PAANO KA NAMAN MAKAKAMOVE ON

Sa blog ko, dalawang lalaki lang ang madalas kong naisusulat...

Si Kasintahan...

At si "The One That Got Away".

Mahal ko sila pareho. Mga great loves ika nga.

Matagal ko nang natanggap na si TOTGA ay para talaga sa isang babae. I mean, apat na taon na kami ni Kasintahan. So ibig sabihin, naka move on na ako sa kanya.

Pero sadyang dumadaloy sa dugo nito ni TOTGA ang pagiging sweet, na minsan hindi maiwasan mag-isip (oo na magpantasya) kung paano kaya kung hindi siya straight.

So, eto na lang, mga dahilan kung bakit minsan napapatanong ka ng 'what if?'

• May girlfriend siya, pero minsan nagkasama kaming tatlo, mas una niya hinatid pauwi ang kasintahan niya, bago ako.
• Noong magkatrabaho pa kami, siya lang (maliban kay Kasintahan) ang nagdala sa akin ng pagkain sa opisina. As in, mula sa bahay niya, dumayo pa siya sa isang fast food resto para bilhan ako ng pagkain kasi gutom ako.
• Si TOTGA ang tipo ng lalake na kumportable sa sekswalidad niya na wala sya pakialam sa sasabihin ng tao sa kanya. Madalas pag nagkikita kami niyan, ipapakilala ako sa mga nakakasalubong namin na di namin kakilala bilang boypren niya o ex niya.
• Tinawag niya akong soulmate at best friend sa mga kaibigan ko.
• Driver ko siya. Minsan ipinagdrive niya ako sa kasal ng kaklase ko sa Quezon City. Sinundo niya sa Las Piñas galing Pasig kung saan siya nakatira.
• Kinukwento niya ako sa girlfriend niya. Na parang kapatid ang turing niya sakin. At alam ng girlfriend niya ang kwento naming dalawa.
• Isang beses, usapan namin: "Kung sakali bang pumatol ka sa bading, may pag-asa ba ako?" sagot niya, "oo naman, ikaw lang naman choice ko," 
• Hindi kami madalas nagkikita o nag-uusap dahil may kanya kanya kaming buhay, pero kahit once a year lang kami nagkikita, walang nagbabago sa pakikitungo niya sa akin di gaya ng iba kong kaibigan.
• Yung simpleng fact na matapos kong umamin sa kanya kung ano ako, at nagtapat ng nararamdaman ko para sa kanya, imbis na umiwas siya, ay mas lalo pa kami naging close. Syempre, may ilang buwan/taon din kaming hind nag-usap bago yun.

Kilala siya ni Kasintahan. May pagkakapareho nga sila sa ugali. Pareho silang may topak.

At alam ni Kasintahan na hindi si TOTGA ang tipo ng taong dapat pagselosan.

Si Kasintahan pa rin ang True Love ko. 

Malandi lang ako talaga.

MINSAN TALAGA

Siguro kapag matagal na ang isang relasyon, dumarating talaga ang panahon na iisipin mong ayaw mo na. Pagod ka na. May mga makikita ka nang hindi mo nagugustuhan. 

Tipong gusto mo na siyang sukuan.

Pero hindi rin mawawala sa iyong isipan na sa loob ng apat na taon:

Marami siyang nagawa hindi lang para sa iyo kundi sa pamilya mo.

Wala nang ibang tao ang tunay na nakakakilala sa iyo kundi siya lang.

Kahit masakit, tinanggap niya ang lahat lahat ng pagkukulang mo.

Napamahal na siya sa pamilya mo at mga kaibigan mo.

Pagkatapos niya, alam mong wala nang magmamahal sa'yo na gaya ng pagmamahal niya sa iyo.

Ang dami dami na naming pinagdaanan.

Pero sa huli, kami pa rin.

Ganun ata talaga ang nagmamahalan. 

Pang walang hanggan.

The 20 Most Awesome Moments In Game Of Thrones

Okay, so  two Sunday nights ago. we saw the closing for Game of Thrones’ most intense season (and their best season so far). So to celebrate this (i know it’s late but it was meant to be posted after the episode was shown) occassion, let me post my favorite moments of the series so far.

I limited this to twenty because the list would not have ended if I add them all. But there are definitely a lot that I have missed (Theon's torture scenes, Jorah and Daenerys breakup,  Ned vs Jamie, all of Ghost's kills, and every scene with Lady Olenna Tyrell) ,  feel free to let me know in the comments the ones that you think should have been here.

So let's start this list with:

20 Sansa Learns To Lie (Season 4 Episode 8)

Sansa has never been the most interesting nor important character in the show. She's been mostly portrayed as the weakest of the Stark siblings. For all the stupid things she has done in the first few episodes of season 1, whatever happened to her (attempted rape, abuse from Joffrey, verbal abuse from Cersei) was of her doing. I'm actually surprised that she's one of the surviving Stark child. But all of that abuse eventually had to stop. Towards the end of Season 4, to pay back for Littlefinger's help, Sansa created this elaborate lie about how her aunt committed suicide. It was a very compelling scene, with great acting from Sophie Turner. It's awesome because this may very well be the moment that Sansa finally embraces the dark side.

19 What Bran Saw At The Top Of The Tower (Season 1 Episode 1)

I have not read the George R R Martin series. I know it exists and I know it's really good. There was a lot of hype when this show started from all the geeks in the interweb, and that got me interested in the show. The first episode really wasn't that great. The opening scene was great but I thought that the middle parts slowed the series down. But towards the end, that's what changed my mind. Looking back, this is what got me hooked on the show. Incest and child abuse. Bran, the fourth child of Ned and Cat was traversing the tower walls when at the top he hears a strange noise. There was moaning and panting. Lo and behold, what does the child see, the queen being fucked by her twin brother. And when he was spotted, he was pushed out the window so that the queen's secret will be kept safe.

18 Daenerys Targaryen: Wanton Sex Queen (Season 1 Episode 3)

At the start of this series, Dany was a week girl. She was pushed around by her brother. Raped by her husband and was made to believe that she's only an asset so her brother can usurp the throne that was stolen from their family. But Dany knows she's more than that. She accepts her fate and decides to do something about it so she can get what she wants. We all know that the way a woman can dominate a man is to dominate him in bed. It took her some training with her hand maiden and soon enough she has Khal Drogo in her fingertips.

17 Valar Morghulis (Season 2 Episode 10)

Jaqhen H'ghar and Arya Stark had a very interesting relationship in Season 2 of the series. Jaqhen was doing Arya's bidding. And by her bidding, I mean he's assassinating Arya's targets. Everything culminated by the end of t he season. For Arya to escape her captors, she blackmails Jaqhen to kill more men. And in the middle of their escape, Arya bumps into Jaqhen and tells her what he really is... a faceless man. Apparently, they are the coolest people in the whole of Westeros. They parted ways in the end, but what's awesome is that there is a chance Arya's path is towards that of the Faceless Men.

16 Tyrion Slaps Joffrey (Season 1 Episode 2)

The slap that started it all. While at this point, we didn't know that Joffrey would grow to become the vilest villain in Game of Thrones history, we at least knew that he was a prick. Being the good uncle / decent person that Tyrion is, after what happened to Bran. He asked his nephew to go to the Starks to offer their sympathies for what happened to the kid. The kid declines and slap. Joffrey warns the imp then slap, another one. Joffrey tries to reason one more time and then SLAP. The little weasel could only walk away. Tyrion's luck went downwards after that, but looking back and knowing now how evil Joffrey would become, this scene was something we should cherish.

15 Brienne Vs The Bear (Season 3 Episode 7)

Game of Thrones is at its best when they pair up characters. Tyrion and Bronn. Arya and the Hound. Varys and Littlefinger. Lady Olenna and whoever. Season 3's best pairing however was Brienne of Tarth and Jaime Lannister. It was an odd pairing that started antagonistically. Brienne was tasked to bring Jaime back to King's Landing in the hopes that the Lannisters will be returning the Stark daughters back to Catelyn. But what started as antagonistic ended in friendship. In Harrenhal, Jaime went back for Brienne only to find out that she was thrown into a pit to fight off a bear. To save the lady, Jaime jumped into the pit and threatened not to come out unless she's with him. And so begins Jaime's redemption.

