOU'RE JUST WAITING
For guys, and I think I've said this a thousand times before already, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONE LOOKING! People normally say they'll just wait for love. If someone's meant for you, destiny'll find a way for you two to meet. Yeah, that's very much possible... in the movies!!! Think about this, what if you're waiting for the right one to come... and that person's also waiting for you, are you willing to wait for something that's unlikely to come. Sometimes you have to do something else, if waiting is not working. That's how spinsters became what they are.

4. YOU'VE BEEN STUPID
Maybe you've found the right one, you just let him/her go. We've all made mistakes in our lives, and sometimes the consequence of those mistakes is our special someone. There's nothing wrong with that. But don't let that stop you from looking for the right one. I'm a firm believer that if the two of you are really meant to be, no storm or calamity will prevent you two from being together. Let that mistake be a lesson. Charge it to experience so that when the time comes that you two find each other again, you won't make the same mistake. Unless you're really stupid.

5. YOU DON'T LOVE YOURSELF.
I know most of what I'm saying is cliche. But the thing about cliche is, it's being said again and again because it is true. You'll never be happy with anyone else, if first and foremost you don't love yourself. For one, you will never believe that the person you're with loves you for what you are, because you yourself can't accept that you have faults. If you still have that, you'll never be contented. You'll always look for something more. In short, you're not yet ready that's why you still haven't found her or him.

I honestly believe I'm still not ready. I still have a lot of hangups, but I do love myself. I love myself too much, I'm like narcissistic. Nah just kidding. But seriously, at the moment (as in at THIS moment), I'm not really looking.

26 comments:

Chyng said...

sabe nga ni nicoliyala, ang lalaking mayaman, mabait, faithful at gwapo ay isa lamang guni-guni.

dylan dimaubusan said...

Pwede bang malaman why you're not looking?

Di ko pa rin sya nakikita. Pero lahat ng yan naranasan ko na, the thing is, nalagpasan ko naman na, meaning natutunan ko na. Kaya alam ko makikita ko na sya. Kung pwede nga ngayon na, wahahahaha!

Random Student said...

Honga, mas mainam na may love to give than to be the one na needy for it all the time. Cheers to #5.

Raft3r said...

hehe
there is always an excuse for not finding "the one"

timberboy said...

Whoah!
Couldn't agree more!
You hit the nail on the head!

Mokong™ said...

Gwapo ka nga kung hindi naman marunong rumespeto sa babae... aanhin mo ang itsura kung hindi ka marunong magmahal...yan ang kadalasang hinahanap ng mgagandang babae sa ngayon...

DRAKE said...

Remember that no matter how long we have waited and failed, there will always be someone out there who will love us the way we want to be loved. There is always someone out there whom we can walk with and share our joys with. There is someone meant for us. All we have to do is believe that there is and give ourselves the chance to find it.

PUSANG-gala said...

I say number 3---a very big mistake people make. Seek and ye shall find diba? If you can't wait for the apple to fall, go pick it. dont be lazy. or else you'll end up like many people---singing I KNOW I NEED TO BE IN LOVE, I know i wasted soo much time...la la la....hehe

MarcoPaolo said...

hindi lahat nasa isang tao ang mga katangian na gusto natin.... may kulang talaga... hindi naman perpekto ang lahat!

kaya kung may dumating at kung may napupusuan man tayo...grab it! take the risk... wag matakot na hindi kayo meant sa isa't isa... paano nga naman natin malalaman kung para kayo sa isa't isa kung di susubukan?

Badong said...

I agree totally dun sa number five. as in, super agree, hehe.

wait said...

number #5 <-- its true

…love is like a lost object...
it will show up in the most unexpected way…

pam said...

everything that you've said are definitely right. that someone that we are looking for in our lives is just there, but, you have to do something to be where that person is.

but of course, before doing anything, love yourself first. i am also a great believer of the saying, "you cannot give what you do not have."

by the way, just dropped by. hope i could exchange links with you. thanks. ^_^

The Lady in Green Ruffles said...

waah. you've got a pretty post here. love it! i am a proud member of nbsb maybe because i've got pretty high standards and not that im still waiting but im just going with the flow..come what may..

the donG said...

