TUNGKOL SA MGA KWENTO NG PAG-IBIG

Kung naging mabait ba ang madrasta't kapatid ni Cinderella, mamahalin ba natin siya? Kung di ba kinagat ni Snow White ang mansanas, magugustuhan ba natin siya? Kung si Beast ba ay naging isang karaniwang prinsipe lang, mapapansin ba natin ang kwento nila ni Belle?

Masarap basahin ang mga kwento ng pag-ibig. Masarap pakinggan. Lalo na yung mga kwentong hango sa tunay na buhay, at yung mga nagtatapos ng masaya. Natututo tayong maniwala.

Pero sa likod ng itinakdang halik. Bago natin marinig yung tatlong salitang gusto nating marinig. Yung mga tao sa likod ng mga kwentong ito, marami silang pinagdaanan. Merong mga magaganda, at merong malulungkot. Masaya yung magaganda, pero ibang klase rin pag malungkot na. Sino ba ang hindi dumaan sa problema? Tungkol sa ex, sa mga kumplikasyon, mga kaibigang di sumasang-ayon, sa drama, lahat ng susubok kung gaano katibay ang pundasyon ng inyong relasyon.

Pero gaano man tayo nasasaktan, nahihirapan sa lahat ng iyon, ito yung mga sangkap na nagpapaganda sa ating kwento ng pag-ibig.

Kung sabihin ko sa inyo na ang kwento namin ng kasintahan ko ay simple lang, nagkakilala, nainlove at nagkatuluyan, siguro mabuburyo kayo. Ako man, mababato. Siguro kung ganun nga ang nangyari, dalawang buwan na akong single ulit. Di ko man kinukwento dito, pero ilang beses akonog nalungkot, umiyak, nasaktan at nadepress bago naging kami. Pero ayus lang. wala akong pinagsisihan, sa huli lahat ng aking pinagdaanan ay nasulit.

Sa mga kwento ng pag-ibig, ang importante lang naman ay tayo ay naniwala, naghanap, nagmahal at lumaban para dito.

Tungkol doon naman talaga ang mga kwento ng pag-ibig, di ba?

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Ito'y para sa mga naniniwala, naghahanap at lumalaban para sa pag-ibig.

Sa mga naghahanap ng dahilan para ngumiti.

ON LOVE STORIES

Would Cinderella be beloved if she didn't have those cruel stepmother and sisters? Would we still like Snow White if she didn't bite that poisoned apple? If the Beast was a normal prince, would Beauty and the Beast be interesting?

Love stories, the real life ones, are very interesting to listen to. To read about. It gives us hope. Make us believe. It's always great, specially if they ended happily.

But behind the destined kiss. Before those three words are sincerely uttered. The people behind them, they go through love's ups and downs. The ups are always great, but just as well are the downs. The partners exes, complications, the baggages, our friends who disagree, anything that's attached when it comes to gay relationships, all these things that test how strong the foundations of love have been built upon.

No matter how bad that makes us feel about our relationships, it's what makes our love stories great.

If my love story consisted of meeting and falling for my kid, you'd probably get bored. Heck, I'd be bored and might already be single two months ago. Yeah, I cried alot before we became what we are. Yeah several goodbyes were attempted, and they were each equally depressing. But that's fine. In the end it was all worth it. All these things, they're just spices that make our stories interesting.

On love stories, what's important is we believe, we found, we loved, and we fight for it.

Isn't that what love stories are all about?

********************
For those who believe, look and fight for love.

For those looking for someone who'll make them smile.

BAKIT DI KO NAMIMISS ANG PAGIGING SINGLE

Kung mapapansin ninyo, medyo matagal tagal na rin akong hindi nagpapakakeso dito sa tahanan kong ito.

Meron man akong kasintahan ngayon, ay di ninyo mababasa dito ang aming mga misadventures.
Di yon dahil sa wala kaming ganun, meron naman, paminsan. Ngalang, syempre dahil medyo kakaiba ang set-up namin mas ninais ko itong isulat kung saan ang nakakabasa ay alam kong mas maiintindihan o makakarelate sa kalagayan namin.

Pero hindi tungkol samin ang post na ito. Gaya ng sabi ko, matagal na din akong hindi kumekeso dito.

Hindi ko namimiss ang pagiging single. At ito ang mga dahilan:

- Masarap gumising sa mga text na "i love you' at 'i miss you'
- Magaan sa loob na kapag di maganda ang araw mo may mahihingahan ka
- At pag maganda naman ang nangyari sayo'y may makukwentuhan ka
- Masarap ang may kayakap at kahawakan ng kamay
- Nag-aaway man kayo, mas masarap yung feeling pagkatapos ninyong magbati
- Nakakatuwang magplano
- Mas nakakatuwa pag natutupad ang mga ito
- Kahit minsan di kaaya-aya ang boses ng kasintahan mo, masarap pa ring pakinggan ang awit nito, dahil alam mong para sa'yo
- Meron kang kausap bago matulog, pagkagising
- Walang tatalo sa pakiramdam dahil alam mong mayroong nagmamahal sa'yo

Marami pang dahilan kung bakit di ko namimiss ang pagiging single. Andyan yung naiinggit sa inyo yung hanggang ngayon wala pang nakikilala (biro lang).