14 White Walkers (Season 2 Episode 10)

While technically Game Of Thrones is a Fantasy show, the series is too grounded that we sometimes forget that there are dragons and shadow creatures lurking around Westeros. But one of the more fantastical creatures of the series was finally introduced in the Season 2 finale of the show. We finally get a glimpse of what the soldiers on The Wall are finally guarding. Fucking Zombies!!! And they are scary as shit!!! Winter is coming indeed.

13 Sandor Clegane Vs Berric Dondarion (Season 3 Episode 5)

Oh I put this on the list because who does not like a fight where one of the fighters uses a flaming sword? One of the coolest scenes on television. Ever.

12 The Death of Viserys Targaryen (Season 1 Episode 6)

Viserys has been a jerk. Ever since the moment we first laid our eyes on the elder Targaryen, we knew he was an ass. He sold his sister to the Dothraki so he can build an army. He let Khal Drogo rape his younger sister all for the uncertainty of them helping him take over King's Landing. He was a vile, irrational and pretty much annoying. Not only to the viewers but mostly to the Dothraki tribe. So when the time came he demanded to have a taste of the Dothraki women, and be treated like a king, Drogo fulfilled his wish. He poured a pot of melted gold. Yes it was sick, but it was only the first of many gruesome deaths that the show has in store for us.

11 The Death of Ned Stark (Season 1 Episode 9)

This was the Oh Shit moment of the first season. The first time that we realized that no one is safe in Westeros. Not even it's lead character Ned Stark. Sean Bean was the face of Game of Thrones. And he did not even live long enough to finish the season. My jaw dropped when I first saw this episode. Just like the millions of people who have seen Game of Thrones, we cried for the elder Stark. He was the one we were all rooting for to sit on the Iron Throne, and he just got beheaded. WTF right?! But it is awesome that the show has the balls to drop it's lead star just like that. If he hadn't died, Arya, Robb, Sansa, Jon Snow and Bran, would probably just be bit players til now.

10 The Birth of the Dragons (Season 1 Episode 10)

This was what kept me from dropping the show. Watching the first season finale, I was so depressed. By that time, they have killed two of the most loved characters of the series (Ned Stark and Khal Drogo). I thought Arya alone would not be able to make me sustain my interest on the show. But then, by the end of the episode, Daenarys rose out of the fire, and with her dragons. Baby fucking dragons!!! I'm glad I stayed and stuck with this show.  And we've got Khaleesi's babies to thank for that.

9 The Trial of Tyrion Lannister (Season 4 Episode 6)

Just read this chilling speech and tell me you're not getting goosebumps imagining Peter Dinklage's emmy worthy performance.

"I did not kill Joffrey, but I wish that I had. Watching your vicious bastard die gave me more relief than a thousand lying whores.

"I wish I was the monster you think I am. I wish I had enough poison for the whole pack of you. I would gladly give my life to watch you all swallow it.

"I will not give my life for Joffrey's murder. And I know I'll get no justice here, So I'll let the gods decide my fate.

"I demand a trial by combat!"

Chilling. 

8 The Battle of Blackwater (Season 2 Episode 9)

 You see that flash of green destruction in the picture above. That's some shit that's both deadly and beautiful at the same time. This I think is the first time that Game of Thrones shows it's viewers that they can do Lord of the Rings style of war and destruction. When I saw this episode I remember being overwhelmed by how big the whole battle was. It's like watching a big budget movie. And then this is the episode that elevated Tyrion's hero status. He showed great leadership and made us want to root for the people of King's Landing even if their King is an idiot.

7 Hound Vs Brienne / Arya Leaves The Hound (Season 4 Episode 10)

 I have to cheat on this one, these are two great moments that I had to combine since they all occurred together. It started when Brienne crossed paths with Arya and The Hound. Some witty banter were thrown and then Brienne and Sandor got into the most gnarly fight I have ever seen on television. Groins were kicked. An ear was bit off. And then we end the whole scene with Arya. Just staring at the Hound who was begging her to kill him. That look, it says more than any line would ever have. We know that The Hound is on Arya's list of people she wants to kill. But she's not going to let him die in his own terms. Instead, she leaves him to die a long and lonely death. That's dark. 

6 The Battle for Castle Black (Season 4 Episode 9)

 Mammoth-riding giant archers!!! That alone easily puts this moment or episode at the top of the most awesome GOT moments list. In season four's penultimate episode, we are taken north of Westeros, on The Wall where the Wildlings for some reason find it's time to finally take over the giant landmark. You can't help but cheer for the  crows on this one. Jon Snow showed effective leadership, as well as that other guy who we disliked on previous episodes when he disagreed with Jon Snow's suggestions. Plus, it gave us that long seamless shot of the fight inside the wall that was just breathtaking. Oh, and anytime we see some direwolf action, you know there's no wrong in direwolf scenes.

5 The Viper Vs The Mountain (Season 4 Episode 8)

Oh you can tell from the picture above that  this one ended nasty. All season long we know that Oberyn Martell came to King's Landing for one thing only. Revenge. He knew The Mountain did it. He knew that the Lannisters were behind it. He just wanted a confession. And when Tyrion demanded a trial by combat, the Viper knew it was his chance to finally get what he wanted. The fight  was epic. It's like David vs Goliath, and the Viper had the upper hand. Miraculously, he was able to stab The Mountain in the chest. That was great until, for one moment, while showboating, he set his eyes away from the enemy. Immediately The Mountain put him down, knocked his teeth away and slowly, while confessing crushed Oberyn's skull. Along with the hopes of Tyrion winning the trial.

4 Tyrion's Revenge (Season 4 Episode 10)

For two seasons, Tyrion has been humiliated, stripped of his power, wrongly accused of murder and sentenced to death. Right now, he's one of the very few characters in the show that we consider as the hero. And with the death of Oberyn a few episodes prior, everything looked hopeless for everyone's favorite imp. Fortunately for him, he still has friends in King's Landing, and he escaped. But not before he exacts his revenge. I think his father's death was a bit disappointing, but what he did to Shae was incredibly satisfying. Hearing her neck snap was painful to watch but you can't help but think that she deserved it after betraying Tyrion twice.

3 The Death of Joffrey (Season 4 Episode 2)

The asshole king is dead. It was a long frickin' death. The turd deserved it. And it was so satisfying. 'Nuff said.

2 The Red Wedding (Season 3 Episode 9)

 This was awesome. But to be honest, this is one of the most painful scenes to watch in the entire run of Game of Thrones. This effectively eliminated some of the show's biggest heroes. In a wedding nonetheless. And they spared no one. Not even the pregnant wife of Robb Stark. Not even the direwolf. And worse, they cut off it's head and sewn it to Robb's lifeless body.  It is awesome because this is when GOT nails in the head the fact that no one is safe in George RR Martin's opus. Absolutely no one. Until now, I can still hear Catelyn Stark's last cry of pain.

1 Daenerys Takes Over Astapor (Season 3 Episode 4)

In total, I think I have replayed this scene like 15 times. This is my favorite scene of the entire series. It's a spectacle. It's grand. It's a perfect scene.  It started with Kraznys showing off his Unsullied at the same time bad mouthing the mother of dragons, calling her a pig and bitch. He was using the Valyrian language thinking the Mother of Dragons could not understand him. But then, in a grand showing of power, Dany spoke in Valyrian, telling Kraznys that dragons are not slaves and ordering the Unsullied to kill everyone holding a whip. Dracarys. With one word ending the life of the slave master and destroyed a city. The scene ended with Dany marching out of the city finally with an army she can call her own. Epic.

Sound off if you think I missed on anything. 

