Mga Sumasampalataya

May 2, 2010


Before going to sleep this morning, I found myself backreading. I find it fascinating how much I grew up chronicling my life here. When I started posting stuff here, I was mostly ranting about how much my life sucked (that lessened as years went by). I rant about the dumbest things (my job, my age, my looks, my schedule). I think I wrote almost everything about my life in that blog.

But one thing I noticed is that even after I revealed alot about me here, I was never really able to write while I was in a relationship. The blog's existed for quite awhile now, and I've been in a couple of relationships after I started writing, but I was not able to write about it while in the midst of that relationship.

I have written about failed dates. Successful dates. Getting turned down. Turning down someone. I've written about courting people. I have chronicled details about my exes. But I never wrote anything about my relationship while I'm with that person.

I haven't written about how I asked someone out. I never wrote about feeling anxious waiting for a call after a fight. I've never written sweet moments with my exes. I haven't posted about the petty reasons why we fought and what we did after we made up. I'll never write details about our awesome sexy times. I never wrote how I felt when we broke up. I just didn't write anything.

I don't know, maybe I was afraid people would find that I suck in relationships. Maybe I was afraid that people would tell me I was the one at fault when we're fighting. Or maybe that people would find me 'mayabang' when I brag about how great a date went, while the rest of the blogosphere's suicidal because they're still single. I do know that when I was with somebody, I never really had the time to do anything else but focus most of my free time with that person.

Looking back, if I did write about the relationship, when we were having problems, maybe I could've saved it. Seeing how alot of readers were giving insights about what could be done to right a mistake, maybe it could've opened my eyes and and made me want to fight more for the love. Maybe I wouldn't be single anymore. Who knows, right?

But this is not me whinging about the past. This is about looking forward. This is what I meant when I wrote about the overhaul. I still wouldn't be posting about my sex life, it's something that's private and needs not be bragged about. But the point is, I'll be writing without inhibitions.

Of course, before I write about those things, I'd need to find myself the one.

I wrote this when I opened the other blog. But seeing as the other home is already closed, I think it's high time I bring that old saying here.

Writing with no inhibitions.


The Scud said...

looking forward to your no inhibitions posts. :p

i don't read my past posts. especially the posts i wrote on scud's first year. those were too personal although i don't regret writing those.


Maldito said...

thats how you can tell someone if he is a brave writer or not...not really minding how other people will say, as long as we all have a freedom to say what we really wanted to say..

go go go gillboard! suportahan ta ka! ha ha ha

Yj said...

there was this one time when i went out with some blogging friends and while we were drowning ourselves in sanmig light, someone asked who among the bloggers we read had the greatest impact on our lives.... i mentioned about three bloggers and went on explaining why... when it was Victor's turn, he answered MYSELF. Apparently he reads his older posts from time to time just to check on how things had change, how he had evolved and grew as a person and as a writer. Sheeet, bakit di ko naisip isagot yun para kunyari sana ang smart ko hihihihihi

but isn't it funny how we feel na ang bagal bagal ng pagbabago sa buhay natin, pero kung magbabalik tanaw tayo, ang bilis bilis pala... :)

HalfCrazy said...

I find it interesting when people blog about relationships. Pero wag naman yung super detailed. Maganda yung may humor rin at interesting talaga. And I know you keep things interesting that's why from top to bottom talaga ang binabasa ng mga tao sa entries mo. Yeee flattered. Haha!

I'm in a relationship ngayon but I think I don't wanna write anything about us. Cos if I talk about it, people are gonna say their opinions tapos ma bobother lang ako sa mga sasabihin nila, mas mabuting ako nalang mag-iisip kung anong dapat gawin. Makakagulo lang siguro yung mga tao kasi. They're not in my shoes, they don't know ang lahat-lahat so I guess it's not good to listen to them.

Pero minsan siguro ayos lang. Haha.

domjullian said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
domjullian said...

Ang senti-senti mo lately ha. Epekto ba ng drugs yan?

Anyway, I hope you can really write without inhibitions. Trust me, they will understand as much as I do. Bloggers are intelligent bunch of peeps, they know how to read between the lines.

Don't forget to watch Tangin Yaman tas bash ulit natin.hehehe.

Random Student said...

uy tumatapang na

gillboard said...

random: di naman masyado... konti lang. hehehee

dom: Hindi naman. Repost lang to. Wala akong maisip pa kasing isulat. May bago na tayong hobby... Tanging Yaman bashing... hahahaha

halfcrazy: oo naman. i still believe in privacy naman. so as much as i'd like, di rin ako magbibigay ng maraming details.

gillboard said...

yj: tama si victor, reading back on our own blogs... it's nice to know na nagmamature ka na... and you're growing up in terms of your beliefs.

maldito: salamat... aasahan ko yan sa mayo 10. hehehe... yup. it's time to be brave, i guess...

scud: personal or hindi, it's really nice backreading your blog.. may mga post na sana di mo sinulat but that's what we wanted to say at that time...

Photo Cache said...

about reading back posts - i do that sometimes especially when i feel emotional (or hormonal, sorry guys). sometimes i cringe at the drama that i wrote altho' at that time it was necessary to put those emotions in writing. however, i consciously try not to write/share anything too personal or raw. i can write about something that has elapsed (just like you), but not when it's currently happening.

i think the reason you were not sharing those relationship moments with your readers is that you wanted to keep those memories to yourself while they were occuring. it's understandable. plus imho it also keeps your online and offline lives separate.

however, you raised a good point there. sometimes readers who don't know us personally can see the picture more clearly and can give logical advise better than our close friends who know the situation.

ay ang haba ng comment.

Stone-Cold Angel said...

Wag masyado mag dwell sa kung ano ang hindi nangyari in the past...

live life as if it were your last day to live. Go ahead... no inhibitions...


jayvie said...

onga, ang tagal ko na din nagbabasa ng blog mo.. november 2008 pa yata.. pero ndi ka pa nga nagkwento about being in a relationship. ang pinakanaalala ko eh si Monday, yun kasabay mo sa fx.

pero tama, write with no inhibitions. =)

jayvie said...

ui teka, di ba taga-South ka? ipapadate ko sayo pinsan ko, 29 y/o. hehe. subok lang.

Boris said...

saya magback-read ng mga posts. may mga times na mabibigla ka at naipost mo iyon hehehe.

on to your love life. darating ka rin sa point na hindi mo siya kayang pakawalan :)

gillboard said...

boris: ang dami nga na ganung times pag nagbabackread ako. sobrang babaw ng mga una kong posts.

jayvie: mang reto talaga... hahaha.. sige subukan natin.. tutal date ang hanap ko these days.

angel: di naman nagdudwell sa nakaraan... syempre kelangan nating mag move on... masarap lang magbalitktanaw..

photo cache: walang masama sa mahabang comment lalo na kung tama ang puntong gusto mong ipalabas.

Raft3r said...

keep something to yourself
it's important