Hindi naman sa lahat ng araw ang isang relasyon ay puros 'rainbows and butterflies.' Minsan dadaan kayo sa mga pagsubok. Magkakapikunan. Magkakasawaan.Pero ang maganda dyan, pag mahalaga sa'yo ang isang tao, alam mong lahat yun ay lilipas din, at bukas paggising mo mahal mo pa rin ito.

Aaminin ko, minsan namimiss ko ang pagiging single.

Pero wala talagang tatalo pag may nagmamahal sa'yo.

WOULD YOU STILL LIKE ME

when you find out I have these weird habits?

I LET MY ALARM SNOOZE 4 TIMES BEFORE I WAKE UP... I love to sleep, and don't normally look forward to going to work.

WHEN SLEEPING MY FEET SHOULD ALWAYS BE ELEVATED... I don't know if I'm the only one who does this, but I have to have a pillow under my feet when I sleep. Either that or I place my feet on the walls. Specially when I'm tired.

I LIKE PUTTING CHEESE ON MY RICE... Whether it's the cheese spread or I grate cheese, I want my rice to have flavor. The viand is usually not enough for me. But I do this more when the ulam has tomato sauce on it... parang spaghetti lang.

SPEAKING OF EATING... I'm not used to eating on the table with people. I tend to eat on my own other than the dining table. Even if we're having a family dinner, I often eat away from my family. Usually in front of the television or computer.

I CANNOT LEAVE MY HOUSE WITHOUT A SIGN PEN... I have no use for it other than at work, but I always bring a pen with me whenever I go out. My take on it, there will be a time that I'll be signing autographs for fans.

I SLEEP WITH PILLOWS ALL AROUND ME... I think I need six pillows to sleep peacefully. Pamalit kasi wala akong yinayakap... huhuhu

I DON'T LIKE THE TASTE OF SOFTDRINKS... I know it's not a weird habit, but it's just weird. I don't like how coke, sprite or whatever softdrinks feel in my mouth. That's why I don't drink too much of it. It's crazy i know, but at least it's healthy!!!

I LIKE TO TALK BACKWARDS SOMETIMES... I usually do this when I'm alone. It's my secret language. Something like this: oka is treblig. oti ya gnasi driew gniht tuoba em. And I can do it quickly too.

SOMETHING ABOUT PLATE NUMBERS... When I'm commuting, I always look at plate numbers, and I always list down the first letters of plate numbers of cars until I complete the alphabet. But until now, I've never seen a car whose plate number starts with the letters O and Q.

I TALK TO MYSELF... That's because I'm semi-autistic. I'm used to talking to myself. I oftentimes interview myself, whenever I'm alone. No I'm not crazy, but when you're an only child with practically no one to talk to when you're growing up, chances are you'd be like me. Di ako baliw... autistic lang... minsan.

So there's mine. I think I've humiliated myself enough already with this list. What are your weird habits?

***************

By the by, me and the kid are officially celebrating our third month together today!! I know I told myself and the kid, that I won't count. But I can't help it. Every month's a record breaker for this relationship.

KWENTONG FOREIGNER

Laging tinatanong sa akin ng aking kasintahan kung bakit daw ang bahay namin eh laging may bisita. Palagi ko kasing nakukwento na meron mga balikbayan na nakikitira samin paminsan minsan (lately parang once a month).

Ewan ko ba, yung bahay namin, medyo nagiging transient house ng mga Amerikano, balikbayan, galing probinsya at kung sinu-sino pa. Hindi naman siya kalakihan, ngalang, malapit sa airport.

So naisip ko magkwento ng mga kwentong transient house ngayong post na ito. Mga paborito kong bisita.

OLA
Si Ola ang pinakahuli naming bisita. Kaninang umaga lang siya bumalik. Sa pagkakaalam ko, galing siyang North Carolina. Isa siyang itim, na may nakitang Pilipinang mapapangasawa.

Ang masuwerteng nilalang na iyon, ay papangalanan nating si Rodora (her real name). Maliit siya, maganda, mukhang disente.

Nagkakilala sila sa isang online dating site yata. Hindi ko alam, at kaya pumunta dito si Ola ay para makilala ang kanyang nobya. Dumating siya noong isang linggo.

Wala akong masyadong kwento sa kanya kasi di ko siya nakakausap. Lagi lang silang nagkukulong sa kwarto.

Eto lang, noong unang gabi nila sa bahay namin. Mga hatinggabi o madaling-araw ata yun. Kwento sakin ng nanay ko, nagising daw siya kasi medyo maingay sa taas. Parang may bukas na gripo. nang inakyat ng nanay ko, ayun yung dalawa sa banyo. Naglalaba.