SI KASINTAHAN

Di ako masyado makapagkwento dito ng tungkol sa personal kong buhay, dahil alam niyo naman na hindi pangkaraniwan ang aking sitwasyon. Hindi normal. Hindi pa gaanong tanggap ng nakararami.

Pero, tutal naamin ko na naman lahat dito, naisip ko na ikwento na rin sa inyo ang tungkol sa amin ng aking kasintahan. Di ko lang magawa noon, kasi mahaba ang kwento namin. Sobrang haba at sobrang komplikado.

SI KASINTAHAN
Kung tutuusin, sa unang tingin hindi niyo mapagtatanto na magkasintahan kami. Malaki ang pagkakaiba naming dalawa sa isa’t-isa. Unang-una sa listahan ay ang agwat ng aming mga edad. Para lang akong cougar dahil walong taon ang tanda ko sa kanya. Tapos saksakan pa ng talino si kasintahan. Pilosopo. Eh ang babaw ko kaya. Minsan di maiiwasang nagnonosebleed ako sa kanya. Tapos marami pang iba.

Anyway, nagkakilala kami mga halos isang taon na ang nakakaraan. Nagsimula kami bilang phone friends. Araw-araw kaming magkausap. Nagkukulitan sa phone. Kinikilatis ang isa’t-isa. Kinikilala. Tuluy-tuloy kaming ganun ng isang lingo, hanggang may pumasok sa eksena. Nung una parang wala lang, may girlfriend siya noon, kaya’t hanggang kaibigan lang. Pero noong pumasok sa eksena si blogger, medyo may nag-iba.

Naging kami ni blogger noon, mabilisan yung pangyayari. Nagkakilala noong linggo, nagging kami noong lunes. Pinaalam ko yun sa kanya. Sa umpisa ayos lang, magkaibigan lang naman kami. Pero may something talaga. Dumating sa punto na minsan, kahit magkausap kami ni blogger, pag nagtext na siya, ibababa ko na yung phone para tawagan si kasintahan. Oo, aaminin ko, medyo niloko ko si blogger. Kaya hindi ko na rin pinatagal, matapos ang isang buwan iniwan ko siya.

Pero alam niyo naman ako at si karma. Best friends. Dahil bata pa nga si kasintahan, medyo di pa niya alam ang gusto niya. Kaya pagkatapos ng Pasko noong nakaraang taon, bigla siyang nawala. Naputol ang komunikasyon naming sa isa’t-isa. Matagal na niyang hinihingi noon na maghiwalay kami ng landas, kasi nga naguguluhan siya. Minsan pumapayag ako, pero bumabalik din siya matapos ng ilang araw. Pero pagkatapos ng Pasko, tuluyan siyang nawala. Karma ko sa panloloko kay blogger.

LIGAWAN
Halos tatlong buwan din kaming walang narinig sa isa’t-isa. Paminsan nagmemessage sa ym, pero wala lang. Di na tulad ng dati. Medyo mabigat sa dibdib noong nawala siya, kasi syempre lumalim na yung pagtingin ko sa kanya noon. Hindi man direktang aminin alam ko may nararamdaman na kami noon sa isa’t-isa. Pero hinayaan ko lang, bata pa eh. Di ko dapat ipinipilit ang sarili ko, kasi ako lang naman ang masasaktan. Nasasaktan na nga ako nun eh. Kaya kung mapapansin niyo, medyo madrama ako noong nagsimula ang taon.

Marso, nang muli siyang bumalik at nangulit sa buhay ko. Wala na sila kasing pasok kaya’t nabored at kinausap ulit ako. Pero noong panahon na yun, klarong ang nais lang namin ay maging magkaibigan lang. Napapanindigan naman namin yun. Lalo na siya, dahil tinatawag niya akong weirdo tuwing magsisimula akong maglambing sa kanya.

Hinayaan ko lang, kahit masakit. Tawagin ka ba naman na weirdo. Pero meron talagang pagkakataon na siya naman ang naglalambing. Hinahayaan ko na lang. Ayoko na noong umasa, baka lalo lang akong masaktan. Nung unang beses kasi, sobrang bigat sa pakiramdam, ayoko nang maulit. Hindi ako noon iyakin, pero shet, tuwing umaga na lang bago ako matulog para akong tanga na nagdadrama sa kwarto.

Pero ganun talaga siguro pag mahal mo ang isang tao, kahit gaano mo pilit itago. Kahit gaano mo pilit itanggi, lalabas at lalabas din ang mararamdaman mo.

KUMPLIKADO
Isang araw, nagtext siya. Nagsabing may ginawang kagaguhan. Meron daw nangyari sa kanila ng isa niyang kaibigan. Syempre ako drama king, nasaktan. Nagalit. Walang dahilan alam ko, pero syempre pag nakarinig ka ng ganung kwento sa taong mahal mo, diba masasaktan ka din. Medyo nagsawa na ako na umasa sa kanya. Feeling ko wala naman kaming patutunguhan kaya kinausap ko siya.

Sinabi ko na di ko na kaya. Tinanong ako noon kung kaya kong maghintay, magtiis hanggang sa dumating yung panahon na marealize niya na mahal niya ako. Sinabi ko oo. Na magiging sulit yung paghihintay na yun. Pero noong panahon na iyon, naisip ko di na darating yun. Naghihintay lang ako sa wala. At dapat ko na siyang kalimutan. Nagpaalam ako noong araw din na yun.

May ilang araw din akong hindi nagparamdam. Minsan nagtetext siya, pero di ko pinapansin. Sinasagot ko pero wala na. Ayaw ko na.

HAPPY ENDING?Isang Sabado ng gabi, nililibang ko ang sarili ko dahil nga gusto ko nang makalimot nang nagtext siya. Hindi daw niya ako malimutan. Nahihirapan siya, dahil alam niyang mahal niya ako, pero di niya kayang panindigan. Natatakot siya na kapag dumating ang panahon na handa na siya ay hindi na niya ako mahanap ulit. Sinabi niya gusto niya ako.

Hindi ko natiis, nag-usap kami noong gabing iyon. Nag-iyakan. Naglabas ng sama ng loob. Sinabi ko sa kanya na naiintindihan ko ang sitwasyon niya. Bago siya sa ganitong klase ng relasyon at di ko siya pipilitin na gawin ang hindi niya kaya. Sinabi kong handa naman akong maghintay, basta alam ko lang na mahal niya din ako. Yun yung mahalaga.

Naging kami noong gabi ding iyon.

Naisip naming bakit kailangan pang patagalin. Alam naman namin ang nararamdaman namin sa isa’t-isa. Paninindigan na namin. Hindi naman magbabago yung nararamdaman namin. Wala nang dahilan para itago pa.

Pitong buwan din yun bago naging kami. Ang daming nangyari. Ang daming pinagdaanan. Pero sulit. Sobrang sulit ang lahat. Di kayang ipagpalit ng kahit ano ang kaligayahang nararamdaman namin ngayon.

Minsan nag-aaway kami (actually medyo madalas yun pareho kasi kaming may topak), pero kinakaya namin. Minsan lang kami magkita dahil medyo mahirap pa maghanap ng oras, pero natitiis namin. Minsan nakukulitan kami sa isa’t-isa pero pinapahaba namin ang pasensya namin. Ganun siguro talaga pag mahal mo ang isang tao.

Sabi ko nga, ginagawa ko siyang mas mabuting tao, sa parehong paraan na kinukumpleto niya ako.

**********************************************
Reposting para sa ikaapat na taon ng aming pagsasamahan.

KWENTONG BANGUNGOT

Sabado ng gabi, ako'y naalimpungatan sa aking pagkakatulog. May mga batang naglalaro sa labas ng aking bintana. Malinaw ang kanilang boses, sila'y naghahabulan. Sa una'y hindi ko siya pinansin pero nang maalala ko na ako'y natutulog sa ikalawang palapag ng aming bahay, ako'y naalimpungatan.

Biglang tumahimik na sinundan ng malakas na hiyaw ng isang pusa.

