Mga Sumasampalataya

Jul 5, 2008


Last April I wrote about what happens to a guy after he gets dumped... This time, let's look at the other side of the dumping game. The dumper. Obviously, once he dumps a girl he'll just move on. But this entry is not about that. That's not interesting. This post is about how a guy goes about dumping a woman.

For a man, realizing that his partner may not be the right one is probably one of the hardest things to accept. I mean we've spent time, money and a lot of energy to woe her, so if we find out that our relationship is not working out, it's difficult.

Let me tell you, being a dumper is not easy. It's not only the girl you'll upset by the action, there's also her friends. People will call you cruel, cold-blooded, remorseless, stupid, ugly, and fat. You'll always be the villain, no matter what your reason is. So no, it's not fun at all.

This post is for the potential dumpees. A warning of sorts so you'll know when the one you're dating is going to dump you. Signs that your partner possibly had a change of heart.
METAMORPHOSIS: You had so much fun on your first date. You found out a lot about your date that's interesting, and you share alot of common traits. Suddenly, a few days later, or a few sms exchanges after, he seems different. He becomes cold, distant, and at times even rude. That's what I call metamorphosis. Probably it's our way of giving you a chance to turn away so that we won't have to do the actual dumping. We show attitude that will turn you off so that you'll just go away. This is an art that needs perfecting because it has a downside for the dumpers.

You know how women tend to not shut-up about guys that did them wrong. Yeah, that's the downside.
THE AFTERNOON THEORY: This is how I normally do the dumping. Because I'm a nice guy. This is sort of a long and slow process, so as not to hurt whoever it is I'm dating. Okay, say for example there's someone I met over the web, and we decide to meet each other personally. Normally, I don't date right away. I have to feel the person first, so that means a lot of texting and phone calls. But then after our first date, I realize that there really is nothing, I just lessen the communication. Text messages become less frequent, calls become rare, and before you know it, you just forget about the person. If there is a nice way of dumping a person, it's this.
THE DISAPPEARING ACT: Similar to the afternoon theory, only quicker. Guys who do this have Harry Houdini's genes. Normally this involves changing mobile numbers. Travel abroad. And even a sudden event in the guy's life or career. It's like he just got sucked by the black hole or something. I'm not an expert, but the way I see it, we don't want to be cruel enough to do the actual dumping, and we're nice enough to actually not prolong the torment of doing the afternoon theory. Or simply because we met someone else.
HONEY, WE NEED TO TALK: The worst way for us to dump somebody. If you think it's not hard for guys, think again. Imagine, we have to explain why we think it's not working out to women who 99% of the time don't believe us. They ask why, but won't accept the reason. Well, maybe because half of the time we're just full of shit... but in our mind, what we're saying is the truth. At least we didn't leave you in the dark. Even if you don't believe us. Painful, I know, but if you think of it, you'll be able to recover quicker than if we do something else.
Which hurts more, being the dumper or the dumpee? Anyway whatever is better, there's always someone who'll get hurt. I believe in karma... nuff said.


On a different note... UAAP season 71 starts today and NCAA SEASON 84 was last week... So good luck to my alma mater, NCAA reigning champs San Beda Red Lions!!!


Mugen said...

In all my relationships, I don't do the dumping. Mahirap kasi sa kunsensya eh. I just let it have a natural death. :)

Leoj said...

I'm not gonna comment on the main topic of the post itself. Though I have to admit that I don't want the idea of men dumping his girl. But as much as I hate that idea, I also do not want what Mugen has said. It's the same, IMO. I mean, mahirap din sa kunsensya yung hahayaan mo na lang mangyari yung paghihiwalay lalo na't gumagawa ka pa ng dahilan para mangyari yun. Kung baga parang planado mo ang lahat.

Anyway, ang intensyon ko talaga sa comment na 'to ay ang ipaalam na nanood ako ng opening ng UAAP kanina. LOL! Galing ng opening number. :)

my-so-called-Quest said...

hmmm... either way mahirap mapunta sa sitwasyon na un. to dump someone and making sure she doesn't end up feeling worst and to be dumped by someone feeling rejected.

gillboard said...

mugen: letting it die a natural death... like the "afternoon theory"... as much as we deny it... parang ganun na din yun...

leoj: well, good luck to UP and happy centennial!!!

ced: mahirap talaga. but that's how we learn...

Anonymous said...

wow. so that's what guys think. hmm... good tips ah.

Which hurts more, being the dumper or the dumpee?

sure it sucks being the dumper, because you end up feeling bad for the other person. but the way i think about it is, it'd be worse living in a loveless relationship, right? plus, to the other person, unrequited love must feel like a bitch. so i guess it's better to just end things before it gets worse.

and, not that i've ever been dumped... harharhar.

but i'm guessing it's worse to be the dumpee, because then you'll be left feeling rejected and there's nothing worse than having the thought of being unwanted by anyone. especially to insecure girls and/or boys.

buti na lang, secure ako sa sarili ko. rawr.

enday said...


gusto ko yung afternoon theory.

saka yung metamorphisis..

babae ako pero yun ang ginagawa ko kapag alam kong di na mag wowork yung relationship.

and about karma?

dami ko ng nadaanan na ganyan.
and para kang mata ng bagyo na walang tigil sa pag ulan ng luha kapag naranasan mo yan.

pero wala akong regrets sa lahat ng ginawa ko.

Lesson learned yun for me.