Mga Sumasampalataya

Nov 8, 2008


Before I say goodbye, I want you to know how much I loved you. I truly cared.

From the day I met you, I hoped that something will work out between the two of us. I did not expect that I'll fall for you. You're just someone I'm supposed to take care of, professionally. Not once did I suspect that something will creep in me and I'll feel this way.

You've been a good friend. I miss being friends with you. I miss the talks, the movies, the night outs. I miss visiting you unannounced. The long text messaging we do exchanging life experiences and everything. I miss waking up to your sweet friendship quotes, and corny jokes. We've had a few phone conversations, mostly business related, but I cherish all of it.

Remember the time you went to the office to bring me lunch? I've been in relationships before, but that was the sweetest thing anyone's ever did for me. I don't think I'll ever forget it. I'll never forget you. Your name will always be etched in my heart.

But then things change. People change. I changed. I've said some things that I regret ever saying. I don't know if it was because I was jealous, or that I was just being me... stupid. You know that about me already. I appreciate that you've tried to keep things to seem the same despite the fact that things between us will never really be the same.

Remember that night you've asked to go out on a date with me? I do. But apparently, that would be the last time you'll be initiating any more conversations with me. But I know I did the right thing. You were vulnerable then, and we both would have done something we'll later on regret. I won't let that happen to us. But you saw things differently.

And now, here we are. You have your own life. I have mine. As painful it is to believe, I no longer am a part of yours. And there's nothing I can do about it. Nothing but to move on. So now I will. I will try my best, but it's not going to be easy. I know it will be painful. But in time, I know my heart will mend. Things are going to be easier. Life will go on. I will forget how painful this has been, but I won't forget you.

But I guess I should be used to saying goodbye to you. In the few years that I have known you, I've said goodbye more than once. The first time you expressed your intention of leaving us, that was the worst day of my life. Once I learned of your wish, it immediately rained. Soaked and alone, I cried. I let the raindrops hide my tears. It is the only way I can. I should be used to saying goodbye to you by now. But I'm not.

I could've been yours. But sadly, that's not our fate. Or it isn't our time.

I'll always pray for your happiness. But for now, I'll have to temporarily forget. It's been over a year. But as long as I place you on the pedestal and compare everyone that I meet to you, I'll never find my happiness. I have to let go. I have to let you go.

Goodbye. We'll see each other again soon.

I hope.


Forgive me for being emo. I just need to write this one. This has been long due. Hopefully this will give me some closure regarding one chapter of my life. There is no love story. Nothing to tell. Maybe in time, I'll be able to write about it. But sometimes it's better to just stay silent until I've finally truly let go. When it doesn't hurt just thinking about the whole ordeal. I'll get there.


Mugen said...

Sana hindi dumating ang time na may isulat akong ganitong entry sa blog ko.

TENTAY™ said...

waaaaaaaaaah naiyak naman ako!!! Y_Y

gravity said...

this is simply heart wrenching. tinamaan ako. aray.

The Gasoline Dude said...

Awww. I hate goodbyes. Meron akong binabalak na similar na post.

Toni said...

I can super relate to this...

Bakit kasi kailangan pa ng 'Goodbye'? puwede namang Cya later o kaya Cya again soon..*sigh*

UtakMunggo said...

awts gillyweed this is heartbreaking. :(

Anonymous said...

awww. so emo.

bakit pag kwentong mga ganito ang daming nakakarelate, anoh?

hehe, anyway, same here, but that was months ago, i happen to write it down after 3 days of contemplating the feeling..pero di ko ippost yun!!! ;)wehe

cheers! hope u're okay now as i do. u'll be doin just great. cheers! and thanks for the visit.

FaerieTeL said...

nakakaiyak naman,nakakapunit sa puso.. -hays-

ayidnas said...

i'm not really a blogger

but as i am trying to find something in the web that could ease my pain of loosing my family i came across your blog entry about saying goodbye... It hurts... more than what i thought how it is that I know of when we talk about pain of letting go..

I am very much inspired by you... who ever you are I thank you for this wonderful blogsite...

now I am trying to make My own...

Like what you said

I quote

"write to express, but not to impress"

hope to hear it from you...

Salamat kabayan!