Bumalik ang mga boses ng mga bata. Tila sila'y nagtatakbuhan palayo. 

"Nandyan na ang maligno!" ang huli kong narinig.

Iminulat ko ang aking mga mata.

Isang masamang panaginip. 

Tumabi sa akin si Georges St-Pierre at tinanong ako kung ok lang ba ako. Ikinuwento ko ang masamang panaginip na gumising sakin. 

Napatitig siya sakin. Medyo may pag-aalala. Pero sabi niya, wag ako mangamba dahil nasa tabi ko lang siya at ako'y kanyang babantayan habang natutulog.

Ako'y napangiti. Pero ang ngiti ko'y di nagtagal. Nakakarinig ako ng isang malakas na hilik. Ito'y nakapagtataka dahil kaming dalawa lang naman ang nasa kwarto. 

Hinanap ko ang pinanggagalingan ng nakakabahalang tunog. Sumilip ako sa aking kanan. Wala. Sa aking kaliwa. Wala. Naririnig din ni GSP ang humihilik pero wala siyang nakita. Tiningnan ko ang ilalim ng aking kama, ngunit wala pa rin akong nakita.

Nagising akong bigla.

Isang nakakabahalang panaginip.

Tumingin ako sa aking tabi. Si Kasintahan ay natutulog ng mahimbing.

MALIGNO.

Yan ang salitang tumatak sa aking isipan. Ako'y nagsimulang magdasal.

"Ama namin sumasalingit ka, sambahin ang ngalan mo..."

Napatingin ako sa labas ng aking bintana. Nakita kong bilog ang buwan. Pero parang may kakaiba. 

"Mapasaamin ang kaharian mo sundin ang loob mo..."

Ang kabilugan ng buwan, unti unting nababalot ng kadiliman.

Muli ako ay nagising. Bangungot.

Tang ina, sa isip ko hindi ako magising. Kinurot ko ang sarili ko para siguradong gising na ako. Si Kasintahan nasa tabi ko, mahimbing pa rin ang tulog. 

Niyakap ko siya. Baka sakali matatapos na ang mga bangungot ko.

Pero biglang may humila sakin patalikod kay Kasintahan. 

Isang itim na nilalang. Pilit akong niyayakap. 

Ang maligno. 

Niyayakap niya ako ng mahigpit. Hindi ako makagalaw. Hindi ako makahinga.

Pinipilit kong magising at makawala sa bangungot na ito. 

Bigla akong napaupo sa aking kama. Pawis na pawis at pilit hinahabol ang aking hininga.

Nagising si Kasintahan. 

Niyakap ko siya ng mahigpit. Kakaiba ang takot na aking nararamdaman sa di na natapos na bangungot. Walang bisa ang dasal. Pakiramdam ko'y ako'y mamamatay.

Hinalikan niya ako sa pisngi. Nananahan. 

"Matulog ka na ulit. Andito lang ako." sambit niya. Humiga kami parehong magkahawak ang kamay. 

Maya maya lang ay narinig ko ulit yung malakas na hilik.

Yung maligno.

Pilit kong ginigising si Kasintahan ngunit malalim na ang kanyang paghimbing. Naririnig kong lumalakas ang hilik. Sa aking likuran.

Nilingon ko ang pinanggagalingan ng tunog na aking kinatatakutan.

Isang itim na nilalang ang sa tabi ko'y natutulog. 

At ako ay nagising. 

Tunay na gising. 

Pinilit kong tumayo at uminom ng tubig.

11:49pm ang sabi ng orasan sa aking telepono.

Wala nang maligno.

Gising na ako.

Ang bilis ng pintig ng aking puso. 

Nagising si Kasintahan sa aking kalikutan.

Hindi ko na yata kayang bumalik pa at matulog.

Alas tres na nang muling pumikit ang aking mga mata.

BEST OF 2013

I don't think I can wait anymore for the last day of the year. I have work then, and I think I'll be busy doing work at home. So let's just do this today then.

As with my other Best Of posts, I would like to first thank everyone who stuck with this blog event hough I don't post the way I do before. Even though I'm less funny, I write very rarely and sometimes I don't make sense anymore. Thank you.

So let's get it started.

BEST MOVIE (International)
LAST YEAR: The Perks of Being a Wallflower
I think this is the year where science fiction was taken seriously. It's not always about a chosen one destined to save the world. It's not always about super powered beings from another planet. Science fiction can also be simple. Something like... being trapped in space. Alfonso Cuaron's Gravity is a perfect example of a simple science fiction tale. It is unbelievable how you can be at awe at the beauty of seeing our planet from space and  the same time afraid for Sandra Bullock's character. That is the power of great filmmaking, storytelling, superb acting and today's technology.
RUNNER-UP: The Kings of Summer, Before Midnight

BEST MOVIE (Local)
LAST YEAR: Unofficially Yours
This year has brought us a surprisingly good number of awesome movies. Of course, we're still getting a bulk of romcoms, but we also got quite a number of quality films. A few of them were actually action films. If this were a different year, It Takes A Man and a Woman would have won the title, but since it's 2013, I choose OTJ as the best movie of the year. It is an awesome action film. Is it original? I don't think so. Filipino movie directors have been "inspired" by foreign films and some may compare this film to The Departed. It's action packed and it's intriguing. The fact that this is not a rom com alone gives it an edge over other titles.
RUNNER-UP: Four Sisters and a Wedding, It Takes A Man and A Woman

GAME OF THE YEAR (Console)
LAST YEAR: Mass Effect 3
Wow, this I had a really hard time choosing. While there are actually only two games that stood out, a lot of the nominees, if they were released another year would have easily won this distinction of being the best game. But how could you really choose between Grand Theft Auto V and The Last of Us? Both are really brilliant games. One has a really outstanding story with great gameplay and beautiful visuals. The other is a really huge game which no one could possibly want to stop playing. I could just make it easy and make it a tie, but there really has to be only one. I guess sky diving and dropping directly to a dirt bike then racing down the top of the mountain against a crazy drugged up daredevil, just because you followed a talking dog would trump an awesome zombie game this time. So, it is with great difficulty that I give the Game of the Year title of 2013 to Grand Theft Auto V.
RUNNER-UP: The Last Of Us

GAME OF THE YEAR (Handheld)
This is the first new title I'm giving out this year to replace comic book awards (if you don't know yet I have quit downloading them this year). I think it's only fair to separate the handheld titles from the console ones just because the quality between the two are really different. But then again this year, between my PSVita and 3DS, I played my handheld games longer than my consoles. Nintendo really had a strong showing this year with Luigi's Mansion, Fire Emblem, Pokemon and Animal Crossing. I think I spent literally hundreds of hours between the last three games. But the game I choose this year trumps them all not because of the length of time I played the game. Tearaway is a short game. But in the short time I played, it really pushed out all of the things my PSVita can do. From the touchscreen from the front back, camera, microphone, and everything else. All of them were used. Not all games could brag about that. And of course, it's got a great story.
RUNNER-UP: Fire Emblem, Animal Crossing: New Leaf, Pokemon X

BEST OF TV (Drama)
LAST YEAR: The Walking Dead
This is another tough category. But there are really only two shows that delivered really really strong episodes this year. Game of Thrones with Khaleesi's taking of The Unsullied and The Red Wedding. The Good Wife with it's Hitting The Fan and 100th episode. But really, only one episode is enough for me to give the title to The Good Wife. I have been a fan of the show since it's first season. But they really stepped up their game in it's first ten episodes this season. Just watch episode 5 (Hitting The Fan). I named it the best episode of any tv show ever. I clapped. I laughed. I sat on the edge of my seat. I got mad. All those different emotions just because of one episode. It's smartly written, brilliantly acted and generally just a joy to watch. I love this show.
RUNNER-UP: Game of Thrones

