Was reading Iurico’s latest endeavour with romance and I realized what’s wrong with PLU relationships.
Not that he’s doing anything wrong. This is only my opinion. I may be wrong, but I’ve been looking at patterns, with mine and people I read about in the blogosphere. We love whirlwind romances. We meet someone today, and then tomorrow we’re a couple. A week / month later, we break up.
This is a generalization. I’m sure not everyone does this. But it is common. I read about it a lot. I’ve done it a few times. And now I ask, what’s wrong with waiting?
You hear a lot of these stories. Two people danced with each other for the first time one night, the next day they’re a couple. Someone texts or talks over the phone for 5 hours, and on the sixth they’re already in a relationship. You see someone eyeing you at a mall, an hour later you have a boyfriend.
With my past endeavours, I remember feeling that after a couple of hours conversing with each other, that I already know a person. Add the fact that the guy was sweet, and the next day I was updating my relationship status. A few weeks later, I discover things about the person that I really didn’t like.
I don’t know why people always have to be in a hurry. We settle for what we see on the surface, then regret when we finally discover their imperfections, things that are irritating about them. And then we realize we don’t know them at all. A few days later, we’re single again.
Whatever happened to the getting-to-know-each-other stage? What happened to the courting period? Or am I just thinking of straight relationships? Why do people have to be in a hurry to fall in love?
Not that he’s doing anything wrong. This is only my opinion. I may be wrong, but I’ve been looking at patterns, with mine and people I read about in the blogosphere. We love whirlwind romances. We meet someone today, and then tomorrow we’re a couple. A week / month later, we break up.
This is a generalization. I’m sure not everyone does this. But it is common. I read about it a lot. I’ve done it a few times. And now I ask, what’s wrong with waiting?
You hear a lot of these stories. Two people danced with each other for the first time one night, the next day they’re a couple. Someone texts or talks over the phone for 5 hours, and on the sixth they’re already in a relationship. You see someone eyeing you at a mall, an hour later you have a boyfriend.
With my past endeavours, I remember feeling that after a couple of hours conversing with each other, that I already know a person. Add the fact that the guy was sweet, and the next day I was updating my relationship status. A few weeks later, I discover things about the person that I really didn’t like.
I don’t know why people always have to be in a hurry. We settle for what we see on the surface, then regret when we finally discover their imperfections, things that are irritating about them. And then we realize we don’t know them at all. A few days later, we’re single again.
Whatever happened to the getting-to-know-each-other stage? What happened to the courting period? Or am I just thinking of straight relationships? Why do people have to be in a hurry to fall in love?
21 comments:
I've read somewhere (no-offense):
"Nobody bothers to fall in-love anymore."
Courtship between guys?
Cmon!
But whirlwind relationships, that happens.
my asawa and i became a couple 2 months after we met. i guess that helps in building the foundation of our partnership.
true... good things come to those who wait. sadly my problem is i tend to wait too late.
So, kelangan talaga i-reference ang post ko? haha
Glad I have been of help to you further understanding PLU relationships - I guess. haha
And yes, you're right. What you mentioned was merely a generalization.
Based on the premise of your concept on "whirlwind romances," what then is your "standard length of courting stage?" One week? One month? How about one year? But would one year really be long enough to "completely" discover everything?
Do we then stop loving someone when we "discover" what their faults are?
Or does loving someone go beyond discovering their perfect imperfections?
I still believe in courtship or dating... Para no hard feelings if things don't workout. Sayang kapag hindi, pero mas less ang sakit kapag hindi naggrow ang relationship.
according to my mother, getting to know your partner in life takes a lifetime. everyday, you discover new things about each other.
-geek
IMHO courtship or even the getting-to-know you stage is ironic for our lifestyle. Why should we be conventional when our lifestyle itself is unconventional?
