The last time Engel was inside the church on a Sunday was July of 2004. Five years. And prior to that, the last time he went to church on a Sunday would be in high school. Or maybe grade school, Engel doesn't remember. Well, probably high school, so he could then go out with his friends after.
That doesn't mean he doesn't go to church. On the contrary, back in college he was a patron of St. Jude (specially during the midterms and finals season). That's how he got through and finished college, prayer.
He's not an atheist. He believes in God. He prays. He knows some of the saints and is familiar with alot of church songs. He just doesn't like going to Sunday mass. No particular reason, really.
He's probably not the only guy who does that. Not really sure where he got it from. His father's extremely religious. Always going to mass on Sundays. Their family were really like that. Maybe Engel got that from his mother. She's a non-practicing Catholic, but that's because she really wasn't originally a Christian. But then again, his mom sometimes goes with his dad to church. Engel doesn't... ever.
Upon realization, he thinks the reason why he doesn't go to church, is that he'll only be committing more sins there. He'll probably just scan for guys that he likes. He might just sleep through the sermon, and probably not listen to the words that will be said. He doesn't even remember the parts of the mass. He'll definitely condemn himself more to eternal damnation if he goes there.
The thing is, although he doesn't hear mass on Sundays. He does go to church. He goes to St. Jude to pray. To say thanks. To talk to God. To say sorry for his shortcomings. He appreciates his blessings. Whenever he can, he pays the good things he receives forward to other people. And when he does go to church or to mass, he makes sure that he focuses only on the person up there.
Engel's not a churchgoer, probably never will be. But then that's because he doesn't really believe that going to church will save your soul. He believes it all depends on you. How you live your life. You can always go to church regularly, but if you still do things that aren't necessarily good, then that devoids the whole hearing mass thing. It just makes one a hypocrite.
Upon realization, he thinks the reason why he doesn't go to church, is that he'll only be committing more sins there.
ReplyDeleteThat's exactly my rationale for not attending Mass. I would just end up heckling the priest in my head, criticizing his parochial outlook, and waiting for his interminable, boring sermon to end.
Besides, if God is omnipresent, then He can hear me wherever and whenever I call. Which isn't that often, anyway, because I don't want to bore God with my shallow complaints. I'm saving my calls for special occasions.
It is always the spirituality of the person that matters - his desire for harmony and balance. Religion is just a human invention.
ReplyDelete' it is people like you who knows how to profess faith the best who should go to church regularly.. porma at pakitang tao na lang kase halos ng mga churchgoers ngayon.. but i still say go to church every sunday.. it is an obligation to God.. find the church where you could best pray and the solemnity to commune with God.. it's only one hour of your week.. hearing Mass is the highest prayer, im sure you could find it in your heart to do it.. =)
ReplyDeleteI think 90% of the Roman Catholic population in the country are non-practicing Catholics. When I say non-practicing is that they don't go to church regularly AND they don't fully adhere to the church's doctrines. Reasons may vary: they see it plainly as a routine, or see it mor of an obligation to church as oppose to obligation to one's self, spiritually un-inspired etc.
ReplyDeleteI honestly believe that humans are born with an innate good nature in their hearts regardless if they have a religion or not. But, I also believe that a Supreme Being put it (good nature) it there.
I completely agree with you on this - "...but if you still do things that aren't necessarily good, then that devoids the whole hearing mass thing. It just makes one a hypocrite."
This is a nice post. Cheers!
pareho tayo ng ideology, i would make more sins inside the church compared to me just playing DotA on a sunday afternoon. i'm just keeping it real. but i pray, definitely, and i have my own ways of spending quality time with God.
ReplyDeleteand yes, i've always believed that when it all comes down to it, it's how you lived your life.
Upon realization, he thinks the reason why he doesn't go to church, is that he'll only be committing more sins there.- Agree! Hirap hindi manlait. Hehehe. Kaya ako pag nag ma mass na minsan lang din e nakaupo talaga sa unahan na unahan para walang ibang nakikita kundi si father.
ReplyDeleteAnd its all about deep faith and trust. Birthday ni Mama Mary mamaya, magsisimba ako. whew!
Hey, what you said here depicts reality. I cannot deny that I also share the same experiences as yours. But despite all these, I keep on pushing myself to hear mass regularly. Because my primary reason for going to church is clear: that is, to render at least an hour of my week to serve God, in the way that Jesus has taught us.
ReplyDeletePraying is good but overcoming your human weaknesses (of feeling unproductive hearing homilies, falling asleep during mass, becoming unattentive, etc.) would be better in showing Him that you are doing your best to nurture and deepen your Christian faith.
Come on, you can do it man. Live it the Christian way. :-) No pressure at this point but think about it.
i agree. church won't save you. faith will.
ReplyDeletei haven't been to church in a few months. my love for Him is still the same. it just feels a little different because i haven't been 'home' in a while. maybe it's time i start going to church again. :D
I always go to church on a weekly basis but not on a sunday. i don't hear the mass, I just pray.]
ReplyDeletebut it's true. dami temptation doon. sa sindihan pa lang nng kandila para ka na ring kandilang natutunaw sa init ng mga titig nila.
we share almost the same thing...
ReplyDeletedati mahilig ako magsimba. there was even a year that i didn't miss sunday mass and holy days of obligation. i stopped for a while pero ngayn balik ulit sa simba. iba pakiramdam after hearing mass. :D
ReplyDelete