BEST OF TV (Comedy)
This is the other new category. Honestly, if I didn't separate the two categories, no comedy show would've won in Best of TV. I don't know why it took me five years to create this one. But I guess for one, there really hasn't been any truly strong sitcom on television the last few years. I think the golden era of sitcoms was the time when both Friends and Will & Grace were on air. Now, comedies just come and go. And this one, I'm afraid is a show that we may lose soon. The Mindy Project is a really funny series. Yes, Mindy can be a bit annoying. But really, there aren't that many shows that could make you laugh out loud or is tolerable to watch again other than this one.
RUNNER-UP: The Crazy Ones, New Girl

BEST OF TV (Local)
LAST YEAR: Be Careful With My Heart
Cathy Garcia Molina has been a strong presence in this annual thing I do, because she makes really 'kilig' movies. This year, she brought her signature work to television via my Best Pinoy TV Show, Got To Believe. This is again not originally nominated because it just started recently, but given it's newness, we it is a show that I really can't let go. I am not a fan of Daniel Padilla and Kathryn Bernardo, but I cannot deny that the couple has great chemistry. Something I last saw with John Lloyd Cruz and Bea Alonzo. The show itself is funny, charming, sweet and Carmina is an effective villain. I hate her. How can you really deny giving the title to Mama Bear, Papa Bear, Care Bear, Teddy Bear and Gummy Bear.
RUNNER-UP: Honesto, Juan dela Cruz

BEST IN MUSIC
LAST YEAR: Madness / Muse
Breakup anthems have been the most relatable songs there is. I mean everyone has gone through one. Hearts have been broken at one point or another. While technically this song is not a breakup song, it's almost one. Pink has been on a roll lately in delivering really great songs, but Just Give Me A Reason is the best on her discography. Who doesn't know the lyrics to this song? It's about a couple having a trouble with their relationship and are trying to find a reason to stay with each other. Who hasn't been in this situation? That's enough for me for this song to be the best song of 2013.
RUNNER-UP: Blurred Lines

BLOG OF THE YEAR
LAST YEAR: Wickedmouth
There hasn't been any blogger who has experienced more success this year other than Glentot himself. He's so successful he's now published. It's one thing all real bloggers would want for their blog. And that alone is reason enough for Wickedmouth to be this year's best blog... Again. I have had a chance to finally meet him this year when he gave me a signed copy of his book (which unfortunately was among the things that was taken from me by those fuckin' holduppers). Glentot, if you're reading this I need another copy of your book please!!! Anyway, if you don't believe me, just click the link and go to his blog. I'll shut down my blog if you tell me you didn't laugh in at least one of his posts.
RUNNER-UP: Alfabeto Della Mia Vita

2013 REPORT CARD

Naituring ko na ang 2013 na pinakapanget na taon sa tanang buhay ko. Sa totoo lang, I don't think things will get lower than 2013. Namatay ang parrot ko. Naholdup ako. Sinalanta ni Yolanda ang tahanan namin sa Samar. At naging miserable ako sa trabaho ko.

Kaya masaya ako at malapit nang matapos ang taon na ito.

Gaya ng nakaraan, ako'y mangunguna na sa mga year end posts. Ito ang ikalimang taon ng aking paggrado sa buhay ko.

Tingnan natin kung anong average grade ko ngayong 2013.

CAREER 78% (2012 - 88%)
Gaya nang nasambit ko kanina, nitong taon na ito naging miserable ang buhay trabaho ko. Nagkaroon ako ng mga issue sa mga bagay na hindi ko na dapat binibigyang pansin. Napabayaan ko ang trabaho ko. At may punto pang bumaba ako sa pwesto ko para matigil na lahat ng stress ko sa trabaho. Pero di naman lahat eh negatibo. Natutunan kong maging mas pasensyoso. Narealize ko na ako ang may control sa karera ko, at kung gusto kong umusad ay kailangan kong lampasan lahat ng pagsubok sa trabaho. Ang maganda nito, ay hindi napalampas lahat ng magagandang nagawa ko sa opisina. Hiniling na ako'y bumalik sa binitiwan kong posisyon at napatunayan kong totoo nga ang karma. Next year, papasa ulit ito. Itaga niyo sa bato. 

SOCIAL LIFE 75% (2012 - 70%)
Tanggap ko na na hindi na magiging normal ang social life ko mula nang tinanggap ko ang trabaho sa US Operating Unit ng gasolinahang pinagsisilbihan ko. Pero kahit papaano ngayong taon ay medyo nag-improve naman ang social life ko.

Siguro ipagpapasalamat ko nang nagkaroon ng kotse ngayong taon si Kasintahan kaya nakakalabas labas na kami ng mas madalas ngayon. Nakapag out-of-town. Nakipagmeet sa ilan sa kanyang mga kaibigan. Nameet din niya ang ilang sa mga kaibigan ko.

Mas marami akong bagong nakilala ngayong taon. Ngunit ang nakakalungkot lang ay hindi ko man lang nakita kahit isang beses ang aking barkada / ex-housemates.

LOVE LIFE 95% (2012 - 95%)
Hindi na siguro magbabago to hanggang sa kamatayan ng blog ko.

Ako ay umiibig. At ako ay masaya sa larangan ng pag-ibig. Marami na kaming pinagdaanan at tiyak ko marami pa kaming susuungin na mga pagsubok. Basta ang alam ko mahal ko si Kasintahan at mahal din niya ako.

Ngayong Disyembre, tatlong taon at anim na buwan na kami. Ang tagal na!!!  Wala lang, naisip ko lang.

BLOG LIFE 75% (2012 - 75%)

Ang mahalaga sa akin pagdating sa aking blog life ay buhay pa rin ang blog ko.

Nakalimutan ko man noong isang buwan, pero sasabihin ko pa rin, WALONG TAON na ang blog ko!!! Gaya nitong nakalipas na taon, hindi na masyadong aktibo ang inyong lingkod sa pagsusulat o kahit pagkukumento sa mga tahanan ng ibang mga bloggers. Siguro ito'y dahil sa sobrang toxic ng aking trabaho ngayon ay nakakaligtaan ko na magbukas ng internet paminsan minsan.

Ngunit, nakakatuwa pa rin na sabihin na kahit papaano ay may mga nakilala pa rin akong mga bloggers sa personal. Tatlong pangalang mamamarkahan ko sa listahan ng mga nais kong makilala. At mayroon pa rin akong mga nadidiskubreng mga bagong tahanan na mapaglilipasan ng oras.

SAVINGS 80% (2012 - 74%)
Sa wakas, sa tatlumput isang taon kong pamamalagi sa mundong ito, ngayon lang natupad ang sinasabi kong magkakaroon ako ng sarili kong bank account. Mauumpisahan ko nang mag-ipon.

Ngayon ko rin lang narealize, na tatlong taon na rin pala akong nagbabayad pambili ng stocks sa gasolinahang aking pinaglilingkuran. At medyo malaki na rin ang aking tinubo dito. Malapit ko na rin matapos bayaran ang aking insurance plan. Ibig sabihin, malaki-laki na rin pala ang aking naiipon at mayroon na rin palang perang nakakabit sa aking pangalan.

Natupad na rin ang matagal nang pinapangarap ng nanay ko.

HEALTH 78% (2012 - 72%)
Okay, aaminin ko hindi pa ako pumapayat muli... Ang totoo medyo tumaba nanaman ako. Pero nagdecide ako na pataasin ang marka ko sa Health ngayong taon dahil sa maniwala kayo't sa hindi. Regular na akong tumatakbo at nagboboxing.

Well, semi-regular.

Hindi na ako bumabata. Kailangan nang magbago. Ang kulang ko na lang talaga disiplina. Saan ba nakakabili nun?

Pero anyway ayun nga, imbis na magbabad ako sa aking kwarto minsan o madalas nagagawa ko nang tumakbo ng 30 minutos hanggang isang oras. At kung may oras talaga ako, nag-gygym ako at nagboboxing. Ang sarap sa pakiramdam na kasya ulit at naisasara ko ang aking mga pantalon.

Pero gaya nga ng sabi ko, kulang na lang sakin ay disiplina.