Namantsahan daw ng dugo yung aming bed sheet.

Di na kami nagtanong. Pero feeling namin, di kinaya ni Rodora si Ola.
***************

CLAYTON
Naisulat ko na siya noon. Isang Featured Friend. Kamukha kasi ni Zac Efron.

Ganun din yung kwento, although hindi siya yung naghahanap ng mapapangasawa kundi yung tatay niya.

Malas lang nila, yung nakilala nila, eh yung renter namin dati na hustler na si Rowena. (Ang daming nabiktimang foreigner nun, sayang at yung iba ay may hitsura pa naman).

Anyway, kaya memorable sakin yung pagbisita nila sa ating bansa ay dahil, naging tourist guide nila ako.

At dahil all boys kami noong nagguide ako, eh hiniling nilang dalhin ko sila sa isang bar na may nagsasayaw na mga babae... na nakahubad!!!

Syempte, medyo nahirapan ako dun dahil ano ba naman ang interes ko sa mga babaeng nakahubad, diba?! Buti na lang, yung kapitbahay ko, sanay sa mga ganun.

Dinala ko sila sa Binibini sa Baclaran. Dun namin nakilala si Ana... Margaritahhhhh (kelangan may pause at h talaga pag sinasabi ang pangalan niya) na kamukha ni Mystica. Tapos naglaplapan sila ng tatay sa harap ko. Pinapahawak pa sakin ni Ana Margarita yung dibdib niya. Medyo nawala ako sa sarili ko. Hindi ko kinaya!!! Umalis na kami nung may mga jejemon nang nagsayaw (nagulat ako dahil may mga lalake ding sumasayaw sa bar na yun... hiphop nga lang).
***************

CANTRELL FAMILY
Merong kasabihan 'everything is bigger in Texas', at pagdating sa Cantrell Family, totoong totoo yang kasabihan na yan.

Isang pamilya sila na puros bigatin. Sa sobrang bigatin yung tatay at yung uncle, hindi kasya sa pintuan namin.

Sila na yata ang pinakamalalaking taong nakilala ko sa buong buhay ko. Six footer at siguro nasa 400 lbs sila. Tatlo ata yung ganun, sa pagkakaalala ko. Hindi nga sila nagkasya sa kama namin. Sa sahig sila lahat natulog.

Ang malala pa nun, pag gabi, parang may bapor at tren na nagbanggaan sa sobrang lakas ng hilik nila. Sarado na ang pinto at bintana ko nun, pero kahit anong lakas ng ulan sa labas, dinig na dinig ko pa din ang hilik nila.

Nasa kolehiyo pa lang ako nun. Dun ko ata unang naranasan ang insomnia.
***************

UNCLE FRANK
Medyo madrama ang kwento ng buhay nito. Sa tingin ko patay na siya, kasi dumating siya sa amin mga 80's pa ata. Noong panahon na yun eh nasa 70's na ang edad niya.

Dumating siya para pakasalan yung katulong namin. Eh yung katulong na iyon, medyo playgirl. Pinagsasabay niya si Uncle Frank atsaka yung isang tricycle driver sa village namin.

Eto naman si matanda aanga anga. Niloloko na siya, wala pa ring pakialam. Siguro ganun din kasi siya.

Paano kasi, noong bata ako, yung mga katulong namin puros magaganda. Hayun, lahat minamanyak. Kinukunan ng picture. Hinahalikan. Dinadakma ang pwet. Yung mga dalaga naman, makire, pinagsasamantalahan na, kinikilig pa rin. Kunsabagay, marami ding nabigay samin yung matandang iyon.

Pero ang di ko makakalimutan, may dala siyang harmonica noon. Tapos gusto niya akong turuan, pero nilalayo ako ng tito ko, kasi daw baka magka-AIDS ako. Pag hihiramin ko daw yung silindro niya, hugasan ko muna ng mabuti.

Ako naman, dahil bata, at nauuso pa lang noon ang AIDS, syempre natakot ako.
***************

Hay, ang dami pang kwentong ganyan. Ang dami pang naging bisita. May Hapon. May Koreanong retarded (as in mentally challenged). May dalawang kyut na Pranses. Tsaka yung mga naloko ng renter namin na si Rowena.

Pag may pagkakataon, ikukwento ko lahat iyon.

A STRAIGHT POST FOR A CHANGE: GAMING

I have both next gen consoles, the PS3 and the XBox 360 (I actually have 2 of this one).

Both were purchased on impulse. I bought the XBox because I thought it's such a shame I can't play the titles I've already bought before my first one broke down. And the PS3, well that one was my consolation for backing out from buying a condominium unit.

So anyway, aside from my 'kid', this is the other thing that's keeping me from bloghopping as much as I did before. This is who you should thank, for Engel not being a blog whore anymore.

