Writing about it is much harder.
After four weeks, I broke it off. More like I requested for a cooling period.
Most of you'd be curious as to I why changed my mind when I was really in love with him in previous posts. That feeling was actually genuine. It was real. It was true.
I never doubted for a second how much he loved me. He makes sure that I know that everyday. When we're together, even if we're not. And I loved him for that. I was happy.
Sadly, the memories of the old me came lingering. It wanted to have some time alone. To be free. It felt contained. Pressured. And I realized that I am unable to give back everything he gives.
It would be unfair for him if I continue with this. I thought it would be better to break his heart while he still loves me, rather than end it because he's already sick of my inability to love him back. I love him, and I thought that was the best thing to do. I don't want to hurt him, but I feel that if I go on with it, I'll be hurting him even more. He probably hates me now.
I'm probably going regret this one of these days, but I think for now, this would be the best thing to do. I don't think I'll be in a relationship for a little while after this. I think the problem is me. I need to figure what I want much better before I enter into this again.
Cooling off. Breaking up. It's never an easy thing. Someone's bound to have a broken heart.