AVERAGE  80.17%

*********************************

Tumatanda na talaga ako. Noong isang taon, tumigil akong bumili ng comics. Ngayong taon naman, nagbukas na ako ng account sa bangko. Kahit papaano, may pera na ako. Nasimulan ko na rin mag-ehersisyo.

Sana sa pagtatapos ng 2014, mailalagay ko nang tuluyan ko nang napapayat ang sarili ko.

Kayo ano ang magiging grado niyo ngayong 2013?

THE LOWEST POINT OF 2013

2013 will go down on my history book as the worst year of my life.

There have been ups and there were way too many downs.  And a couple of the lowest points in my life happened only a few days ago.

NOVEMBER 7, 2013

I hurried home because that was my father's birthday. It was supposed to be a rest day for me and I wanted to help out in preparing for the party that afternoon/evening.

I could have taken a cab, which was the safest way to go, but I took the bus.

Unfortunately we were robbed by three armed men.

One man pointed a gun to my face. He took my phones, but I did not give my wallet. I thought he was done with me, but before they got off the bus he went back to me and took my bag.

They took almost everything. He took my phones, laptop, my hard drive, important IDs.

I am just thankful he did not take my life.

NOVEMBER 8, 2013

A day after, Super Typhoon Yolanda came.

The first hit, Guiuan Eastern Samar is my father's home town. And Tacloban, the worst hit by the storm was my mother's. We have a lot of relatives down there that we haven't heard from in a while now.

We can only wait and watch the news.

Fortunately or unfortunately, we found some photos of the town, but what we saw is disheartening. Our family home was totally destroyed.

There's still no word if anyone survived or if everyone's safe. I honestly don't know if this is something we could ever recover from.

We could only pray.

I hope you could all pray with me.

Our family home totally wrecked
Photo courtesy of Central Command, AFP

BEST OF 2013 THE NOMINEES

2013 looks to be the most difficult year for me to choose winners. There are a lot of worthy titles to name but I can only choose one.

Also, there will be some changes on the awards as I completely ended reading comics a few weeks ago. So there will be a couple of new awards that I'll be giving out.

So, let's start this off...

And if I missed out on anything, please feel free to let me know. And give your opinion on who should win.

Best Movie (International)
Iron Man 3
Gravity
Before Midnight
The Conjuring
The Butler
(Oscar contenders coming out Nov-Dec)

Best Movie (Local)
On The Job
Ekstra
It Takes A Man and a Woman
Transit
Tuhog

Game of the Year (Console)
The Last Of Us
Grand Theft Auto V
Devil May Cry
Diablo 3
Tomb Raider
Bioshock Infinite
Ni No Kuni

Game of the Year (Handheld)
Animal Crossing: New Leaf
Pokemon X
Fire Emblem
The Walking Dead (released 2013 on Vita)
Rayman Legends

Best of TV Drama (International)
The Good Wife
Game of Thrones
Suits
Scandal
Orange Is The New Black
Breaking Bad

Best of TV Comedy (International)
The Mindy Project
New Girl
The Crazy Ones
Big Bang Theory
Modern Family

Best of TV (Local)
Juan dela Cruz
The Voice of the Philippines
Annaliza
Got to Believe
Dugong Buhay

Best in Music
Just Give Me a Reason (Pink)
Stay (Rihanna)
Blurred Lines (Robin Thicke)
Thrift Shop (Macklemore)
Mirrors (Justin Timberlake)

Blog of the Year
Wickedmouth
Professional Heckler
Alfabeto Della Mia Vita
L'Heure Bleue
Citybuoy

Winners will be revealed on December 31 just before the year ends. :)

KUNG PAANO KAMI NAGING CLOSE

(Nick at Kiko Part 2)

"I'm thinking may galit ka sakin boss."

"Huh, bakit naman?"

"You know there's only one person na gusto ko sa team ko, pero di mo binigay! You really hate me!"  I don't know what got over me na nagawa kong taasan ng boses ng ganyan ang boss ko.

I mean I'm not really serious na galit ako na hindi sakin napunta si Nick, pero I don't know for some reason masama ang loob ko na hindi napunta sakin yung gusto ko.

"Kiko, you already have a challenging team. From what I gathered during their training medyo hirap Nick in selling our products. I mean this is his first real job. Your team, pagdating sa stats is already behind so I gave you yung may potential to be performers."

"Ok, how about we make a deal. If after a month naiangat ko performance ng team, the month after ibibigay mo sakin si Nick."

"No. Make your team a Top 3 Team, I will give you Nick." hamon sakin ni Boss.

"Shake on it?" inabot ko ang aking kamay at agad naman niya itong kinuha.

***********************
"Kiko, can you please help Nick, he still doesn't have a sale yet. I have my hands full on all my newbies." pagmamakaawa ni Michelle. Siya ang maswerteng nilalang na may hawak sa aking apple of the eye. Tama si boss, kailangan ko nga yung mga ibinigay niya sa akin.  Mahuhusay nga sila, lahat nakaquota na.

Kinumusta ko sila ng sandali at sinigurong walang kailangan bago ko tulungan ang mga baguhan sa team ni Michelle.

Nanginginig si Nick pagdating ko. Halatang pressured.

"Musta?" tanong ko.

"Not ok." sagot ni Nick.

"No sales?"

"Not my day."

"Okay, let me help you. Listen to me ha." Binigyan ko ng kaunting pointers si Nick kung paano ako bumebenta sa mga customers ko. Kinuha ko ang sumunod na call. Swerte naman at nauto ko ang kausap ko. Nabigyan ko siya agad ng benta.

"And that is how you do it."

Bakat sa mukha ni Nick ang pagkamangha. Isang upuan lang nabigyan ko siya agad ng benta. Isang tawag. Isang pitch.

"Wow! Dude you're good."

"That's why I'm a Team Lead. And of course, I have a winning personality."

"Thank you TL!!! I owe you one."

"Nah, it's part of my job." shet natunaw ako sa kanyang ngiti!

"Hey, can you stay muna, listen to how I call and then give me pointers on how I can improve. Please?" nangangawa ang kanyang mga mata. Paano ka ba naman makakatanggi sa isang matipunong binata na huminhingi ng pagkakataon na makapiling ka kahit sandali?

"Okay, sure no problem." masaya kong sagot sa aking crush.

"Thank you. Alam mo sana ikaw na lang naging Team Lead ko."

At biglang tumalon ang puso ko.

(To be continued...)

NICK AT KIKO PART 1

Nicholas Patrick Figueroa.

Pangalan pa lang pogi na. Ganun din kaya siya sa personal? Tanong ng mga Team Lead sa isa't isa. Ngayon ang unang araw na makikita nila ang mga bagong salta sa call center na pinapasukan nila. Para kay Kiko, si Nicholas Patrick Figueroa ang gusto niyang unang makilala.

Para sa isang bading, kahit di pa nakikita alam niya kung ang isang tao ay pogi o hindi sa pangalan pa lang. Ipinagmamalaking talento ni Kiko ito.

"I got dibs dun sa Nicholas Figueroa." bungad niya sa Team.

"Bakla, makadibs ka naman. Tunog mayaman lang yung pangalan. Does not always equal mukhang mayaman." ang sagot ni TL Michelle, best friend ni Kiko.

"Bes, I have a feeling. Alam mo naman ako at ang mga vibes ko. They never fail me."

Alas nuwebe y medya nang isa-isang dumating ang mga bagong salta. Tambay muna sila sa pantry dahil wala pa silang workstation. Malayo sa inaasahan ng mga nauna nang empleyado, kakaunti lang ang baguhan na cute. Puros babae pa ang may hitsura.

"Ano bes, told you so." Bulong ni Michelle kay Kiko. 

Irap lang ang sagot nito.

Alas dyes. Simula na ng shift ng business. Si Kiko ang naatasan na magwelcome sa mga bagong salta. At gaya ng tradisyon, sa unang oras ay ang pagpapakilala.