And here are my favorite games, in no particular order:

RED DEAD REDEMPTION (XBOX 360)
This was the last game I played before writing this post. I love sandbox games and this is one of the best out there. Imagine you're an ex-outlaw during the end or start of the 1900's. You ride horses to get to towns. You hunt for bandits. You kill wolves, cougars, foxes, vultures. You tame wild horses. Oh, and you also take part in a civil war in Mexico and journey a long way to find your ex-partners. I love this game.

GRAND THEFT AUTO IV (XBOX 360 / PS3)
If there's a game I love more than Red Dead Redemption, that would be Grand Theft Auto IV. I started this on my XBox, but unfortunately my first console broke down. Now that I have a PS3, I thought why not continue Niko Bellic's quest for revenge on my new console. Here, you take a tour of virtual New York (called Liberty City). Drive people around for your cousin, and along the way beat up gangsters, fuck women, listen to the radio, watch television, ride helicopters, and even watch stand up comedians in their shows. God, listening to the radio alone is already worth what you paid for in this game.

ELDER SCROLLS IV OBLIVION (XBOX 360 / PS3)
I loved GTA IV, because there are hundreds of things to do in that game. Elder Scrolls on the other hand gives you a thousand of things to occupy your time. My geek out title. This is a massive RPG title that lets you customize your character, clothes, weapons, magic, basically everything. Playing about 50 hours of this game, I've already forgotten about the main story. I'm just in awe with some of the most beautiful and spectacular sceneries in a video game. Ever. This might be boring for some, but these are my kinds of games.

MASS EFFECT SERIES (XBOX 360)
Speaking of beautiful games. This one is just absolutely gorgeous in all aspects. The gameplay is easy. The story, epic. The characters, pretty (you know I'm gay when I'm adding the words pretty in a post about video games). It's just one of the most engaging games I have played in my many years of playing console games. This is an RPG that's set in outer space. It doesn't allow you the freedom of exploring as say, GTA or RDR, but still when you're following the story of Commander Shephard and his crew of awesome space soldiers, you won't be able to do anything else but just play. You'd be surprised you've been playing it for 18 hours already. Jaw dropping, I say.

FINAL FANTASY XIII (PS3)
Just because I've played almost all the titles since Final Fantasy VII came out, I'm adding this. But that doesn't mean it's not a good game, because for awhile, this was the only thing I was playing on my new console. I just got tired a bit of playing only one title. I think I have ADHD. Anyway, this is another beautiful game. The one thing you could say that Squaresoft is great at in any of their video games, it's making one hell of a CGI movie. Everytime I see one, I can't help but just be in awe. Yeah, the lines are cheesy, campy or whatever, but this is why we play Japanese RPG's. This is what they're known for.

UNCHARTED 2: AMONG THIEVES (PS3)
I never thought it would be possible to fall in love with a video game character. But when I played this title, damn! Nate Drake is one sexy thief. He's funny. Good looking. Smart. He knows darn difficult acrobatics. Unfortunately, not one second in the ten hour game did he take his clothes off. In fact, as the game gets deeper, he put on more clothes. Damn snow!!! I hate games set in cold places. They suck. This one is an exception though. This was the first (make that only) game I've finished in PS3. Ten hours of great visuals, great acting, awesome gameplay. I don't know, it's just good! No, it's better than good, it's absolutely fantastic!

GEARS OF WAR 2 (XBOX 360)
This is my macho game. Marcus Phoenix, an ex-convict off to war to destroy Locust aliens who've taken over the planet. This is another epic game. The second of a trilogy. Everything about this game is big. From your character, to your weapons, to those fricking huge aliens. Big. The first title was the reason I was almost imprisoned (that's an exagerration). But yeah, I can't help it. The game's so engaging, I didn't find it troubling playing it in the middle of the night, with the speakers almost on full volume. It's a loud game, what with all the shooting and shouting. But damn this one's awesome! One of the best exclusive games for the XBox. This game's worth explaining to barangay officials why I woke up half the neighborhood in the middle of a weeknight.

ASSASSIN'S CREED 2 (XBOX 360)
I like playing assassins. It's awesome being sneaky and stealthy and killing people behind their backs. Maybe I'm a backstabber in the making, I don't know. But there's a certain thrill in plunging a weapon on an unsuspecting victim. But that's not why I love playing AC2. Ezio's story is as engaging as all the other titles on this list, and it's got that sandbox feel again, which I love in my video games. But the one thing this title gives to me that others fail to do, is the feeling of vertigo. I love the feeling when you're perched on top of a tower looking over the grand cities/towns/land below you. And then jumping down to I don't know probably hundreds or thousands of feet. Just writing about it already gives me the jitters.

RESIDENT EVIL V (XBOX 360)
What's a favorite games list without including the original Survivor Horror series. Okay, I must admit this isn't the best title of the Resident Evil games (and I haven't actually finished it yet, shame on me), but still it's a game that makes you scream whenever you see a zombie (or a possessed native African) chasing after you with an ax. It's still scary.

