I've been hearing this question thrown out by a lot of people lately, so I think it's just high time that I write about it here. Yeah, this is another one of those 'singles' post, but I'm not emo or anything. I'm still okay with my status. My happiness is not dependent on whether I'm single, in a relationship, married or 'it's complicated'. But this post is not about me. I've talked about myself too much already it's nauseating.
So anyway, earlier I was texting with my friend, and she asked me why she still hasn't found the one. And it made me think... she is a very pretty girl. She's smart, funny and yeah, she's got like more than half of what I think what men are looking for in a woman. But she's still single. I told her, she's still young, there's still alot of time to find the right man. But the question still lingered in my tired and sleepless mind.
Why are some people having a hard time finding the one?
1. YOU'VE GOT HIGH STANDARDS
Maybe you're looking for someone who's a rich, famous, good looking and smart man or a beautiful, athletic, caring and sexy woman. Reality check, it's very rare that anyone's got everything that you're looking for in a partner. They'll always have flaws. And if there is anyone at all like that who exists. Chances are they may not be looking for someone like you. Don't set your standards too high, because in one way or another, the person you're looking for may not exist, and you'll end up with nothing. Try a girl who accepts you for who you are, or a guy who makes you laugh. There's nothing wrong with having an ideal partner. Just make sure that they're real.
2. YOU'RE LOOKING AT THE WRONG PLACES
I highly doubt you'll find the love of your life in the chatroom. If you're a girl looking for a man who'd like to just stay with you at home and endure cheesy movie marathons, you won't find him in a club. If you're a guy looking for a girl who'd rock your world in the bedroom, the church is not the right place to scan for those kinds of women. Maybe I'm wrong, who knows, but the point is, if you're looking for a partner who has the same interests as yours, try to look for them where they could be found. Befriend a fellow blogger. Introduce yourself to people who works out with you. If you find someone interesting in a forum where you share the same hobbies (ie pinoyexchange), send him/her a personal message.
3. YOU'RE JUST WAITING
For guys, and I think I've said this a thousand times before already, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONE LOOKING! People normally say they'll just wait for love. If someone's meant for you, destiny'll find a way for you two to meet. Yeah, that's very much possible... in the movies!!! Think about this, what if you're waiting for the right one to come... and that person's also waiting for you, are you willing to wait for something that's unlikely to come. Sometimes you have to do something else, if waiting is not working. That's how spinsters became what they are.
4. YOU'VE BEEN STUPID
Maybe you've found the right one, you just let him/her go. We've all made mistakes in our lives, and sometimes the consequence of those mistakes is our special someone. There's nothing wrong with that. But don't let that stop you from looking for the right one. I'm a firm believer that if the two of you are really meant to be, no storm or calamity will prevent you two from being together. Let that mistake be a lesson. Charge it to experience so that when the time comes that you two find each other again, you won't make the same mistake. Unless you're really stupid.
5. YOU DON'T LOVE YOURSELF.
I know most of what I'm saying is cliche. But the thing about cliche is, it's being said again and again because it is true. You'll never be happy with anyone else, if first and foremost you don't love yourself. For one, you will never believe that the person you're with loves you for what you are, because you yourself can't accept that you have faults. If you still have that, you'll never be contented. You'll always look for something more. In short, you're not yet ready that's why you still haven't found her or him.
I honestly believe I'm still not ready. I still have a lot of hangups, but I do love myself. I love myself too much, I'm like narcissistic. Nah just kidding. But seriously, at the moment (as in at THIS moment), I'm not really looking.