"Hi Guys, I'm Kiko Ponce, I'm going to be your trainer for the day. Well not really trainer... More like welcoming committee. You'll be meeting your real trainers in the next few days so you could expect the first hour of the next few days you'll be doing this. Kaya magprepare kayo ng mga tatlong things about you na di niyo pa nasasabi sa lahat."

Nagtawanan ang mga trainees niya. Magandang simula.

"Kiko is not short for anything. That is my real name. Pinaglihi daw ako kay Kiko Matsing." Konti lang ang natawa. Ang mga halata ang edad. Mga pinanganak sa panahon niya. "I have been with the company for the last year and a half. I was a pioneer of the account and was one and am still one of the best sellers for the program. I'm also going to be one of your Team Leads. Outside of work, I am movie addict. On a good week, I am able to watch at least 3 films. I am also into writing and music. I can play the piano, guitar and saxophone. And I'm also super gay. But not really that gay." Tawanan ulit ang grupo.

Sa pagkakataon na yun, tinuro ni Kiko ang babae sa likod. Miss, let's start with you and then we'll go clockwise.

Hi I'm Cristina Henson... (sosyal)

Good evening guys, I'm Bryan Tejada... (resident family man)

My name is Luisa Taguinod and you can call me Mommy Lui... (resident nanay)

Hi, I am Ebenezer Diaz... Ben for short... (medyo cute pero chubby)

Hi all, my name is Carla Cuaresma, 21 fresh grad from Iloilo... (ang magandang probinsyana)

Aaron Lontoc mula sa Bulacan... (resident bad boy)

Hello guuuys, I'm Greg Lindon, and you can call me Greggie for short hihihi... (resident becky)

Judy Prado and I'm a lesbian... (resident lesbian)

At dito natapos ang pagpapakilala. Wala si Nicholas Patrick Figueroa, malungkot na naisip ni Kiko. Siguro di niya gustong magtrabaho sa call center. O baka naman may mas malaking offer siyang nakuha sa ibang kumpanya.

Oh well.

"Okay, thank you everyone it's nice to meet you all. I guess it's now time to start introducing you to the company."

Tok tok tok. 

Napalingon ang lahat sa pintuan sa likod. 

Mukha ni Michelle ang lumantad sa grupo. Dali itong pumasok at niyaya ang isang pares. Mga na-late dumating.

"This is the training room, you can just choose any seat from there." Biglang tumingin si Michelle kay Nick. "Tama ang vibes," sabay kindat.

"Hi I'm Kiko. We were just about to start but since we have new people here you have to introduce yourselves to the class. Usual intro, name, background, hobbies, likes, dislikes, relationship status and expectations sa company or sa class."

Naunang nagsalita ang babae Princess daw ata ang pangalan. Walang ibang narinig si Kiko dahil ang buong atensyon nito ay nakatuon sa lalaking bagong dating. Matipuno. Gwapo. Mestiso. Matangkad. Mukhang mabango. Mukhang mayaman. Lahat siguro ng hanap nito sa isang lalaki ay nasa binatang hinihintay niya simula nang mabasa ang pangalan sa roster ng new hires.

"Thank you Peaches."

"Uhm... Princess." Pagtatama ng dalaga.

"Sorry, thank you Princess for that five minute introduction. Sir, it's your turn."

"Sorry I'm late. My name is Nicholas Patrick Figueroa, but you can call me Nick. I'm 27. Believe it or not this is my first real job. The last six years I spent with my mom in Japan. She's been battling cancer for the last eight years, but we lost the fight a few months ago. I know it's a downer, and I apologize for that. But I'm generally a happy person. I like to watch movies. Play video games. Typical geek I guess. What else? Uhm... I was a model in Japan. Oh yeah, relationship status. I'm proud to be in a ten year relationship with my girlfriend."

Damn! Naisip ni Kiko.

(To be continued...) 

GRAND THEFT AUTO V REVIEW

I have played Grand Theft Auto 5 roughly about 20 hours and in that time I have rappelled over a building to kidnap an FIB witness, flew an airplane and a helicopter, stole a washed up rocker's gold tooth for an elderly British couple, introduced my drug laboratory to a Chinese businessman's drugged son, and worked with a paparazzi chasing after a Lindsay Lohan-type actress trying to outrun the cops... and then stole her pink sports car after she got arrested. Just because I can.

And that's the greatest thing about this game. You can literally do anything. One of the jobs I'm about to do next is to blow up a cargo ship and steal whatever's being guarded inside it using a submarine!!! 

I guess this is the dawn of this generation's games. After 2013 it's all about the PS4 and XBox One. But the business is still strong for the PS3 and 360 as evidenced by this game's release. Just goes to show that it's going out with a bang.

So going back to GTA, this is Rockstar Games' best outing for the series. It is a culmination of all the leaps that they've done over the last few years, combining all of the strengths of all of their previous releases and adding a few more and then giving us a truly remarkable story to make this a genuine masterpiece.

Unlike any other game, GTA5 stars not just one, but three protagonists, almost all trying to make their lives better but keeps getting entangled with the criminal underbelly of San Andreas. Michael is a retired thief, Franklin is an up and coming gangbanger and Trevor... uhmmm the human equivalent of the Tazmanian Devil. 

Technically, this game is truly outstanding. There are no load times, the graphics is crisp, gameplay is pretty easy to get used to (except flying fucking planes), the voice acting is superb, and the script is sublime. It's funny, full of very interesting characters, and a boatload of things to do. In the 30 hours that I played this game I never had nothing to do. Simply driving around, you encounter random things that eventually may become integral to the overall story. I towed cars, I saved a construction worker whose truck got stuck under pipes that fell, raced an ex-lover and then met a lot of strangers and freaks.

Of course, this won't be a GTA game if you don't do the usual activities like assassinate, steal cars and intentionally or unintentionally murder a fuckload of San Andreas citizens. One welcome addition to the game are heists. These are elaborate crimes that needed multiple activities to pull off. I have only done one, a jewelry store heist, wherein I needed sleeping gas, hackers, an insecticide company van and a few reliable motorcyclists to do the job perfectly. It was an exhilirating scene seeing the plan work out. Now I'm about to start my second heist the one with the submarine and all that shit.

My initial worry for this game was that it would be difficult to play what with all three characters, I thought it will be confusing and difficult, but it actually isn't. The transition from one character to another is seamless and everything from the previous game improved. Shooting is better, even doing drive by's are easier now. Driving is still a bit wonky, but I think it's because of me. The only thing I was having trouble with is flying a goddamn airplane. But I finished that, so hopefully it'll be a bit easier.

This early, I'm already thinking of what game to crown as 2013's game of the year. I think it's going to be a really really REALLY hard decision which one is going to win with the quality of the games that came out. 

But I'm only 30 hours in... and I'm already leaning towards this game to win.

RATING: 10 out of 10 stars

ALAM KONG POGI AKO KASI

Simula nung nagboxing ako, medyo lumiit ang katawan ko...

Di na masyadong siopao ang mukha ko.

Kahit papaano medyo yummy na ako. (isang malaking echos)

Pero minsan talaga napapaniwala ako sa linya sa itaas.

Gaya kanina, papunta sa gym, humabol akong sumakay sa elevator.

At ako'y may nakasabay.

Isang tatay.

Ay hindi.

Isang lolo.

Na ang tingin sa akin ay pagkalagkit.

Nang-aakit.

Kaya biglang gusto kong manakit.

Mata niya sa akin ay hindi nawaglit.

Kahit habang ako'y nag-eehersisyo, si lolo'y nakaabang sa akin sa labas ng pinto.

Dun sa labas ng opisina nila, sa may waiting area dun lang siya nakaupo.

Hanggang matapos ako, andun si lolo ang paa'y nakapako.

Kaya pagbaba ko agad agad si lolo ay sumabay.

Agad agad ang wallet ay nilabas.

Kumuha ng 300 at sa akin ay nagyaya.

"Pogi, tara dun tayo sa CR... Sa'yo na to."

Ito na ang pinakamatagal na elevator ride sa buong buhay ko.

Apat na palapag lang... halos magunaw ang mundo ko.