Still have yet to play other games people have been raving about like Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriot (I'm scared to start this game), God of War 3, Heavy Rain on the PS3, and Alan Wake, Fallout 3 (can't find a copy for XBox or PS3 on this one) on XBox 360. But once I have the budget, I'll do that.

MGA PABORITO KONG BLOG

Maraming dahilan kaya nahuhook ang mga tao sa blogging.

Ako, mahilig akong magsulat kaya hanggang ngayon ipinagpapatuloy ko ito. Pero para sa ibang tao, mas masarap magbasa.

Madami kang natututunan. Maaaliw ka. Matatawa. Maiiyak. Mauubos ang oras.

Ang daming talentadong manunulat dito sa mundo ng blogosperyo. Sa isa kong tahanan, naibahagi ko na ang aking mga paboritong babasahin, siguro nararapat lang na dito din ay magbahagi ako ng aking mga paboritong kablog.

Mga manunulat na sobrang husay sa ginagawa nila na di ko mapigilan ang sarili ko't tuwing may update akong nakikita ay binibisita ko.

At ang iba pa'y naging maswerte ako't naging mga kaibigan ko.

Ito ang listahan ng mga paborito kong blog. In no particular order:

DONG HO - Tuwing meron kaming banyagang bisita sa bahay, lagi kong pinapakita ang blog nito. Sa mga nagtatanong kasi kung maganda nga ba ang mga isla sa Pilipinas, dito sa blog niya makikita mo ang sagot. Mula Caliraya, hanggang Cagbalete, hanggang Davao, masisilayan mo ang nakatagong ganda ng Pinas. Minsan nga, naiinggit ako't gusto kong sumama sa mga lakad nila sa labas ng Maynila, pero di ko magawa. Wala akong camera, pera at oras.

DOMJULLIAN - Eto si Kuya Dom ang isa sa mga taong paborito ko, hindi lang ang blog, kundi yung tao sa likod ng sinusulat nito. Nakilala niya ako dun sa isa kong tahanan, at tinanggap niya ng walang pag-aalinlangan kung sino ako. Mahilig yan magluto sa blog niya, pero mukhang walang balak ipatikim ang mga putahe niya sa mga mambabasa niya. Alam ko kung bakit
hanggang ngayon, hiatus mode pa rin yan. Pero hinahayaan ko lang, at least masaya siya.

AAJAO - Si Kuya Jon naman ang una kong Kuya dito sa blogosperyo. Kung meron mang
isang tao na nasundan ko ang buhay, siya na yun. Nakilala ko siya, single pa, ngayon kasal na't may anak pa. Binabasa ko yung blog niya noon dahil marami akong natututunan sa kanya. Kung pinagkakalat ko sa mga baguhang blogger ang kasabihang 'we write to express, not to impress' yun ay dahil tinuro niya sa akin yun nung bago pa lang ako. Oo, inuugat na siya sa blogosperyo.

CHYNG - Ang nag-iisang babaeng active blogger sa listahan ko. Matagal ko nang kablog itong si Chyng, at medyo malaki na rin ang pinagbago ng kanyang tahanan. Noon magkapareho kami ng layout. Tapos di pa siya gaanong travel blogger. Pero ngayon, nag sasouth east asia trip na lang siya. Habang ako, napag-iwanan na. Eto lang, magkabuilding kami noon, pero ni minsan hindi kami nagkita.

COLDMAN - Kakaunti lang ang blog crush ko dito (sa kabila madami) at isa siya sa mga ito. 2008 pa ako sumusunod sa mga adventures nitong manunulat/photographer/boy-next-door-blogger na ito. Sayang nga lang at nasa Estados Unidos siya, kaya di sya madaling mahagilap. Ang balita ay malapit na si Coldman umuwi dito. Sana pagdating niya eh, ayain ako nito kapag makikipagkita siya sa mga kaibigan nitong kapwa blogero. Feeling close lang.

KOKEYMONSTER - Sa blogosperyo, merong mga manunulat na pilit kung magpatawa, pag binasa mo naman, walang kwenta. Merong sobrang malalim na kahit tinatagalog ka na, magdurugo pa rin ilong mo. Si Efbee, di siya ganun. May lalim ang mga post niya, pero pag binasa mo matatawa ka sa mga kwento niya.

PROFESSIONAL HECKLER - Isa ito sa mga pinakapaborito kong pinoy site ngayon. Minsan pa nga, ito ang aking source ng nagbabagang balita. Technically, hindi siya blog, pero dahil nakapublish siya sa isang blogsite, technically pasado siya sa listahan ko. Patunay na gustung-gusto ko tong site na ito, eh last year, siya ang aking pinakapaboritong website sa year-end
best of list ko. Minsan na niyang binisita ang blog ko, kaya natutuwa ako. Minsan nakong nabisita ng isang celebrity blogger.

