BAKIT DI SIYA BUMABA NG SASAKYAN

20 seconds na kaming nakapark sa harap ng bahay ko.

Hindi kami gumagalaw.

Hindi nagsasalita.

Nakakabingi ang katahimikan.

"Are you coming in?" kailangan ko nang basagin ang katahimikan.

Tahimik pa rin siya. Huminga ng malalim.

"I don't think it's working out,"

I knew this was coming. Tahimik siya buong gabi. Alam kong may nagbago. Anim na buwan kong ineexpect ito. Simula nang naging kami.

"Girl or guy?" tanong ko.

Tiningnan niya ako. May galit sa kanyang mga mata. Pero sumuko din siya. He expected this too.

"Girl."

Di ko alam kung ano ba ang dapat kong maramdaman. Galit. Lungkot. Poot.

Pinaghandaan ko itong usapan na ito. Pero iba pala talaga kapag nandyan na yung moment na kinatatakutan mo.

"We talked about this bago ka umoo. Sabi mo sigurado ka."

"I know, and I meant it when I said it... But... I don't know... I'm sorry."

"Alam mo na masasaktan ako."

"I know... I'm sorry..." lang ang kaya niyang sabihin.

Nabulag ako sa pagmamahal ko sa kanya. Hinayaan kong umabot kami dito. Hindi siya kagaya ko. Alam ko na babae ang hanap niya. Pinilit ko to. Pero nangako siya.

"Sinabi mo sigurado ka. Nangako ka."

Hindi ko na kinaya. Tumulo na ang luha ko. Bumigay ako.

"I'm sorry. I did not expect to have this feeling. I love you. Please know that it's still true... Pero I can't help it. Lalake pa rin ako."

"Fuck you!"

"Alam ko, I disappointed you. But alam mo deep down, that this would be temporary. I guess kasalanan ko na naging mahina ako when Emily broke up with me. I should not have said yes. Di kita dapat pinaasa. Pero you knew what you're getting into when you asked to be in a relationship with me. Lalake tayo pareho. Well... Straight ako. And you know eventually this moment will come."

Dito magtatapos ang panaginip ko.

Six months.

Nangarap ako ng mataas, so now I'm falling down really fast.

"You said you wanted this too."

"I was lonely... Like you." sagot niya.

"You do know you won't be able to undo everything that we did together."

Tinitigan niya ako. Alam niyang tama ako.

"Pumatol ka sa bakla.

"Bakla ka na. At kahit na ilang beses mo ifuck yang girlfriend mo... you know deep inside bakla ka. Bakla ka pa rin."

******************************
Dahil ang daming naghihiwalay ngayon. Hindi ako makikisali sa totoong buhay... Pero just wanted to write a breakup story.

THE BIG VIDEO GAME POST

Quick Reviews of this year's biggest video games...

Dark Souls 2 (PS3)

This game is notorious for being a very difficult game. It is frustrating and it's definitely catering to hardcore gamers only. But that is the reason why this game is also a satisfying game to play. Every small kill is a victory, and when you level up, you really feel your strength and abilities are increasing. But it's still one hard game to play.

Infamous: Second Son (PS4)

Technically, nothing beats this game aesthetically. Their version of video game Seattle is really gorgeous! The colors are so alive, that if you're epileptic, you'll probably have an episode everytime you play Second Son. But for a huge sandbox game, there isn't really that much to do. Delsin's story is not that interesting. He does have a cool power set though.

Watch Dogs (PS4)

This game suffered from being overhyped. My initial excitement for this game was through the roof just because the demo/trailer for this game made us feel that Watch Dogs will be revolutionary. Unfortunately, the end product felt like a poor man's Grand Theft Auto. The game was so simple. The hero, bland and the story was not that interesting. It's a huge sandbox game though, so there were tons of things to do in Chicago. But it brings nothing new to action games.

Destiny (PS4)

This was my first experience in playing a Massive Multiplayer Online Game. Of all first person shooter games that I've played, this has the tightest controls. The world is big. But this is an empty game. There is no story. It asks you to do only one thing, no matter what planet you're in. And it's really boring. The only reason I play Call of Duty type games is the story, and this one fails miserably on that point. Too bad, I liked the world I was in, the short time I played this game.

Middle Earth: Shadow of Mordor (PS4)

This year's most innovative game for sure. The nemesis system is the one thing all games should have moving forward. While, this only asks of you to kill orcs and uruks for the duration of it's whole game, it does so with some really original tweaks. If you fail to kill one orc, when you die, he gets promoted. He becomes more powerful and he will remember what he did to you. Same thing happens if you let one escape or live, the next time you meet, he will bear the scars from your last encounter. Yeah, it plays a little bit like Assassin's Creed, but the game is so immersive, you wouldn't mind doing the same chore over and over again.

Alien Isolation (PS4)

Alien Isolation is fucking scary!!! Do not believe the reviews about this game that gave it a ridiculously low score. It is a game that you have to really experience to enjoy. I spent most of the game crouched and walking slowly, because I get paranoid. The alien AI is really smart, and unpredictable, that you really feel the stress of the character you're playing. But it still lets you enjoy the beauty of space, before it scares the living shit out of you again.

Assassin's Creed Unity (PS4)

Due to the influx of games the last few weeks, I haven't really played a lot of this game. I think maybe I'm about 10 hours into the story. But man, Paris is big and beautiful. Yes, this game is full of bugs (one time the game crashed when I jumped down a small box). And yes, last year's Black Flag was miles better than this one. But it's still Assassin's Creed. Parkouring around Paris is still awesome. And the sheer number of non playable characters in this game is massive. But, I'll get back to this one after I finish all the other games I purchased.

Dragon Age: Inquisition (PS4)

It's been one whole year since the PS4's launch, and it's only now that we get our first real western RPG. Let me tell you, the game is worth the wait. Among my latest purchases, this was the one I spent the most number of hours in. Inquisition is one massive RPG. I spent approximately 15 hours just wandering around The Hinterlands without progressing through the story. Doing quests have weight in your plight as an Inquisition Leader. And the lore... I think, the content in all of Ferelden could fill a book as thick as the bible. Game of the year contender for me.

Far Cry 4 (PS4)

They say that this is the same game as Far Cry 3 only in a different setting. They say it as if it's a criticism. But why tamper with a formula when there's nothing wrong with it. Far Cry 4 is crazy!!! I've only put in a few hours on this game, but let me tell you, crazy thing s have already happened in the few hours I played it. One of my first missions is to liberate a camp that was invaded by a rival group. Since I only started, I didn't have a lot on my player yet. I spent a few minutes hunting animals so I can ungrade my weapon holster, wallet and loot bag so when I get to that camp, I'm prepared. But lo and behold, when I get to that camp, it was already being liberated... by a couple of elephants. Elephants!!! Crazy, right?! Now why would you change something as unique as a Far Cry experience?

Alright, this year, I think I spent roughly about 50k on games alone.

And I'm wondering why I have not had any savings yet in my name.

NINE YEARS

Dahil ngayon ang ika siyam na anibersaryo ng blog na ito... magpopost ako.















Happy Anniversary to me!!!