NO INHIBITIONS

Before going to sleep this morning, I found myself backreading. I find it fascinating how much I grew up chronicling my life here. When I started posting stuff here, I was mostly ranting about how much my life sucked (that lessened as years went by). I rant about the dumbest things (my job, my age, my looks, my schedule). I think I wrote almost everything about my life in that blog.

But one thing I noticed is that even after I revealed alot about me here, I was never really able to write while I was in a relationship. The blog's existed for quite awhile now, and I've been in a couple of relationships after I started writing, but I was not able to write about it while in the midst of that relationship.

I have written about failed dates. Successful dates. Getting turned down. Turning down someone. I've written about courting people. I have chronicled details about my exes. But I never wrote anything about my relationship while I'm with that person.

I haven't written about how I asked someone out. I never wrote about feeling anxious waiting for a call after a fight. I've never written sweet moments with my exes. I haven't posted about the petty reasons why we fought and what we did after we made up. I'll never write details about our awesome sexy times. I never wrote how I felt when we broke up. I just didn't write anything.

I don't know, maybe I was afraid people would find that I suck in relationships. Maybe I was afraid that people would tell me I was the one at fault when we're fighting. Or maybe that people would find me 'mayabang' when I brag about how great a date went, while the rest of the blogosphere's suicidal because they're still single. I do know that when I was with somebody, I never really had the time to do anything else but focus most of my free time with that person.

Looking back, if I did write about the relationship, when we were having problems, maybe I could've saved it. Seeing how alot of readers were giving insights about what could be done to right a mistake, maybe it could've opened my eyes and and made me want to fight more for the love. Maybe I wouldn't be single anymore. Who knows, right?

But this is not me whinging about the past. This is about looking forward. This is what I meant when I wrote about the overhaul. I still wouldn't be posting about my sex life, it's something that's private and needs not be bragged about. But the point is, I'll be writing without inhibitions.

Of course, before I write about those things, I'd need to find myself the one.

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I wrote this when I opened the other blog. But seeing as the other home is already closed, I think it's high time I bring that old saying here.

Writing with no inhibitions.