GASOLINE DUDE - Matagal na akong fan nitong blogger na ito. Di pa man siya nangingibangbansa. Nakakarelate kasi ako sa mga sinusulat niya noon. Tapos, marami pa kaming pagkakahalintulad. Gwapo. Matalino. Nagtatrabaho sa gasolinahan. Only child. Pero di siya bading. Ako lang yun. Medyo madrama ang buhay nitong si Gasul, pero gayunpaman, ang gusto ko sa blog niya ay kahit may mga pagsubok na dumadaan sa buhay niya, positibo pa rin
siya at di ka hahawahan ng depresyon di tulad ng ibang bloggers dyan.

UTAKMUNGGO - Isa sa mga pinakanakakatawang babaeng manunulat na nabasa ko sa
blogosperyo. Ang kanyang mga adventures kasama ng kanyang pamilya sa Britanya ang
isa sa mga pinakaaabangan kong post noon. Sayang at naadik siya sa plurk at di na
ito masyadong nagsusulat sa blog. Di ako nabobore pag tumatambay ako sa tahanan niya. Ang kulit kasi.

At...

RAFT3R - Si Denoi, di ko kaya gawin ang ginagawa nito. Sa blog niya, ang mantra niya ata ay Keep It Short and Spectacular. Di siya ganobela kung magsulat. Pero nasasapul niya ang gusto niyang tamaan. Akala ko noon, suplado to, kasi parang rich kid, pero mabait pala. Tatak ng tunay na Bedista.

Marami pa sa totoo lang. Pag mapapansin mo ang kumento ko sa bawat post ng blogger na
iyon, tiyak na paboritong blog ko yun.

Pasensya na, at di ko malink yung mga blog nila. Hanapin niyo na lang dyan sa gilid.
Nakakapagod kasi maglink. Sampung website din yun.

ON ATTRACTION

I've always been honest in my blog. Specially when it comes to my looks. Take away people's expectations.

On the scale of 1 to 10 I'm probably a 5 or a 6. When I was younger, a 9 (okay, 7.5).

Anyway, I'm not attractive. Not so much.

Anymore.

I have this theory though, one way to boost your 'attractiveness' is to be in a relationship.

I don't know, but somehow people are attracted to me more when I'm with someone as compared to when I was single. This is based on experience.

I wrote this before, way back when I was starting with this blog. The one time I was on a date, there were a few people who showed interest in me. One even had to show off his dick while we were in the restroom.

It happened again today. On my way home, someone actually sought me out, sat beside me, and ran his fingers on my arms. And he actually flirted with me a little.

Normally, I would've punched the living daylights out of that guy. But he was kinda hot. If only he wasn't too effeminate. I'm not a hypocrite, I like the feeling of being attractive.

I have no plans on cheating on my 'kid'. The guy asked for my details, and I gave him fake ones. I hope he did not text or call the number I gave him. Jonathan does not exist.

I honestly don't know how attraction works. Why these things happen. It may be because I'm too happy with the relationship, that it manifests itself in me physically. It could be the thrill of chasing ang conquering someone's property. Who knows, maybe I really am attractive.

I don't know.

One of life's mysteries, I guess.

BUSINESS AS USUAL

Bago magbalik sa Business As Usual si Gillboard, nais ko munang sabihin ito: "Sa lahat ng nagkumento, nagtext, nag e-mail, nag-ym sakin nitong mga nakalipas na araw, MARAMING SALAMAT sa inyong lahat.

Narealize ko lang yung bigat nung ginawa ko nang mabasa/marinig ko ang mga sinabi ninyo.

Di niyo alam kung gaano ninyo pinagaan ang loob ko sa words of encouragement at suporta na pinakita ninyo sa akin mapa-Gillboard man o Engel.

Thank you.

***************

Ang nanay ko masyado nang nahumaling sa Facebook, pati YM, tinatanong na niya sa akin.

Paano daw magbukas ng YM? Kasi gusto daw niyang makachat ang ilan niyang mga kaklase/ kamag-anak / ex sa internet.

Hindi ako sumasagot. Hindi ko siya pinapansin. Sigurado akong lalong hindi nun tatantanan ang PC kung mangyari yun.

Eh 10 years pa naman yun kung magtype. Nobela kasi yung kung magkwento. Multiple
wall post kung minsan lalo na kung magcomment sa picture. Nanalalaglag pa. Kakahiya!!!

Buti na lang talaga di kami friends.

(Tutal alam niyo na rin naman ang lahat, yung site na nabisita niya na pinapahanap niya nung nakaraan... ako yung unang nagbukas nun. hahaha)

Lagot ngalang ako kung binubuksan niya pati itong blog ko, dahil katabi lang nito yung facebook niya sa mga picture/link sa google chrome.

***************

Hay.

Ang saya magsulat.

INTIMACY

"Are you sure you want to do this?" I asked.

He gave me a smile and a nod.

