Engel has alot of ideals. In his moments alone, he dreams of the perfect life. A life he wants to have someday. A job he's always wanted. The perfect partner. Having enough money to buy the things he's always wished for. An ideal life.
During his college life, he often saw himself living the life of a yuppie that he sees on television. A life that is easy, having crazy friends, a faithful partner a job that pays for an extravagant life and being challenged by life and overcoming it. For a brief time he thought he had it.
Quarter life crisis had come and pass for Engel, so he's not really depressed whenever he thinks that he wanted so much in life. He's actually had some of the things he wanted. A position of power. A relationship. Being paid more than he required. But he left them all because he wasn't happy. The younger Engel decided to turn his back on all of it, because he thought that he deserves something more. He deserves something ideal.
But then reality struck. Months after leaving the comforts of a good job, he found himself unemployed. His savings completely depleted and his burgeoning love life, a lie.
The hardest part of being on top was crashing down.
It was a humbling experience, having to start over from scratch. Looking for a job that he only studied and never really had experience at was something difficult to have. He ended up getting work for companies he never liked. With people he didn't get along with and for salaries he thought he'd never be able to live on.
That was the real life. Ideals could sometimes be a lie. You could have the job that you've always wanted, but sometimes it's not how you imagined it to be. The perfect man does not exist if you're a man and sometimes you have to live with what you are given.
Right now Engel likes his life. While his work hours are far from ideal, he does not complain. He requested for it. He applied for it even if he already had the best schedule. He's earning just about enough for him to buy the things he wanted to buy.
And as for his love life. He doesn't have any. He has moments when he wanted to kill himself for still being single. But then he knows everything comes on it's own time. He's still not ready.
Engel's life is not perfect. It wasn't his ideal. But whose life is, really?