ENTRY 43: NOT MEANT TO BE

The past few of days have been a roller coaster ride. I did not fall in love... Almost did, but unfortunately, it did not fall through...

REASON: It was not meant to be...

I met Lyanne in the chatroom a few days ago... The whole thing was wrong from the very beginning, come to think of it... We already were wrong for each other from the moment I received my first text message from her.
But I guess boredom would make you settle for anything less than you expected or wanted. We still texted each other, simply because there's no one else to text, or talk to... It turned out, in some way, there were things that the two of have in common... We were sweet to each other that she even called me 'dadz'. We decided to meet the next day...

Long story short, she was not that much into me, looks wise. Being dumped several times in my life already, I would know... She's not different with the other people who's turned me down... Yes, she looked nice and hot... and I looked like a drab... No effort from my part... But I believe that anyone who would like me when I looked my worst, likes me sincerely... I knew that she didn't but I turned a blind eye hoping that what I had to offer was enough to woe her into liking me...

It was stupid, and I know that... So yesterday I texted her about my status... THis is how the text conversation went...

Me: ilan ang nanliligaw sayo, o kaya yung nagpaparamdam?
Lyanne: 4
Me: kasama na ako dyan?
Lyanne: Nop
Me: Ang dami! So kung irank mo kami, pang-ilan ako?
Lyanne: Di ko masasabi, lahat kayo nasa getting to know each other stage pa lang...
Me: Okay, so pag nag-exert ba ako ng effort para ligawan ka, may pag-asa ba ako?
Lyanne: You don't have to just be yourself.
Me: Now that's my problem with you di ko nafifeel na you want to get to know me better.
Lyanne: That's up to you. Kung gusto mo friends muna tayo.
Me: Wow! Salamat!
Me: No offense meant, but I deserve better. I sincerely hope na mahanap dun sa 4 yung taong magmamahal sayo ng totoo.
Lyanne: if you're not going to say anything nice to me, then spare me!
Me: Im just being realistic, but ako pag nagmahal ako binibigay ko ang lahat... Now, kung hindi kayang suklian ng taong mahal ko yung mga iaalay ko, then she does not deserve my love...

end of texts...

Am I being a jerk? But in my defense, pinaasa niya ako...