"You know you don't have to," I said

"I want to make you happy."

**********
"Isa lang ang hihingin ko sa'yo," sabi ko sa kanya. Kakatapos lang ng lahat ng drama sa pagitan naming dalawa. We were finally a couple.

"What?" tanong niya.

"I just want to hear you say 'I love you' at least once a day," hiling ko.

"Yun lang pala. Wala na bang mas hihirap pa dun?" biro niya.

**********
We kissed. A long one. Passionate. I hugged him tighter. It has been awhile.

I did not want to forget the feeling of his body next to mine.

I know he felt the same. He hugged me tight too.

**********
"I'm giving you the freedom to fuck whoever you want, habang ganito pa tayo." sabi niya.

"What, you mean open relationship?" tanong ko.

"Oo."

Di nako nagsalita. Nabwisit ako sa sinabi niyang iyon.

"Wui. Dyan ka pa?"

"Mmm," sagot ko.

**********
I ran my fingers on his face. Like painting his features in my head. It might take awhile before I see him again.

He was staring at me.

"Smile," he told me.

I obliged. Like a child, he hugged me again.

He whispered, "I love you." He looked at me again. Playful this time.

I gestured for him to kiss me.

**********
"Kunico might be coming back from Japan next month," sabi niya.

"Imeet mo siya?" tanong ko.

"I don't know. I'm confused." sagot niya.

Siya yung ex na alam kong minahal niya. Muntik na silang magkaanak. Siguro kung nagkatuluyan sila, malabong naging kami.

"Basta, dyan ka lang ha, the next few weeks I'll be super busy na with school. Baka di na tayo makakapag-usap ng ganito during that time."

"Okay," yan lang ang kayang isagot ko.

**********
I came first. Could be the age. Could be the overenthusiasm. But I came first.

"Want me to give you head?" he asked.

"No," I protested, "I'm okay."

He didn't let me finish. Still wet, he went down.

The few bobs he did was good. I was delirious. But he stopped.

I looked at him.

**********
"Ang labo mo! Mamaya na tayo mag-usap!" sabi niya sabay baba ng telepono.

Hindi ko na maalala kung ano ang pinag-awayan namin.

Ilang oras din siyang hindi nagparamdam.

"Sorry," sabi ng text niya.

Di ko na talaga maalala kung ano yung di namin napagkasunduan.

**********
He looked like a kid who tasted semen for the first time. Well he did.

I laughed.

The poor kid.

"I told you you don't have to do that." I motioned for him to come closer. I hugged him.

"I don't think I could do that again," he confessed.

"Awww. It's okay." I kissed him and let him lie on my chest.

"Thank you," I whispered.

"I love you," he said.

All the doubts I had before are now gone.
He does love me.

OO NA GANUN AKO PERO

Ito na ang huling pagkakataon upang ako'y magsusulat tungkol sa aking isang personalidad. Bagamat nasabi ko ang totoo, wala pa ring magbabago sa mga post na malalathala dito.

Merong mga tanong bakit ko sinabi? Bakit ngayon? Sa totoo lang wala naman talagang dahilan kung bakit ko nilathala yung nabasa ninyo noong weekend. Kung nabasa ninyo ang post ko sa kabila, spontaneous lang. Sinusurpresa ang sarili. At para maging fair na rin sa lahat. Ang dami na rin namang nakakaalam.

Ngunit... bago pa man kayo makabuo ng opinyon ninyo tungkol sa akin, marami akong dapat klaruhin tungkol sa personalidad ko. Marami nang nakakita sa akin. Merong dahilan kaya laki nang gulat nilang malaman yung totoo.

Opo, gay ako pero...

HINDI AKO NAGSUSUOT NG DAMIT PAMBABAE

Ni minsan di ko pinangarap na maging babae ako. Di lahat ng bading eh pinapangarap maging babae. Ayos na akong ganito. At ni minsan di ko nakikita ang sarili ko sa loob ng pambabaeng damit. Kadiri kaya!!!

DI KO GUSTONG TINATAWAG NA 'GIRL' 'SIS' 'BADETTE' 'BAKLA'

Wala namang tumatawag sa akin ng ganyan. Di rin naman kasi ako kilos bading. At siguro isa na rin yung kokonti lang yung kaibigan kong ganun. Kaya walang tumatawag sakin na ganun. Di naman siguro magiging issue sa akin yun, di lang ako lilingon pag tinawag mo akong ganyan.

DI AKO MAINGAY

Inuulit ko, di ako yung tipo ng bading na makikita ninyo sa parlor. Di sa masama yung ganun, pero hindi lang ako ganun. Sa mga nakakilala na sa akin ng personal, tahimik talaga ako. Pinaninindigan ko yun. May pagkasilahis ako.

