MEN: WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT US

I think it's only fair, after me whining about women a couple of months ago to write about us men. While surfing the web, earlier, I found some interesting points about us guys. Some of the things I'll be writing came from Rita Rudner's 50 Facts About Men and the others are from Danielle Hollister.

• MEN ACCEPT COMPLIMENTS MUCH BETTER THAN WOMEN DO

When you tell a man he looks good, he accepts the compliment and thanks you quickly. But if you tell a woman she looks pretty, she'll raise her eyebrow, look suspicious and bombard you with questions; don't you think this dress makes me look fat? ows? bola? leche ka, nangaasar ka nanaman!!!

• IF A MAN SAYS "I'LL CALL YOU," AND HE DOESN'T, HE DIDN'T FORGET... HE DIDN'T LOSE YOUR NUMBER... HE DIDN'T DIE. HE JUST DIDN'T WANT TO CALL YOU.

This is a part of our script during dates. Aside from the compliments and all the good things we say about ourselves, we're programmed to say "I'll call you" no matter how bad our date turned out to be. Sometimes, even if we never got your number. Like I've been telling myself lately, the secret to happiness is lowered expectations.

• WHEN FOUR OR MORE MEN GET TOGETHER, THEY TALK ABOUT SPORTS.

Only if we ran out of things to say about our favorite teams, do we tend to talk about women, sex, and (gasp!) office gossip. But it's always on the menu that when guys get together the first thing we talk about are last night's game.

• ALL MEN THINK THEY'RE NICE GUYS. SOME OF THEM ARE NOT.

I'm not one of them. I really am nice. Yeah right. I actually agree with this. I came from an all-boys school my entire life, and the biggest jerks in school, when they get into a huge fight with anyone, defends themselves by saying that they're actually nice to the other. I'm actually a jerk.

• MARRIED MEN LIVE LONGER THAN SINGLE MEN. BUT MARRIED MEN ARE A LOT MORE WILLING TO DIE.

If only to escape the never-ending nagging ang blabbering of their wives. Makes me think twice about getting hitched myself. Sometimes I think maybe I'm better off single than married. I mean if you could have sex with no strings attached, why get married and be chained to one woman for the rest of your life, right? I guess I just need to meet the right one.

• A MAN NEVER WORRIES ABOUT THE FUTURE UNTIL HE GETS A WIFE.

Men are naturally carefree... until the first baby comes their way. Then we have to worry about the kids education, food at the table, whatever his wife wants him to buy for her and saving for the future. Ergo, women keeps the guys from being fun to be with. Seriously.

• MEN WAKE UP AS GOOD-LOOKING AS THEY WENT TO BED. WOMEN SOMEHOW DETERIORATE DURING THE NIGHT.

Must be the hair. But I agree, rarely do I see a woman who looks great after waking up from slumber. Sleeping beauty is really just a fairy tale.

• MEN HATE TO LOSE.

We' re generally born competitive. We might not show it, but deep down inside, it really kills us when we lose. So if you're out on a date, and then you let him lose, and then he says "I'll call you." Don't expect anything anymore.

But then again, what woman tries to understand a man? Seriously? We are what we are. We may be pigs, asses, the biggest jerks, but we could also be romantic, sweet and handy to have around with.