It’s nice to get to know the person before you get into a “relationship”, but then again you would have cheated yourselves if you go that way. You see short na nga ang mga relationships in our lifestyle tapos we would make it shorter pa – I mean our time of being in a relationship – coz we keep ourselves from reaping the benefits of a relationship kasi we’re courting ek ek pa
To illustrate my point, say you see Guy A and is totally into him and ganun din sya sa’yo, then you both decided you both wanna get to know each other muna before being “bhe” of each other. So you do put on your best shoes and clothes – and attitude. Tpos super sweetness na pati mga bubuyog at ants eh naging diabetic. Of course ligawan mode, so dapat kisses lang, hugs and a little cuddling, walang petting lolz. Say it lasted for a month – or if Guy A is a bit of a Maria Clara, nagging 2 or more months un ligawan mode. With matching other ligawan pa on the side if you’re in an exclusively dating mode. Tpos sige na nga kayo na after the 2 month period. So mas all out na ngaun ang emotions, loving.. and oh, trying to accept na that this guy pala has so many hang-ups talo ang sampayan ni Manang on a Sunday morning! So aun mga ilang months, say 2 months you both decided you’re not meant for each other. So two months lang kayo nagkangkangan.. at di pa araw araw un.. could you imagine how many great time you – at di lang sex – could have spent if you had 4 months in all as “bhebhes”
Opinion ko lang naman po..at pasensya na parang post na ang comment ko eh nakikiraan at nakikibasa lang naman ako..peace po
napaisip nga din ako...ang bilis natin makakkilala ng someone and then minsan ang bilis din magtapos...
ewan ko ba sating mga PLU,para tayo natatakot na baka kasi mapalampas natin ang opportunity kaya padalos dalos tayo...
it's not so much as knowing the person inside out, but rather the mutual desire for both parties to make the relationship work that matters.
cguro dahil takot tayo na makipag booking sa iba? hehehe. imagining our prospect to be sleeping with someone else is i think a picture we try to avoid.
very state-side na ang eksena ng mga beki sa pinas. f**k-and-go. so sad.
in my opinion, m2m relationships r not meant 2 last, kung meron man konti lng and for companionship nlng cguro, sa atin kc libog lng minsan ang ating nararamdaman.
"They that sow the wind shall reap the whirlwind."
If only all of us could ride the whirlwinds for which we whistle.
"Why do people have to be in a hurry to fall in love?"
WHY!!! Tanong ko din yan.
personall, it doesn't really matter if it's whirlwind romance or not, it's the commitment to each other during the relationship that matters.
Engel,
"Why do people have to be in a hurry to fall in love?"
Why? For some, they're young and don't know any better.
For others, time is running out.
Kane
A lot of people really don't know what they want.
When they meet someone new, they commit only to find out later that it's not what they wanted.
If you know what you want and how to get it, you'll waste less time with trial-and-error relationships.
well i agree with justine, as long na na sasatisfy mo ang partner mo, take note not just the physical thing but the emotional blah blah, kayo pa rin and then pag na realized nyo na walang nang mabibigay sau, magsasawa kna at manlalamig. dunno kung totoo sa iba. happened to me not just once.
Similar to grocery shopping, most people tend to 'shop' for partners on an empty stomach. That is why we tend to grab what's right there in front of us without knowing if we actually like or even need it. Nauuna kasi ang mga superficial or carnal needs than the more important things that we value. Although, I know of some whirlwind romances that lasted - because of the willingness of both parties to make things work. I guess in the end, it doesn't really matter how it all started, basta kayo hanggang sa dulo, okay na yon. =)
its nice to fall in love....sigh XP
Whatever happened to the getting-to-know-each-other stage? What happened to the courting period?
Many were made to believe it wasn't necessary. Isa ka ba sa nauto?
Or am I just thinking of straight relationships?
Sa totoo lang, naniniwala ako na dapat ikaw gumawa ng sarili mong rules. Hindi lang sunod sa rules ng iba.
Why do people have to be in a hurry to fall in love?
Most probably, for lack of a better thing to do. The next question would be is there anything better (to do) than love? But I think a better question is "is it love"? Maybe. There is such a thing as "stupid love". Is there?
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