Kaya paglabas ko ng pinto, biglang kumaripas ako ng takbo.

Hay lolo, nakakaloka ka!!!

Sa'yo na lang yang pensyon mo.

**************************************
Okay lang naman na may nagkakacrush sakin...

Pero sana lang yung mga taong yun ay crushable...

Hindi yung masarap i-crush sa ilalim ng pison.

THROWBACK: BAKIT DI KO NAMIMISS ANG PAGIGING SINGLE

Kung mapapansin ninyo, medyo matagal tagal na rin akong hindi nagpapakakeso dito sa tahanan kong ito.

Meron man akong kasintahan ngayon, ay di ninyo mababasa dito ang aming mga misadventures.
Di yon dahil sa wala kaming ganun, meron naman, paminsan. Ngalang, syempre dahil medyo kakaiba ang set-up namin mas ninais ko itong isulat kung saan ang nakakabasa ay alam kong mas maiintindihan o makakarelate sa kalagayan namin.

Pero hindi tungkol samin ang post na ito. Gaya ng sabi ko, matagal na din akong hindi kumekeso dito.

Hindi ko namimiss ang pagiging single. At ito ang mga dahilan:

- Masarap gumising sa mga text na "i love you' at 'i miss you'
- Magaan sa loob na kapag di maganda ang araw mo may mahihingahan ka
- At pag maganda naman ang nangyari sayo'y may makukwentuhan ka
- Masarap ang may kayakap at kahawakan ng kamay
- Nag-aaway man kayo, mas masarap yung feeling pagkatapos ninyong magbati
- Nakakatuwang magplano
- Mas nakakatuwa pag natutupad ang mga ito
- Kahit minsan di kaaya-aya ang boses ng kasintahan mo, masarap pa ring pakinggan ang awit nito, dahil alam mong para sa'yo
- Meron kang kausap bago matulog, pagkagising
- Walang tatalo sa pakiramdam dahil alam mong mayroong nagmamahal sa'yo

Marami pang dahilan kung bakit di ko namimiss ang pagiging single. Andyan yung naiinggit sa inyo yung hanggang ngayon wala pang nakikilala (biro lang).

Hindi naman sa lahat ng araw ang isang relasyon ay puros 'rainbows and butterflies.' Minsan dadaan kayo sa mga pagsubok. Magkakapikunan. Magkakasawaan.Pero ang maganda dyan, pag mahalaga sa'yo ang isang tao, alam mong lahat yun ay lilipas din, at bukas paggising mo mahal mo pa rin ito.

Aaminin ko, minsan namimiss ko ang pagiging single.

Pero wala talagang tatalo pag may nagmamahal sa'yo.

ANYTHING COULD HAPPEN

So do you want to break up? The Kid asked the last time we fought.

The last three years and three months have been a roller coaster ride for our relationship. There have been too many ups as much as lows in our love affair.

What lit up the fuse this  time as in most of our fights has been about his attitude. You see when you're young, you have this sense of entitlement to things you deserve. And when he does not get what he wants careerwise, his personality switches to a spoiled kid who gets everything he wants and throws tantrums if things don't go his way.

Being the adult, I try to be patient and give some words from personal experience to at least calm him down. But the last time, something in me snapped. I have personal issues at work and at home and the last thing I want is to deal with a child with an outburst.

I feel there is something missing in my life, he tells me.

Do you want to look for that missing thing? I asked.

What do you mean?

You're missing something, I'm not sure I am enough to fill that piece in your life. I am asking you if you want to look for it elsewhere.

Are you breaking up with me? He asked.

Am I, I asked myself. Should I? Do I not love this Kid anymore? Have my patience reached it's end.

The problem with you is that you don't listen to me. I support you, but there are some things that we have to consider realistically. I am always behind you, but you have to consider you're not the only one with problems, and what you're going through is not big enough to warrant this kind of emotions. It's not heavy a baggage. What you need is patience. Something you're draining me of.  I have problems of my own too, and you never seen me throw a fit.

I just get tired of dealing with you.

There was a pause.

Do you want to break up with me? he asked again.

I asked myself, do I still love him.

In the three years that we've been together, he has grown a lot. I might say he has matured. The nine year age gap shows sometimes when we tell each other what we want from one another. I have grown accustomed to his company. My parents treat him like their other child. And I know that he really really loves me.

Do you want to be free of me? He asked of me one more time. He was tearing up this time.

I don't know what I will do without you. He pleads.

When we entered the relationship, we promised each other to stick to one another.

I love him.

And I choose to keep my promise.

KUNG MAGMAMAHAL KA NG BLOGGER

Hindi naman sa hindi ko gusto ang magmahal ng blogger. Kung alam niyo lang kung gaano karami ang kras kong mahuhusay na manunulat sa mundo ng blogosperyo, hindi mo aakalain na nagkaroon ako ng failed relationship sa isang kapwa blogero.

Pero marami ring dapat pagnilay-nilayan kung sakaling dumating ang panahon na magdesisyon ka na magmahal ng blogger.  Maraming dapat paghandaan.

• Hindi dahil lahat ng hinahanap mo sa isang tao ay nakita mo sa mga sinulat niya ay yun talaga ang personalidad niya. Lahat ng tao, blogger o hindi, kailangan ibenta ang sarili para magkainteres sa kanya ang mga taong gusto niya. Dapat bago ka pumasok sa relasyon sa isang manunulat ay kilalanin mo muna siya ng todo todo. Hindi yung dahil nagmeet na kayo ng isang beses, nagkatext o nagtatawagan araw-araw ay pwede nang maging kayo.
• Dapat maintindihan mo na hindi lang ikaw ang nagkakacrush sa crush mo. Kung ikaw ang maswerteng nilalang na napili ng blogger crush mo, kailangan handa kang sumailalim sa mapanghusgang mga mata ng "fans" ng kablog mo. Handa kang machismis. Handa kang malait. At kung sisiraan nila ang "mahal" mo, ay dapat tanggap mo kung ano ang mga maririnig mo.
• Siguraduhin mong hindi ka magiging kabit. Totoong, kung kabit ka, mas marami kang maisusulat na mga interesanteng bagay. Siguro mas sisikat ka. Siguro mas mahal ka niya. Pero at the end of the day, kabit ka. May sinasaktan ka. At maraming tao ang mag-iisip na medyo tanga ka. Tandaan, sa panahong ito, ang KARMA ay digital na.
• Kapag blogger ang mahal mo, masarap na mababasa mong sinusulat niya ay tungkol sa'yo. Pero pagdating ng panahon na wala na kayo, dapat handa ka na mabasa na kahit siya ang may kasalanan kung bakit kayo naghiwalay, ikaw pa rin ang magiging kontrabida. Na ang isusulat niya tungkol sa inyo, sa kanya mapupunta ang simpatya ng kanyang mga mambabasa. Dapat handa kang basahin sa blog niya lahat ng mga pagkukulang mo. Dahil blog niya yun, siya dapat ang bida... kahit siya ang may sala. Mayroon nga, aminadong plagiarist pero nagawa pa niyang paikutin ang kanyang mga salita at kahit papaano, siya pa rin ang kawawa.
• At higit sa lahat, kung sakaling hindi na kayo, darating ang panahon na ang isusulat niya ay tungkol sa bago niyang nakilala. Ang bagong nagpapatibok ng puso niya. Ang tunay na "the one" para sa kanya. Dapat handa kang basahin iyon, kahit ikaw hindi pa nakaka move on.

Hindi ko sinasabing masamang magmahal ng isang manunulat. Tatlong taon na kami ni Kasintahan, at sa palagay ko ay masaya pa rin kami. At hindi lahat ng blogger ay ganyan, maraming tahimik pagdating sa pag-ibig. Dahil sa totoo lang, mas masayang hindi nailalathala ang lahat ng tungkol sa isang relasyon.  

Masarap talagang magmahal. Sa blogger man o hindi.

Basta wala kang nasasaktan, at masaya ka, walang masama na magmahal.