For guys, and I think I've said this a thousand times before already, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONE LOOKING! >>>> hahahaha... definitely i wont fall under this category.

SCOFIELD JR. said...

siguro the question can be simply answered by this, "hindi k naghahanap"....heheheh

Anyways sumwer on my past, yung #5 kase sa sobrang baet ko(joke lang) di ko alam na marami na pala ang nagkakagusto at nagpapramdam n mga girls sa company namin ( naks! ampude ko ah) nde ko lang alam kung tao ba ito...hehhehe

gud day dude...

iriz said...

usapang singular uli.hehe. minsan kapag ang dami mo nang iniisip at masyadong busy di mo na mamamalayan paggising mo lahat ng tao kundi taken, married. tapos ikaw single pa rin. nasa sayo na lang how will you take it and how will you make use of it.gawin mo lang kung anu gusto mong gawin. go to gym, learn how to cook,learn how to play guitar, keep blogging etc. kc pag dumating cia you have to give him or her much time, may mga bagay ka na na indi magagawa.basta sa ngaun. MABUHAY ANG MGA SINGLE!!!

wait said...

hehe mabuhay ang mga single! Apir dyan! : )

alkapon said...

napanood ko rin yung scaregiver.. nababaduyan ako.

wala na yatang magawang matino ng mga producer at director.

Raft3r said...

but in god's time you will find the one
=)

happy weekend, gillboard!

kosa said...

off topic si alkapon..lols

pero sa post mo parekoy,
nakakatuwang nasapulo mo lahat ng excuses para maging single..lol

hahaha.
isang guni-guni lang pala ang mga taong perpekto.lols
i therefore ocnclude na isa lang din pala akong guni-guni..hakhakhak

noah said...

hi gill.nice post!

anyways, I think I'm done with waiting but still, I'm not doing anything yet to "find" him.
Honestly, I'm 50-50 percent happy I am single, and sad I don't have the one..Right now, I'm still busy and so many things to do.Just like what iriz said, there are things you cannot do anymore when you're with him, so make use of your "single days"..

^_^

gillboard said...

noah: kung nag-eenjoy ka naman sa pagiging single... why look for someone diba? wag pilitin kung di pa time...

kosa: me ganun talaga? hahaha

raft3r: i will... in time... have a great week!!!

alkapon: hehe... sa ibang post ko ata dapat to... pero ok lang.. salamat sa pagbisita!!!

wait: yup, mabuhay!!!

gillboard said...

iriz: amen!!!

scofield: pag handa nako, saka nako maghahanap... hehehe

the dong: bakit naman?

green ruffles: waiting dun sa tao who deserves you, eh?

pam: thanks for the visit... i think naadd ko na blog mo, let me know kung hindi pa... hehe

wait: naks.. gandang comparison.. hehee

gillboard said...

badong: hehe... salamat!!!

marco: kelangan talaga minsan di dapat matakot masaktan kasi worth it naman yung sakit sa saya...

pusang gala: anong kanta yan?

drake: naks ang ganda ng message ah.. salamat!!!

mokong: yun ba, akala ko sense of humor... hehehe pero may tama ka...

gillboard said...

timberboy: thanks.

raft3r: excuse talaga ha... i won't call it excuse... kasi parang nagpapalusot lang... hehehe

random student: couldn't agree more.

dylan: feeling ko kasi, di pako ready... ayusin ko muna buhay ko... baka next year...

chyng: hmmm... sabi ng ex ko perfect ako... nagsisinungaling kaya siya? hehehe

ash said...

6. You're presupposing there'll be a better one the next time around. so you hop off and see if you can claim the next ride.