DI AKO NAKAKAINTINDI NG GAY LINGO

Bilang ang mga kaibigan ko na bading. At lumaki akong puros barako ang mga kaibigan ko kaya di ako masyadong exposed sa ganung lengwahe. Yung mga simple, naiintindihan ko naman. Pero pag tuluy-tuloy na, wala na. Suko ako. Kung di ako nakakaintindi, mas lalo naman hindi ako nakakapagsalita. Di natural na manggaling sakin ang mga salitang 'chos' o 'churva'. Di bagay.

Salamat pala at sa dami ng nagkumento at nagreact sa huling post ko eh marami pa rin ang rumerespeto.

DAY FIVE: SURPRISE

"Sometimes we just have to surprise each other."

A good friend told me this the other day.

With what happened to me in the past few months, I think I've already filled my quota for my plan to have 10 spontaneous days for 2010. Some weren't written because I was lazy, and there are things that are better kept to ourselves.

But I promised to write of 10 spontaneous days, so in the blog world, this would be my fifth.
To you this may be the first time you'll be visiting this blog, and you stumbled here because I've linked this blog from my other home.

It might confuse you. What's the difference here and the other home? Why do I have to have two blogs? Why do I have to do this now? What's in it for me?

Read through the past posts, you'll probably understand.

This might seem familiar. You may have been here before. You might even be following both blogs already, you just didn't realize.

But just like the great Manny Pacquiao said, "now you know."

**********
To those who follow this blog and not the other one, you may need to visit this to understand better.

This is me being spontaneous.

There could be backlash. People might react negatively. Who knows. My officemates my read this and start spreading the news. I mean it doesn't matter, I'm not popular in the office.

Have I thought this through? NO.

Am I ready to face the consequences? I'm not really sure. We cross the bridge when we get there.

Is it really necessary? Not alot of people in the blogosphere know me personally, and those who do, most probably already know. And to be honest, I can keep this thing up for as long as I want, but it's a small world everyone's bound to know about it eventually.

So I guess, surprise!

MERON AKONG DALAWANG BLOG

Meron akong dalawang blog.

Ang isa'y tagalog
Ang isa nama'y ingles

Ang isa'y pampubliko
Pampubliko din naman yung ikalawa

Ang isa'y may 186 na sumusunod
Ang ikalawa nama'y may 128

Limang taon na ang una
Isang taon pa lang ang ikalawa

Ang isa'y puno ng kwento
Ang ikalawa'y laman ay opinyon

Ang una'y nababasa ng mga nakakakilala sakin
Habang ang ikalawa'y para sa mas kilala ako

Parehong laman ng blog ay katotohanan
Mas totoo nga lang ako sa isa

Sa una ako'y lumaki
Pero sa ikalawa ako nagmature

Halos nasabi ko na lahat sa ikalawa
Dito'y mayroon pang hindi nailalathala

Mayroon akong dalawang blog

Dalawang magkaibang mundo

Dalawang url

Dalawang estilo

Iisang tao

Ito ang una

At ito ang pangalawa

ENGEL TELLS ALL IN FIVE PARAGRAPHS

Let me be reminiscing this post. Engel's celebrating his first year of existence in the blogosphere.

Do you remember when he wrote using a third person's perspective? Yeah, that was stupid. He did it because he wanted this blog to sound a bit different from his straight blog. He got over it though, after he came back from his first hiatus.

How many hiatus did I actually go through in the span of a year? The first one was because I fell in love. The second was when I got my heart broken the first time by 'the kid.' And the last was when I just lost interest in some of the people on this side of the blogosphere. I honestly don't know if I'm going to go through another hiatus, I'm sure if that happens, I won't write about it no more. Anyway, I don't write as often as I'd like anymore anyway. Not here, and not in my other home. Maybe I ran out of things to say. Much has been said?

I initially had alot to say when I opened this blog. There is a reason why this was called a 'tell all.' This was where I was supposed to write without inhibitions. I wrote about other bloggers, myc crushes, my boss, my exes, the loves of my life. This is where I shared who I really am without fear of being judged, misinterpreted or misunderstood. I wanted this place so I can be me.

Apparently being me sometimes tend to get people to react differently. I've been called alot during the one year I've been writing. From brilliant, to stupid, to being defensive, people have called me many things. I've been told I'm too intense. Optimistic. Tactless. Funny. Desperate. Negastar. Heck there was even a time someone said, "I don't deserve to be loved." I welcome all of those opinions. I respect them. And I learn from them. That is the goal of writing, I believe, so you will learn. And I've learned a lot.

Did the one year change me? Definitely. Engel was supposed to be anonymous. Now, I've met alot of my fellow bloggers 'round the world wide web. Making connections. Building relationships. Even as far as entering a 'relationship.' I've become a bit more spontaneous, specially this year. I've done alot of stupid things during those days of spontaneity. Some of them are major fails, but you know, that's how I could say I lived. The best part is, I started writing here as a single guy, chronicling my single life. But now I can't stop bragging about having a love life. Yeah, that last line's making me smile.

All that, and it's still six days before this blog turns one.